SOME HUMP DAY HUMOR FOR YA !
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| Wed, 08-06-2003 - 12:38pm |
1. You should not have children after 35. Really...35 children are enough.
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2. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.
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3. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
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4. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
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5. "No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning."
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6. I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18"
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7. "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?"
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8. "How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?"
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9. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
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10. On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was...surrounded by trees and bushes.
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11. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
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12. I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.
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13. The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
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14. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
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15. Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.
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16. I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
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17. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,
'Thyroid problem?'"
18. "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by
standing up really fast."
19. Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
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20. Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.
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21. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal'?
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22. I see your IQ test results were negative.
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23. Regular naps prevent old age.....especially if you take them while driving.
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24. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
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25. I think my problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
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26. If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
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27. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
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28. Travel is very educational. I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages.

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Thanks a million
Barb
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