Frustration Cycle
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| Sat, 10-30-2004 - 6:45pm |
Every so often--- it seems to be a cycle--- I get so down about the hypo. I'm in one of those moments now--- where I feel so awful about how my daughter has to deal with a 33% mom, and my husband has to take the brunt of my moods, naps, and stress. He also worries because I look awful and haven't been myself for months now. I'm also a rotten employee and bad friend.
I have been to 3 doctors (2 endos and a PCP) and had just about every test run you can imagine... except, of course, a complete thyroid panel! AAGH! None of them sees the value in measuring anything other than TSH (and antibodies, thank goodness one of them agreed to test that). And all of them congratulated me (or their nurses did) when my TSH reached 3.4. (Despite my symptom complaints, which they seemed baffled by... but how could that be when your TSH is 'perfectly normal?" EXACT QUOTE) "Maybe the symptoms are related to something else." Even the endo who told me we could target a TSH of 1 or 2 hasn't returned my phone call since the 3.4 lab and I still don't know what he makes of the high calcium reading (and haven't been sent the lab results showing me the numbers, which I really want to know!)
Well, I have decided to switch medical centers, but since I'm limited to Kaiser (my insurance), I'm not hopeful it will be better. But I'm going ahead with a transfer from one local campus to another. (There are only 2 endos at each campus and they don't let you switch without a huge grievance process).
In the meantime, my hair still falls out, my skin is so dry that I have constant rosacea breakouts, I have heart palpitations, muscle twitches, achey muscles & joints, heavy periods, exhaustion, mood swings, rapid weight gain, dementia and my throat hurts (and so does my neck--- at the back on my spine). I get very, very depressed sometimes... It makes me so greatful for my daughter because she gives me something positive to focus on or I really don't know how I'd pull out of the depression.
OK, I guess this was just a vent. Thanks for being here.
Dee.

Thanks, Cathy.
It does help to know that I'm not alone and I know it will all seem better when I find a doctor who understands. You are so sweet, thanks for being here!
Dee.
ps. Happy Halloween! Taking my "ballerina ghost" to her halloween party & trick-or-treating should take my mind off things. Fingers crossed no one asks me how I am! LOL! I'm training myself to say, "fine, thanks, and you?"!
WE LOVE YOU DEE!!!!!
Michelle
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Thanks Michelle & Laura!
I felt a little better just posting my 'vent'... and then getting your replies has lifted my spirits. I had the courage to go online and choose new providers at the other Medical Center... today I will call and divorce the old doctors... then, and now let's all cross fingers, I will call the new endo and hope my referral follows me.
Thanks again, how are you two doing??
Dee.
you have to let me know what the new endo says because I feel the same exact way and I don't know how to explain it to my dr. If you have any advice please let me know. I just don't want to get out of bed these days, and I have to stay home with 2 small kids, 2 & 4 years old so they need my attention. I can't remember anything and my dr wants to keep putting me on anxiety pills, went through 6 different types of anxiety pills and nothing works, they just put me into panic attacks, or something that is like a panic attack, but I guess it don't help dwelling on the way I feel either.
Please if you have any advice feel free to post, there are people out there that feel like you do and would love to hear from someone that can relate to their same situations.
Hang in there and I will pray for you
AMY
Hi:
We just have to hold on to the idea that when we are on the right dose of the right supplement, it WILL start to get better. It is so hard sometimes to believe, because everyday life can get so overwhelming... but that's when we need to come to this board and vent... and remember that people like Cathy are out there--- people who have been in our situation and are now on the right dose & right med and feeling great again.
I hate to sound terrible, but I'll be very surprised if my new endo gives a toss about how I feel... so far they've only treated my labs, not my symptoms. And this depression cycle is a symptom! But maybe both of us can take comfort in the fact that our friends here on this board do care and understand!
You hang in there, OK? Keep on calling your Dr. as much as it takes to get the response you need right now.
I'll post whatever I find helps, and you do the same OK?
Take care!!
Dee.