Deciding to relocate....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Deciding to relocate....
6
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 6:05pm
Hi All,

Just wanted to share my weekend news. SO and I have finally decided we're going to move back to his home town at the end of Sept. He has a seasonal construction job which will be done then, and he has a really good permanent job lined up back home. His parents and siblings (and friends) live there, unlike the town we're in now, which we really don't know anyone except co-workers. The only bad thing is that my parents and family live in Wi, which is 6 hours from where I am now. Once I move to his home town, I'll be almost 9 hours away. And my family is really close, so they aren't taking this really well. My mom thinks she's losing me completely, but I told her I would visit just as much as if I hadn't moved at all. I hate hurting anyone's feelings, especially my parents.

It was a hard decision to make, but we just want to get settled down somewhere where we can raise a family. We have already talked about getting married next year. And it is really important to me that we have some family, especially grandparents, close by when we have children. I have no desire to move back to Wi, which is why we chose his home town.

I'm sure some of you have been in a similar position, whether you're the parents or the children, so if you'd like to share your story, I would really appreciate it!

hugs,

Hillary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 8:42pm


Hi Hillary,

I think many women have gone long distances from their original families Hillary. I was brought up during an era where it was "whither thou goest, I will go". So I left mine to marry dh and live almost 2,000 miles away. I knew and they knew it would mean not seeing them except once a year for maybe a week if we were lucky. They were very unhappy I was leaving the and I only unhappy about leaving because after a long wait, I was going to a bright new future. His family was here and welcomed me with open arms which really helped. So yes I do think having some family around is definitely good. :)

Now our oldest is about 2,000 miles from us and his wife's family welcomed him with open arms. We miss him but know he has a bright present and future. And who knows, maybe someday we'll retire there. :)

HTH hon.

~Golly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2002
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 2:05am
Hey Hillary, My family moved to the UK for a year when I was 17, my dh and I moved away from Australia and lived in Hong Kong for a couple of years, and my son is now living in Canada. It doesn't matter what choices you make someone is going to hurt a lot!!! but in the long run you have to make the decision that most suits your needs and idea of a secure future for yourself, your partner and future family.

It is basically "your turn" so go ahead with whatever makes you feel "right". I posted in a moment of weakness the other day but know that as a Mother I am so proud of my ds moving away, onwards and upwards with his life and will just cherish any time that I have with him in the future (even if I have to break the bank account to do it lol!!) Hilary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 6:29am
Hey Hillary,

Making those kinds of decisions are never easy.

Sometimes we just have to do what's best as you did for you and your SO ..

Our families may not like our choice, but soon learn to accept it.

Being nine hours away is tough .. maybe flying there would work as well.

Just know you made the right choice and it will all work out :)

~Hugs~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 8:17am
Well,you gotta spread your wings and "fly the coop" eventually.heck,i couldnt wait to get away from my home-town..I ran off and became a beach-bum, but you are probably much closer to your family than I was then. Do what you feel in your heart is RIGHT FOR YOU!!!and enjoy the excitment!!! xoxo mel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 9:24pm
Aww {{{{Hill}}}}~~

This has gotten harder & harder on me each year. My mother lives about 4 hours away (which is nothing compared to your 9 hours) but there are times when I just wish that I could drive down the street & see her like DH can with his family.

My only advice would be to keep in touch constantly. Whether it's a phone call, a letter, a card, or an email.

I try to call my mom at least once a week & we will chat for almost 2 hours. YES! 2 HOURS!! LOL! ;o)

As far as my extended family goes, I make sure that I keep up with each & every birthday. Until I have children of my own, that is my way of keeping the little ones (and the older ones too) happy! A card can make a world of difference to someone! ;o)

Eventually, you won't feel the distance. It will only be rough at first.

I applaude you for making such a tough decision. I know it wasn't easy for you.

Much love to you,

~dj~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 9:26pm
>>>It doesn't matter what choices you make someone is going to hurt a lot!!! but in the long run you have to make the decision that most suits your needs and idea of a secure future for yourself, your partner and future family.>>>

**VERY nicely put Hilary!! PERFECT advice!

Much love,

~dj~