WELL..I am a failure....
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WELL..I am a failure....
| Mon, 06-23-2003 - 8:14pm |
I didnt wear my patch to work last nite and bummed 4 cigs..I had NOT had any in 5 days. I dont know ..it is so hard working in aplace where smoking is acceptable--and I just am so weak at times. But I slapped back on my patch today. I dont know if I will EVER fully quit. I sometimes just dont care. To day I am fine..its so hard working in a pub..the devil Nic is all over the place. to morrow I WONT forget to put it on..I SWEAR!!!!I feel like this battle will never end. Its all in my head at this point...its just watching everyone smoking and laffing makes me want to do it. The power of suggestion. I know that i wont be laffing the day they say "you have lung cancer" tho. ARRRGH!! I need to get re-focused on the whole quit thing. I no longer have my meter set..its too depressing.ODAT--literally for me...mel


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You definitely are not a failure! If you didn't want to quit so bad you wouldn't keep trying .. That alone should tell you something good about yourself.
Forget yesterday it's over, forgive yourself .. Today, tonight is what you have ..
No smoking right now ..
It is much harder to quit working in the situation you work in .. So you have to be even stronger .. Find something to replace it with .. I mean it.. You know those cute littrle straws they have with the drinks .. get bunches and munch the heck out of them, LOL .. I am completely serious! Chew them to death When you feel that urge .. grab one of those .. think of us shaking our heads and saying.. nope, not right now .. Put it off.
Walk away .. Go and count to ten or twenty Drink a full glass of water .. anything butt ..
I have faith in you that you will succeed .. Just have it in yourself as you should!
You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for .. So hold your head up high ..
Because today you will not smoke ..
Loves ya hon always :)
~Hugs~
You're not a failure, you're addicted and it's one hard addiction to beat but if you learn from all that you're going through, you will beat it.
I think your idea to re-focus on the whole quit thing a good one. First, make a new list of why you really really want to quit. Your friend that you want to honor, dragging oxygen around, lack of freedom, the smell, cost etc. Think about each one a bit before writing down the next.
Do you know why you didn't wear your patch to work? Perhaps even examine that. Have a box there with quit tools, straws that you can suck, chew, generally mangle and go for one every time you get the urge to smoke. Also in the box, put real gum, mints and perhaps a rubber band to wear around your wrist to snap if a though to smoke comes along. Have your water in a nice glass. Also, I have done a lot of praying to get through. Write down those slogans that help.
Don't beat yourself up hon but do strengthen that resolve and ask for help. :) You can and will do it-just for the day. :)
~Golly~
A puff away from a pack a day
First, you are NOT a failure. One of *my* sayings I keep here by the puter is 'The only time we fail is when we quit trying.' Don't give this up...not yet. Golly suggested you examine why you didn't have the patch on Sunday nite. Well.....I think because you don't wake up with the craves, so you....just 'poof'...don't even THINK about cigs...until...evil NICODEMON spots you in that Pub, and ::gasp:: sucks you in with his powers. JMHO, of course
Mel, believe me, I am still having a tough go of my quit. The past month or so I've even bummed a cig on two different stressful occasions. Just one, mind you, but as Golly said....'one puff away from a pack a day'. I just have to keep fighting because if I give up now...I may never try this again.
YOU said...."I SWEAR!!!!I feel like this battle will never end. Its all in my head at this point..." Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. I'm right there w/ya:)
I will end my rambling (who, me? ramble? ) with this infamous quote:
"Would you rather be a quitter w/an occasional desire to smoke, or a smoker w/a constant desire to quit." Part 2 of that is where i was a year ago...part 1 is where I am now. Think I'd rather stay Part 1....what about you, my friend?
xoxoxo Stel
* Stel *
Very well said Stel .. You're the best!!
>>Part 2 of that is where i was a year ago...part 1 is where I am now. Think I'd rather stay Part 1....what about you
**You got that right on perfect!!
~Hugs~
>"Would you rather be a quitter w/an occasional desire to smoke, or a smoker w/a constant desire to quit."
Part 2 of that is where i was a year ago...part 1 is where I am now. Think I'd rather stay Part 1....what about you, my friend?
**And that part one 1 WILL keep getting better and better as long as we never take another puff. Thank you Stel for reposting that about the desire to smoke.
Mel, just another hug and thumbs up that you can do it!
~Golly~
Almost makes you wish that you had a computer at work so that you could log on to iV when ever the urge struck ya huh?? ;o)
This is just a bump in the road! Be strong!
And you *DO* care!!!!!!
Much love to you girlie,
~DJ~
Mae
Mel - - you keep trying over and over - - NO WAY!! you a failure!! You ARE going to get this quit because you won't STOP till you do!!
Stel is absolutely right about being a non-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke as opposed to a smoker with constant desire to quit!! How Horrible THAT IS!! You ARE a quitter but sometimes you have a smoke - - so you aren't 100% There yet, , but girl you are Getting there!! I bet those boys are proud of you because you WON't GIVE UP!! THat says a lot. It's tough...that's why some don't make it - but you will!! You are a strong!!
xoxo,
tracy
* Stel *
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