Help me get through this ...
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| Sat, 07-12-2003 - 3:22pm |
I am having very bad moods. Really bad. Maybe I have been sounding good here but my kids would beg to differ. My doctor said these moods - more than moods, they last for hours - are directly related to the hormonal changes and this will be the most difficult time in my life. I have bipolar illness which is the reason for the prognosis. He is not trying to scare me or be negative, he is warning me. I have to be SO careful.
Right now maybe the tranq is kicking in. I would rather just sleep through this. I hate myself!!!! I mean, not myself but this time! My kids hightailed it to their chores - and the one is so upset, he worries I know, but he is also mad I'm sure. He said yesterday, "I hate hormones!" When I got through a spell (mostly) this afternoon, I told them how much I hate it too, and I apologized and they just hugged me. I am so very lucky. But, I am afraid as this goes on that they will want to do anything but hug me.
Oh man am I emotional right now, ladies. When it was bad this morning, I just wanted to lay down and avoid it, but I couldn't. I started cleaning the kitchen, and what a racket I made. The kids disappeared to their chores. I clattered dishes just as noisily as I could. I threw things across the kitchen. I did not break anything yet. But man talk about aggressive!!
I know Golly's going to say meditate. Not THEN I couldn't!!!!!!!!! See those exclamation marks, Golly? I think I will later, after I'm done spilling and reading about Wednesday's Wiggles and Thursday's collections. Which could be the rest of the day. Actually, it'll get my mind off myself. You are so GOOD for me!!!
It's not too hot in my room right now as the weather is cooler. Maybe I should just stay in here until my "hulkness" fades, in about 4 or 5 years.
Oh yeah, I have ordered a supplement which my doctor says DOES help some women. Usually medical people are so against natural things. So I believe him. NOT about to take hormones -- hmm, though, maybe I would be better off if I had the heart attack there is increased risk for, and just die. What do you think?????
I did get a shower and put a bunch of smelly lotions on, and feel a teensy bit feminine now.
HELP - Hugs, Golly, is there a board for crazy women???
Love,
Yogi

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**Good. :) If you want to borrow my old fuzzy slippers and teddy bear, I'll let ya! :)
~Golly~
Doctors are really discouraging the HRTs. The risks have been found to outweigh the benifits in most cases. My doc whom I trust completely does not want me on them. If the cohosh and other things do not help he has another medicine up his sleeve, so we'll have to see.
You're right about not smoking. The cravings have been worse lately, but I made a commitment this morning not to smoke today. Sure is frustrating at times.
Hey I am psyched about Monday! You can do this, you have before. I have faith in you!
Love,
Yogi
I don't really want to go to a board where EVERYONE is nuts. But, I'll look for it.
There is no place where everyone is nuts. YOGI YOU ARE NOT NUTS!! Good Grief!! Never think that. The Boards are places where you can find girls who are experiencing the same things you are and looking for answers. If nothing else they show you, YOUR ARE NOT NUTS, NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If anything you are one smart lady seeking answers and help to your questions and problems. Hilary
First, I am hoping you wake up today with much better feelings about
yourself AND your situation. Yes, I would be that 'dummy' that was
HOPING the sweats your were referring to was your 'lie'. So sorry
I wasn't right:)
Ummmmm, I obviously need to study up more on HRTs, as the discussion
came up with some girlfriends just last night. I'm on Premarin and
have been for 4 years. I don't seem to be wackier than normal because
of it. As for the studies, I didn't know anything about not smoking
with HRTs, and I thought it helped osteoporosis...but COULD possibly
lead to heart probs. Hmmmm....guess we BOTH need to check that board
out that Hil suggested. She's already suggested it to me ONCE, so
guess I should heed my *OLD* friend's advice
As far as the bipolar, if you don't mind my asking, are you taking
anything like Depacote for that. I, too, have a friend w/bipolar...
think she's taking something else now though...perhaps something
newer and better.
Yogi, PLEASE stay with this board. Like I suggested about the cigs,
I also think us helping each other with hormone related issues can
also fall under getting FIT & HEALTHY....although we don't have any
experts here:) But...you could go at least check out the links
provided on that board....and stay here for the all important
*socialization*.
Yogi (I even know your REAL name from back last fall on BTSH )......
as I have told you before, you have a wonderful talent for writing
and expressing yourself. Try not to beat yourself up during these
'down' times. As my Mom always said, and now I have to remind her....
"This too shall pass." Just hang on tight, and remember that we
are here for you.
Big hugs, Stel
* Stel *
I'll post again, though, that today I am FREE! Bleeding stopped, no sweating last night and I FEEL HUMAN!!! yay. I will cherish today. Supplement should be here tomorrow with my order.
What is hypo, hon?
Love,
Yogi
I might try looking at other boards, I have to have an open mind, but this board is my absolute FAVORITE, and my HOME board.
Love,
Yogi
"Mel on Wheels"
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think she's taking something else now though...perhaps something
newer and better.
Yes I am on many medicines, Stel, the best combination of things right now for me, and I am at a higher level of functioning since I started having problems twenty years ago. To have ANY job is an amazing thing to me. To have kept it up and to be watching my little business slowly grow is a miracle! Plus I am a lot more social in the past few years, something I always wanted but found so very difficult. So in general I am happy. I have been with my doctor for at least fifteen years. He's the one that figured out I was bipolar and started treating me that way and got me going. I went through a very bad spell from about 1998 to 2001. So I met Golly and Hugs while coming out of the worst part. Eventually my doc and I found a new combination of meds and I have been able to work on recovering and getting on with life.
Yogi, PLEASE stay with this board. Like I suggested about the cigs,
I also think us helping each other with hormone related issues can
also fall under getting FIT & HEALTHY....although we don't have any
experts here:) But...you could go at least check out the links
provided on that board....and stay here for the all important
*socialization*.
Stel, that is exactly how I have been feeling about it. Thanks for putting it into words for me!!
Yogi (I even know your REAL name from back last fall on BTSH ) oops we don't want anyone knowing THAT now do we (VBG)
as I have told you before, you have a wonderful talent for writing
and expressing yourself. Try not to beat yourself up during these
'down' times. As my Mom always said, and now I have to remind her....
"This too shall pass." Just hang on tight, and remember that we
are here for you.
Stel. I'd say you have quite a talent for helping people get a grip, in a very gentle way .. thank you.
I'm feeling so much better today!! That too passed! But, then again, this TOO shall pass! LOL!
Love,
Yogi
Love,
Yogi
Yogi
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