totally bummed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
totally bummed
10
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 1:17pm
Well it just keeps getting better. My dh is on probation for child support. He pays $124.52 every week. Due to this surgery he will not be able to make some payments. I only bring home $250.00 a week so me paying it is not a realistic idea. So we must wait to see if the lawyer will make a deal if not he will go to prision for 18 months. Plus cuz he is unable to work and pay his insurance premiums every week that may end as well. School starts on the 14 here I have no school clothes or supplies or decent shoes for my boys.

I wish I had rich relatives who could loan me money but no luck. Today is my babies birthdat he will be 10. I told him that he will have to wait for his present. I so hate that I wish I could do more for them. I feel like the worst parent ever. Even my loser in laws got school stuff for their kids. Someone else footed the bill as usual. Why does life get so hard. I really just want to go home and cry!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 1:25pm


Awww {{{Mary}}}

Sorry to hear things are so rough right now hon.

You have to believe it will work itself all out someway, somehow ..

Just do the best you can .. the kids will understand.

For now, focus on today and what needs to be done ..

As for school supplies, etc .. that will ahppen too .. watch and see .. have faith!

~Hugs~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 1:32pm
Oh Mary - - hun, I am so sorry.

Mary, I'm not for sure, but I don't think they can come after your hubby if he is unable to work right now....I think they SHOULD try to work a deal where he just pays a smaller amount....my hub had that happen once and they Did take into consideration the fact that he was not making what he previously was making. I know everybody's situation is different, but, if you talked and explained things to the ex, any chance she'd ease up at least till hub is back on his feet??

I hope and pray that your hubby will be back to feeling better very soon. Have the doctors said anything about how/when he will be up and feeling better? He WILL get better .... things will get back on track. This is just so hard right now.

You take care of yourself and stay strong.

Hugs,

tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 1:36pm
{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}~~~

>>>So we must wait to see if the lawyer will make a deal if not he will go to prision for 18 months.<<<

**I'm pretty sure there is some type of *arrangement* that can be made with child support while he is in his current state. Hopefully, the lawyer can give him some type of grace period while he is on his medical leave.

Don't get discouraged girlie! My mother was not able to provide everything for us growing up, but she did her best. I knew that I was loved & I'm sure that DS knows this as well.

I remember times when we did not have shampoo & had to wash our hair with dishwashing liquid.

Be encouraged; hold your head up. Things will get better!!!

Much love to you,

~dj~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 1:47pm
I don't claim to be an expert in anything, but the whole "day to day" survival thing is something I have learned well. All I can say is I understand. Nothing is more frustrating than the limbo of running to stand still. What kept me going at my absolute lowest, when the IRS was ready to seize everything because of back taxes and when I went a year and a half without a paycheck so I could pay the employees that kept our business from bankruptcy the only thing that kept me going was telling myself "Well, at this point I can't go anywhere but up."

The sun will rise tomorrow and life will go on. Keep plowing through and stay strong. Find 15 minutes every day that are only yours to keep your mind fresh. If you don't you won't be any good to anybody. And find a new lawyer for your hubby's child support case.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 5:04pm
It isnt up to his ex but child support enforcement and the proscuting attorny. So far they are not giving an inch.He could quit his job get his retirement to pay child support but then that is a probation violation. And if he were to rehire in thirty days he would lose all his seniority and raises. which works out to about four dollars an hour loss.

I guess my poor mood shows cuz my boss bought me a six pack and said see ya later. He will be off tommorow cuz I will be off wed thurs, and fri. Surgery is schedualed for 8:00am so we must be there at 7:00am wed. This time they will go in through his belly button and make the repair from inside instead of out side like the first time. I am hoping he will recover faster this time. I had my tubes tied and they went through my belly button and it was not that bad it took about three days before I went back to work. I know it wont be that fast but hopefully by Sept. I am going to get another cold one now.~Mary~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 5:12pm
Stay positive Mary!!! We are here for you! ALWAYS!!

Much love,

~dj~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 2:30am


{{Mary}}

This sure is a stormy sea you're having to go through right now. Is there a church you go to or one nearby where you could talk to the pastor. Often they can be such a real help and also a source of comfort. Another resource is a school councellor if you can get hold of one. They could have a list of places that can help.

I'm so sorry and you and your family are in my prayers. Keep the faith, k?

~Golly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2002
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 3:30am
This sure is a stormy sea you're having to go through right now. Is there a church you go to or one nearby where you could talk to the pastor. Often they can be such a real help and also a source of comfort. Another resource is a school councellor if you can get hold of one. They could have a list of places that can help.

Golly that has to be the best advice yet! Hilary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 7:27am
>>It isnt up to his ex but child support enforcement and the proscuting attorny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mary, what a predicament indeed. That statement above just doesn't seem fair.

But then again, I guess life sometimes isn't fair, is it? I agree that Golly had

some excellent suggestions for you.

Wishing dh well in surgery #2 tomorrow, and a VERY speedy recovery:)

** stel **

* Stel *

Avatar for kiggidyk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 11:02am
just wanted to send some HUGS your way

kim