HIV Situation - Freaking Out! HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
HIV Situation - Freaking Out! HELP!!
4
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 12:22pm

Hi all,


I am extremely worried right now, and I know there's pretty much nothing I can do at the moment except WAIT, but I just wanted to run my situation by you guys to get a general reaction as to what you all might think on this. 


First of all, I need to say please dont judge me... I know my behaviors in the past were stupid, and i'm taking every precaution I can now.. Now for the story...


I was dating this guy.  It was for a long time, on and off.  He was a known cheater, etc and the thing was we were together a long time (before I realized the cheating part) and he refused to have sex without protection.  Also, he really didnt like vaginal sex.  He always wanted anal.  Now, i'm going to cut this VERY LONG story short... The last time we had unprotected sex was in November 2007.  I know this because we went to a wedding together and shortly after we broke up and never had unprotected after that.  I had been tested a bunch of times, the last time being a couple of months ago, all coming up negative.  Since then, we've seen each other a few times and "fooled around" (bj's)... We also were together 2 months ago, we had protected sex, but he didnt even cum (he said it was because I forced him to use protection). So basically my question is, I know its hard to say, but based on the info i've given, does it sound like i'd be ok?  The reason I ask is because he called me up last week telling me he was not feeling good, he had a cold.  A bad cold.  then yesterday he called me to say he was feeling better and he said out of nowhere "that's good, that means my immune system is good, my T-Cells must be good".. This shocked me and worried me.  I told him yesterday that I wanted to cut ties with him and then he calls me out of the blue and says that?  What would he know from T-Cells anyway?  So I called him this morning and asked and he got all defensive and said "I told you, I been tested like twice in the past 2 years negative... you're so ignorant!" - Thats not enough testing in my book, and I feel i'm not the ignorant one here.  He is.  Plus the fact that he got so defensive doesnt look so good either.  I also saw him recently and he is EXTREMELY skinny, like sickly looking.  Granted, he is SO into his weight being under a certain weight its disgusting, but still.  So the only things I have on my side are the fact that the last time I had unprotected with him was November 2007, and have since tested negative like 2-3 times.  Also, ive been GAINING weight, not losing it.  I know it sounds like i'm driving myself nuts (I am), but can you guys please just tell me what you think?  Thanks...

Jacki

153.2 / 152.2 / 120

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 10:23pm

Hi there,

HIV can take six months to show up in your system, so if you were tested before six months had passed, it is possible that it might have been missed. But since there would have been a length of time between the tests that you got, I would say that if you had HIV, it should have shown up.

Anyway, T-cells are part of your immune response, so he very well have simply been saying that they were OK, since he'd managed to fight off his cold OK. It's completely normal to get a bad cold!

I really do think that you are probably worrying yourself over nothing. I mean, a guy that has a keen interest in anal sex, as opposed to vaginal sex isn't that uncommon, and it really doesn't mean anything.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 11:04pm

Hi,


I just wanted to make sure that you were understanding my time frame correctly... I have gotten tested 2-3 times within the past few months (I believe the last one was in August 2008), however, this guy and I have since engaged in in oral sex (me doing it to him and him ejaculating), and we also had sex one and only one time around September of this year, but it was protected and he did not cum.

Jacki

153.2 / 152.2 / 120

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 5:57pm

Well if you engaged in oral sex since you were last tested, and you can't be sure that you will get an honest answer out of him about his sexual history over the last few months, then yes, you do have a reason to worry, and you should be retested. As for the intercourse, well if you were using protection, then you should be OK in that regard, but that doesn't take away from the oral sex episode.

My best advice to you is to stay away from him in future, since having sex with him causes so much anxiety afterwards. Best of luck with the outcome though.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 4:28am

HIV and oral sex--not the same risk as with vaginal and anal sex...

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa19.htm

Take a deep breath and wait and get tested again. I know it's hard and by all means stay away from him and use protection if you do engage in sex.

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