Question for anyone with children
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Question for anyone with children
| Wed, 08-06-2003 - 11:00am |
Starting a family isn't too far off in the distance for me right now. I turned 29 in May and am definitely feeling the itch lately. The BF and I have talked about it and I can see it won't be too long. Obviously our immediate focus is just getting settled somewhere. I just have some questions for everyone here that has children.
1. Were your children planned or surprises?
2. Were you married when you first discovered you were pregnant?
3. At what age did you have your first child? Your last?
4. How many do you have?
5. Looking back, do you wish you waited until you were older or wish you had them younger?

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**Thank goodness you are not
>>..wonder what my parents were doing on Valentine's Day!! EWWWWWW
**Bet our boys say that about us now, LOL
~Hugs~
Great to see you here :)
2. Were you married when you first discovered you were pregnant?
Yep :) Society is a lot looser now. When my children were born, being unwed and pregnant still made little old ladies scowl and say "tsk,tsk"
------------------------------------------
Society is *very* different now .. not sure if that's a good thing or not
Aren't *boys* the best .
Thanks for stopping by :)
~Hugs~
>>3. At what age did you have your first child? Your last? 25 and 28
4. How many do you have? Two terrific sons in all senses of the word!!
**Let's see, and my guys came when I was 26 and 29. :) We're a lot alike there.
>>What a wonderful time it is in your life! and we get to hear about some of it!
**Isn't it great? :)
~Golly
Welx, Golly :)
Yep! You know what I mean :)
>>I know that some people say that times have changed, but the needs of children haven't changed.
**Good point in reminding us how important children are as they are our future :)
Thanks for stopping by .. Perhaps we'll see you again :)
~Hugs~
Even if you're not religious, there are certain societal benefits to being married before having children, the biggest I can think of off the top of my head is for insurance. If you wanted to stay home with your children, you may not be able to be on your SO's insurance because you aren't married. Some insurance companies are still insisting on dependents being married or direct descendents. How will people identify you as a family? I know that seems archaic, but some parts of society still haven't changed.
Even if you did a civil ceremony, there are certain privileges that are extended to married couples that those of us who aren't married don't have access to. With marriage comes certain implied contracts--if I get sick or have to be in the hospital, he can authorize medical treatment. If we're not married (and my SO and I aren't), we have to draw up a power of attorney agreement so that he can, which costs money and gets lawyers involved anyway. If I want to be on the mortgage, same deal. And if something were to happen to him, God forbid, I'd be out on the street unless his family thought of me, because I am not entitled to anything that we currently share, unless we draw up yet another legal document. Marriage offers certain securities that aren't available to singles without a lot of effort.
Honestly, I'm not trying to draw you into an argument, but I was hoping you didn't just see marriage as a government conspiracy to take more taxes from you. You don't have to respond, it's just stuff to consider.
I'm just about your age, possibly in a similar position, but I'm waiting for my career-oriented, well-adjusted, good-futured partner to be ready to get married, so I can relate to some of how you're feeling. I was already going to post about becoming ME in my late 20's, but I guess I got distracted--I'm not who I was five years ago either!
I wish you well!
Judie
Edited to remove stuff that could have been construed as confrontational! I mean no harm! ;)
Edited 8/8/2003 3:44:19 PM ET by judie_rae
>>I'm sorry to jump into a discussion COMPLETELY unannounced, but....
**So glad you did drop by, we love visitors here
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this ..
Everyone does what works best for them and *most* of the time all turns out well.
We as adults ususally *always* try to do what's best for the children
As that is what its all about .. the kids .. as they are our future ..
Thanks again for stopping by .. hope to see you again :)
~Hugs~
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