SOME HUMP DAY HUMOR FOR YA !

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
SOME HUMP DAY HUMOR FOR YA !
12
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 12:38pm
SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT, & PERHAPS RELATE TO:

1. You should not have children after 35. Really...35 children are enough.

 

2. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

 

3. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

 

4. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

 

5. "No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning."

 

6. I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18"

 

7. "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?"

 

8. "How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?"

 

9. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

 

10. On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was...surrounded by trees and bushes.

 

11. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

 

12. I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

 

13. The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.

 

14. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

 

15. Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

 

16. I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.

 

17. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,

'Thyroid problem?'"

18. "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by

standing up really fast."

19. Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

 

20. Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.

 

21. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal'?

 

22. I see your IQ test results were negative.

 

23. Regular naps prevent old age.....especially if you take them while driving.

 

24. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

 

25. I think my problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

 

26. If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

 

27. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

 

28. Travel is very educational. I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages.

* Stel *

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 12:51pm
That was exactly what I needed!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 2:47pm
Very Funny!! Just what I needed!!

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 3:43pm


Thank you stel. Your timing was perfect. :)

~Golly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 4:05pm


These were great Stel, LOL

Perfect for today .. thanks for the share :)

~Hugs~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 4:43pm
MY MY stella ! Did you make all those up???You are so smart!! xoxo mel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 5:16pm
ROTFLMAO!!

#9 is the best one for our board!! ;o)

>>>Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?<<<

Thanks Stel!

Much love,

~dj~



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 5:29pm
#9 is the best one for our board!! ;o)

>>>Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?<<<

**Oh my, LOL

~Hugs~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2002
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 7:24pm
Funny bugger! HA! Hilary (Hugs, let me know if this is "rude". It is not here but if it is there I won't use the expression ever again :-)!) H.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 7:27pm
>>>(Hugs, let me know if this is "rude". It is not here but if it is there I won't use the expression ever again


**Don't understand what you are asking about Hilary .. Sorry ..

~Hugs~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 7:59pm
>>>Funny bugger!<<<

**Not a bad word here! I call people "buggers" all the time. Mostly kids! ;o)

Much love,

~dj~

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