Frustration Cycle

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Frustration Cycle
8
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 6:45pm
Hi:

Every so often--- it seems to be a cycle--- I get so down about the hypo. I'm in one of those moments now--- where I feel so awful about how my daughter has to deal with a 33% mom, and my husband has to take the brunt of my moods, naps, and stress. He also worries because I look awful and haven't been myself for months now. I'm also a rotten employee and bad friend.

I have been to 3 doctors (2 endos and a PCP) and had just about every test run you can imagine... except, of course, a complete thyroid panel! AAGH! None of them sees the value in measuring anything other than TSH (and antibodies, thank goodness one of them agreed to test that). And all of them congratulated me (or their nurses did) when my TSH reached 3.4. (Despite my symptom complaints, which they seemed baffled by... but how could that be when your TSH is 'perfectly normal?" EXACT QUOTE) "Maybe the symptoms are related to something else." Even the endo who told me we could target a TSH of 1 or 2 hasn't returned my phone call since the 3.4 lab and I still don't know what he makes of the high calcium reading (and haven't been sent the lab results showing me the numbers, which I really want to know!)

Well, I have decided to switch medical centers, but since I'm limited to Kaiser (my insurance), I'm not hopeful it will be better. But I'm going ahead with a transfer from one local campus to another. (There are only 2 endos at each campus and they don't let you switch without a huge grievance process).

In the meantime, my hair still falls out, my skin is so dry that I have constant rosacea breakouts, I have heart palpitations, muscle twitches, achey muscles & joints, heavy periods, exhaustion, mood swings, rapid weight gain, dementia and my throat hurts (and so does my neck--- at the back on my spine). I get very, very depressed sometimes... It makes me so greatful for my daughter because she gives me something positive to focus on or I really don't know how I'd pull out of the depression.

OK, I guess this was just a vent. Thanks for being here.

Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2001
In reply to: dee571
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 10:22pm
Hi Dee - I'm so sorry you have to go through this! Please just hang in there. Eventually you will find a doctor that will give you the medication you need. I just can't believe what some of us have to go through. It's just awful. In the meantime, try not to be so hard on yourself. You're doing the best you can do under very difficult circumstances. Try to focus more on the future, believing that you will find a good doctor who will treat you. It may take time, yes, but then, hopefully, all of this will be history. If it helps at all, I was exactly where you are now at this time last summer, sinking very low into a thyroid-type crash. But we are survivors - we mistreated, undermedicated hypo-chondriacs!! We will prevail. You'll make it through. Perhaps it's that time of the month? When everything seems a little grimmer? I'm sending big hugs to you and keeping you in my prayers. Big Hugs, Cathy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
In reply to: dee571
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:36am


Thanks, Cathy.

It does help to know that I'm not alone and I know it will all seem better when I find a doctor who understands. You are so sweet, thanks for being here!

Dee.

ps. Happy Halloween! Taking my "ballerina ghost" to her halloween party & trick-or-treating should take my mind off things. Fingers crossed no one asks me how I am! LOL! I'm training myself to say, "fine, thanks, and you?"!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
In reply to: dee571
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 12:38pm





WE LOVE YOU DEE!!!!!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
In reply to: dee571
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 10:09pm
Sending lots of great big hugs!!!Big Hug

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
In reply to: dee571
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 8:37am


Thanks Michelle & Laura!

I felt a little better just posting my 'vent'... and then getting your replies has lifted my spirits. I had the courage to go online and choose new providers at the other Medical Center... today I will call and divorce the old doctors... then, and now let's all cross fingers, I will call the new endo and hope my referral follows me.

Thanks again, how are you two doing??

Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
In reply to: dee571
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:29am
hey dee---

you have to let me know what the new endo says because I feel the same exact way and I don't know how to explain it to my dr. If you have any advice please let me know. I just don't want to get out of bed these days, and I have to stay home with 2 small kids, 2 & 4 years old so they need my attention. I can't remember anything and my dr wants to keep putting me on anxiety pills, went through 6 different types of anxiety pills and nothing works, they just put me into panic attacks, or something that is like a panic attack, but I guess it don't help dwelling on the way I feel either.

Please if you have any advice feel free to post, there are people out there that feel like you do and would love to hear from someone that can relate to their same situations.

Hang in there and I will pray for you

AMY

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
In reply to: dee571
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 6:54pm


Hi:

We just have to hold on to the idea that when we are on the right dose of the right supplement, it WILL start to get better. It is so hard sometimes to believe, because everyday life can get so overwhelming... but that's when we need to come to this board and vent... and remember that people like Cathy are out there--- people who have been in our situation and are now on the right dose & right med and feeling great again.

I hate to sound terrible, but I'll be very surprised if my new endo gives a toss about how I feel... so far they've only treated my labs, not my symptoms. And this depression cycle is a symptom! But maybe both of us can take comfort in the fact that our friends here on this board do care and understand!

You hang in there, OK? Keep on calling your Dr. as much as it takes to get the response you need right now.

I'll post whatever I find helps, and you do the same OK?

Take care!!

Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
In reply to: dee571
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 7:57pm
that is what I am going through my dr treats the labs and not my symptoms, he thinks that its anxiety and has put me on 6 different pills and none have done anything for me, just give me more anxiety and panic attacks. I feel worse and worse everyday, and I guess it don't help sitting at home dwelling on how I feel. I am just so confused on what to do, I don't want my dr to name me as a PTA ( pain in the you know what) but I want to feel better and it seems to just get worse.