Thank You (M)
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Thank You (M)
| Sun, 07-25-2004 - 8:32pm |
i wanted to thank the ladies who responded to my post "i am the walking dead." i really appreciate the prayers, as i really need them. i have been do down i have been thinking about "dying." not suicide. but just dying. i have also been sleeping a lot this weekend and i know i am super depressed. i think it is my thyroid. every time i think about dying or how i could die, i get a picture of my little boy in his crib just crying and crying. this is the only thing keeping me going right now. i am so scared that i feel this bad. i haven't felt this bad for yrs. like prob. 15 or so. and i am a little freaked out. it amazes me to think that my thyroid can make me feel this bad. i feel as tho i have some sort of terminal illness or something. i could just swear they are going to find cancer or something horrible. i guess just something to justify my feelings of being near dead. i swear, this is unreal right now. i am off from work next week, which i don;t know if it will be good or bad for me, with all this depression. i am also so irritable and short fused. i just wish there was something that could be done in the interim...while i wait for my nxt dr.'s appt.
Erika

i am also in the middle of trying to figure out a medical issue with my son. so here i am trying to figure out what is wrong with me... and then talking to dr.'s every day trying to figure out what is wrong with him. it is a bit overwhelming. we have gone from the dx of brochioloitis, allergies/asthma and now bronchial spasms... cuz i am insisting it is not asthma cuz he is not in any distress. they are calling him a happy wheezer- but he is having a lot of side effects from the meds they have him on... so anyway, i spent a lot of time on the phone with his dr. and at the dr.'s office and we have reduced some of the meds to see what will happen.
i have recently turned down a promotion at work due to this health issue. i am just not up for it. but where i work, they are very understanding and i think the opp. will come again.
i don't mean to sound so negative all the time- it is just the truth on my feelings. i am glad that here people understand. these are the only people that understand. no one else "gets it" so to speak. i guess people don't realize how bad a "thyroid" condition can be, until you have it! i am so glad to have the support here of people who get it- and know how devastating all this can be.
thanks again,
Erika
no need to worry. i completely understand! everything in our bodies are chemicals. chemicals regulate everything! from hormones to feelings. trust me i understand. this is part of the reason i asked for this week off-- my mood sucks and i know i am affecting the people around me with it! i feel sorry for my co-worker! i even told my supervisor this! it is just that i cannot control my mood right now, cuz my chemicals are so off. i know my feelings are based on my chemicals and not my life. my life is good, i just feel so bad- and i hate it. you did not sound insensitive at all. i with ya, i with ya!
Erika