A little negative but you gotta laugh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2002
A little negative but you gotta laugh!
5
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:30pm
OK it's Sunday so just for a laugh, hmm or perhaps it is not that funny for some of us! Sorry if it has been posted before and I missed it!

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,

the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,

and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause...kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

19. I am unable to remember if I have mailed this to you before or not Hilary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:12pm


That's great Hilary, LOL

Thanks for the chuckle

~Hugs~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 6:20pm
TOo FUnny Hilary!!

I especially like the Serenity, oooooops, the SeNILity prayer!

Thanks for the laugh,

~~tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:28pm


Oh Hilary, too true and too funny. Lol. Besides the Serenity prayer, I liked this one:

**If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

~Golly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 9:57am
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one's MY favorite ~ thanks for the laugh, Hil:)

* Stel *

Avatar for iwantpeace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 11:01am
Loved it Hil!!
~~~ Mae~~~