will it be enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
will it be enough?
12
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 9:00pm
dr. upped my synthroif from .1 to 1.75 almost 2 wks ago. i still feel pretty crappy. moddy, depressed and tired. i feel like this is not going to be enough. i am getting scared that i will never feel better again. how long will it take for me to get regulated? i called my aunt pretty hysterical today and asked her to call my mom in arizona (who is retired, but still working- go figure) and tell her that she needs to get back here. she has a house about 15 minutes from mine, but wants to pay off some more bills before she fully stops working. i just feel like i can't do this alone right now (taking care of my baby, with this disease.) it is killing me. and i have no support.

dire straights here.

Erika

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 8:22am

Wish I could come help support you.... Thank goodness my husband is very supportive of what I'm going through. It's hard on him though, I can tell.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 12:24pm
thanks Kelly.

my dh is supportive too... but it is not like having your mom nearby, ya know? we have no one here to help us with andrew. like if he gets sick and can't go to day care, or if his day care is closed, like today. i'm taking 1/2 day and dh is taking the other 1/2. it is stressful tho, cuz like dh just called and he is having difficulty getting away- but i am like, i have things to do at work. plans and a meeting this afternoon. then work calls me and asks if i can go do an interview at one of our malls for one of our programs, but i can't. i just don't know what time i will get out of here! it is stressful and it would be so nice to be able to have someone to call and say can you watch andrew.... ugh.

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 12:25pm
so part of my point is- the stress is counterproductive to me getting better. with autoimmune disease, you need to try and reduce your stress. but with out suport nearby it is next to impossible.

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 12:42pm

Same boat, no family near by, closest is 2 hours for my family and 12 hours for DH's.....our friends all work, same with neighbors.......


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 7:55pm
kelly,

it sure sucks doesn't it? what is so hard for me, is that my mom is officially retired. she has just continued with her job as a direct hire... and keeps postponing her date to return here. she now says it has to do with finances, but it is hard for me to understand that as she is civil service at a high grade for 25 plus yrs.

i have pretty much begged her to speed up the process and move back here... but she has yet another excuse.

i guess she really just doesn't want to be here and it is really hard for me. it seems we have very different beliefs as to what priorities are important in life. i see family as a major priority and my mom just doesn't. and i know this from growing up... but it still hurts me, now that i have a family.

i know there is nothing i can do but try and break the cycle. it is just so discouraging when it hits you smack in the face.

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 11:11pm
Erika--

You have been so helpful with me and my many 'venting' posts... I wish I could help you in person (it's hard from California!).

My mom is really interesting, too, because she is also recently retired and even though she is close to help out with my 3-year-old, (and to her credit, she does pitch in)

she doesn't really "believe" in my thyroid troubles--- and has very little or no patience for me describing what I'm going through.

It's very odd--- however--- as she had near fatal hyperthyroid in college and is now hypothyroid! She tells me my symptoms are stress or just motherhood, or whatever, and really sort of belittles the whole thing... which I can't understand.

Seriosly, though, I have days that I wonder if I can go on...it's such a drag...

Just know that there are so many of us out here who support you from afar! And try to hang in there. We know how hard it is to make it day to day....

Take care,

Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:15pm
thank you so much Dee for the support. i don't know why family has such a hard time understanding this disease. my DH has had it with me and i don;t know what to do. i cannot help it... i am just exhausted and super grumpy from exhaustion. it is hard to work all day and come home to care for my 6 mo. old.

i just hate that i have to look at life with these small goals like; make it to lunch and then it is only 4 hrs- then you can take off the mask of being happy and okay. then go get Andrew and it is only a few hrs till he goes to bed and you can crawl into bed too. thank god he sleeps so well usually 6p-6a or so. i am happy if my day can go like that! and it is so pathetic. i pray for uneventful days so i can go home and *rest* in peace. i am missing out on my whole darn life and the life and growth of my child. it sucks. i can usually muster enough happiness to play with him a bit. but not much and then i have to get up and do it all over again. this is why i am wondering if i should call the dr. and see what is going on with me. this is crazy.

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:20pm
Erika--

I just posted a reply to your other post and then looked back at this one, and, WOW, can I relate to so much of what you are going through! Maybe it will help you to know that it makes me feel so much less 'nuts' that someone else understands how hard this is...! I really hate that feeling of hoping for uneventful days, too... And I constantly feel like I'm cheating my daughter because I have to keep telling her 'no' because I'm too tired or crabby to do anything; and she's totally too little to understand. So in addition to being tired and miserable, I feel like a bad wife, bad mom and bad employee...

As I wrote in the other post, call the doctor, it can't possibly hurt to. I think my Doctor is going to get a restraining order against me soon (LOL).

Good luck & take care,

Dee.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:52pm
Erika,

I feel exactly the same way I spend all day waiting until I will have nothing else to do and can just sleep. I find myself counting down the hours, and the guilt is really starting to get to me because my family deserves better that this, this week has been really crazy for me because I have been so tired that I have been falling asleep in the middle of conversations, yesterday I called my Mom at work and by the time the phone dialed the number and it started to ring I was already asleep, so my Mom picked up the phone and I was snoring on the other end!!!!! Hello, what a dork! who does that??? But anyway I totally understand what your going through and please feel free to email me any time. I hope your having a better day today and just take it one day at a time.

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 8:02pm
thanks ladies. it does help to know i am not alone, altho, i wouldn't wish this on anyone. how long have you guys been under treatment? i guess i am at a point, wondering when this will end or get better?

Erika

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