Many problems.....sex
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Many problems.....sex
| Thu, 07-24-2008 - 12:06pm |
Hi. Please help me by giving reason to what might be wrong...if you know. Thanks
1. I have noticed that when my daughter crawls on top of my lower abdomen, it hurts. Like where the gyno press on during an exam.
2. I have hardly any desire for sex
3. Ever since I had my daughter, it hurts when I have sex. The same positions I used to love, hurts. And its the same person. Its like i cant take it inside of me. The only position that doesnt hurt is missionary. Doggie used to be my favorite, but now i cant even take it.
4. I have never had any (great) feeling during sex. Its been that way forever. I was told that its a mind thing, that you have to be into it to feel the pleasure but I dont even know when I "come"
Allyssa's Mommy

Hi there, welcome to our board.
If you don't feel anything when you're having an orgasm, it's because you're not having one! What kind of foreplay do you get prior to sex? If you aren't getting any foreplay, then you can never expect to derive any enjoyment out of sex. Your mind does have a big part to play in your interest in sex, but not all of it. Do you get time for yourself? Do you ever try to dress up in sexy clothes so you feel good about yourself? Do you ever think about sex outside of the bedroom? Do you read romantic novels or watch romantic movies? There are all sorts of things you can do to try and increase your interest in sex.
Have you had your hormone levels checked to see if there is a reason why you don't have a sex drive? Do you use hormonal birth control? This is notorious for lowering sex drive. Any other health conditions - such as thyroid problems, high or low blood pressure, diabetes, depression, anxiety, etc?
As for the problem with pain during sex, and pain when your daughter climbs on you, did you give birth naturally, or have a caesarean section? Depending on how it went will depend on what information we can help you with.
Hello. Thanks for the reply!
Allyss
Hi again,
You might want to read http://www.the-clitoris.com and get to know your body a bit better. Also, there are a number of resources under the "Love" section of iVillage that are really helpful too! http://love.ivillage.com/
You obviously have some kind of sex drive, since you can find certain things stimulating. If you take the time to get to know your body, and work out what you like, or what you don't like, then you can tell your partner what you enjoy.
The pressure you feel on your abdomen when your child is on top of you, could be due to scar tissue from your c-section that is being stretched or pulled beneath the surface.
As for pain during sex, this is your body's sign that something isn't right! If you're not getting much foreplay, then you might simply be too dry down there, which can be the result of hormones changing since before you had your baby. Invest in lubricant to start with. Talk to your doctor about hormone testing, and get checked out down there to make sure there are no tears in the vagina, or any infections, etc. Anything like that can make sex painful.
As for vibrators, I have heard that the Hitachi Magic Wand is a fantastic toy. I don't have one myself (wish I did!), but because it has such a large vibrating head on it, it's hard to miss the good spots ;-). You can also buy attachments for the vagina, etc. Check around the internet for good prices, since it can be pricey, but some online stores have really good deals. If you want to know more about it, and the women on iVillage that swear by it, check these links out:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsextoys&msg=756.11
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlpleasurepr&msg=8833.1&ctx=0
Also, the Let's Talk Toys Board in general has recommendations for various toys as well:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlsextoys
Good luck!