How to get others to understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
How to get others to understand
8
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 9:46am

Any help would be appreciated.... I'm trying to get my mother to understand what's going on with me and all she does is say I'm lazy and to drink more water. Are there any articles/weblinks etc I can share with her to help her understand hypo and how it's really affecting me and WHY I need to get regulated via meds. She thinks I should just take a vitamin. This is really causing a HUGE split in our relationship....


 


Thanks.

((HUGS)) ~Kelly    Lilypie Baby Days
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2001
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 10:48am
Hi Kelly - Does she have a computer? A good start might be to let her see everyone's posts here and what they're going through with this. If that's too personal, the book Living Well with Hypothyroidism, by Mary Shomon, is a great overall guide to what goes on with this condition, and it's a very quick and easy read. There are a lot of links up top of this board for general info on hypothyroidism that you might want to print for her. Avoid any articles anywher else that say it's an "easy fix" with one simple pill a day!! LOL!

I really feel for you, though. I think your mom's perception is pretty much the general feeling that people have if they don't know anything about this condition. That it's an "excuse" for weight gain or laziness, when it that couldn't be farther from the truth!! I hope this helps and maybe others will have some good ideas, too. Hugs, Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 11:19am

Thanks...my dad was recently diagnosed hypo. I'm sure she tells him it's in his head too...but I am too far away to know what goes on.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2001
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 7:31pm
Well, maybe with your dad going through it, your mom will learn more about it for both of you! Is that at all possible??? Or is that too optimistic? Cathy :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 8:51am
I wish but I talked to her yesterday and said I would send her a book to read, maybe it would help her understand what my dad and I are going through. She replied, your dad doesn't have anything wrong. So, back to square one.
((HUGS)) ~Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2001
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 8:36pm
Well that's interesting. Why do you think she feels that way? Is she worried about what might happen with you and him? So she would rather ignore it? Cathy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 8:55pm
Oh Kelly, i feel for you and i know the feeling, if that makes any sense. my dad also seems to think that since i have taken my first dose of my increased meds that i should be better. he was like- so aren't you feeling better now! i'm like, i have just been on it a day! it takes longer then that to take affect... blah-blah. he also is in denial that i have Hashi's. i think he feels it is a reflection on him for giving me faulty genes or something- as when i explained the antithyroid anitbodies- he was just like well, the meds will just make that go up! it is like he doesn't want to believe i have an autoimmune disease.

he thinks it must be something else. anyway, i know this is not of any help whatsoever on your original question... but i don't have an answer for the original question. the best you can do is try and send info- but it is up to your mom to be interested enough to read it. sometimes, people just stick their head in the sand, because it is easier for them to be in denial then to deal with what is really going on around them. maybe she somehow feels responsible...? or overwhelmed by the people closest to her being sick. maybe it is brining up issues of mortality in general, her mortality or your father's or yours. illness has a tendency to do things like this to people. it get's them thinking. and some people have to use a defense mechanism because they are not ready to deal with whatever the illnes may bring. denial is also the first stage in the grieving process- could she be grieving the changes in your father, in you? the changes in the rlhsps?

just some thoughts.

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 9:22am

My mom has never believed I had migraines either, I was never treated for the severe headaches I had all through my early teen years to when I was an adult. When I had my own insurance, I started trying to get help. She tends to want to ignore these things with me, like I am the first child and could never be anything but perfect.....make sense?


My dad is really ok....he just was having some troubles with cholesterol and working his butt off and never losing any weight. His reg. doc suggested he go to and endo and get some blood work done..... Found out he was hypo and needs to be on 50mcg Synthroid. His mom is also hypo.... but my mom doesn't see the trend.


Also me running into a brick wall with her....shucks.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 12:42pm
I think Erika might be onto something here, it is hard for some people to accecpt the fact that someone that they are close to is sick. Obviously none of this is life threatening, so that's a good thing.

Denial is one of those lovely defense mechanisms that can manifest in a person. It may have to do with the way your mother was raised or has chosen to deal with things. I know a lot of people who think if they ignore "it", "it" will go away.

I don't think ignorance is the best way to live, but maybe your mother would be willing to read about the symptoms and what not. Maybe if you could tell her that you just want her to understand that this is what you , and what a lot of people go through.

That's funny about what your dad said about the medicine though. Like it was a tylenol!

I hope that you can help your family to understand more about this, the way they look at medical care and illness might have something to do with their generation. I just hope that it doesn't cause too many problems for you.

I hope that you start feeling better soon! Take care, Lisa.