Is it wrong...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Is it wrong...?
5
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 9:18am
Is it wrong to want to lose weight for someone else? Every one keeps telling me that it is, but it's a pretty powerful motivator. For those who read my earlier post, I have to lose weight either way because of my medical condition, but a big part of me wants to lose weight because of a guy...someone who used to like me, even at this weight, so it's not like he stopped liking me because I gained weight or something...I think time just wore it off...and you know how young chickies can be and they wanna get back what they lost---or never had in the first place---when they lose it. LOL

I don't know, what are your views on doing it for someone else? As long as it's not the sole reason for doing it. :-P

~Ri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 9:42am


Hi Ri,

Good to see you and interesting question. :)

>>Is it wrong to want to lose weight for someone else? Every one keeps telling me that it is, but it's a pretty powerful motivator.

**Jmho I think the best reason to lose weight if for yourself. But I don't think it's *wrong* to want to lose weight for someone else. To me that would be just be one of perhaps many reasons to lose weight. :)

One of the tools used to make a positive change is to write down reasons of why we want something..."why I want to quit smoking" "why I want to lose weight" and keep the list around and read it often. :) Then when temptation hits or one needs reinforcement, the list of motivations is there. And if reviewed once in awhile, even changed. :)

So if in your list of reasons is "I want to lose weight for...." it would just be another reason to help reach the goal. :) jmho ;)

~Golly





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:03am
I think if you're in a relationship with someone that is deep and devoted, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best for them. The other will notice you feel better about yourself if you look and feel healthier, which is extremely sexy. Wanting to turn heads goes along with confidence and there is nothing wrong with that whether you are in a relationship or not. What CAN be dangerous is putting all your eggs in one basket, so to speak. After losing the weight, if you don't snag the attention of this one specific person be sure to feel good enough about yourself to notice all the OTHER heads you may be turning and not fall into a pit of disappointment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:25am
You're absolutely right! I know it's going to be hard to do, but I'm going to try not to "put all my eggs in one basket" having to do with him. If what I want to happen happens, so be it. If not, then...well, I'll be disappointed, no doubt about that, but, I will try my best to not become devistated and go back to bad habits. I think I'll be happy with myself enough to realize that what I did by losing the weight was such a good thing that I won't need him like that. If he doesn't notice, it's his loss! :-P LOL

*Sigh* I think I'm gonna have to visit a "dating help" chat board after this...LOL

~Ri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:33am
I'm pretty good with dating advice...when people listen to me ;) LOL! Good luck, sweetheart! And get healthy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 7:25pm
>>what are your views on doing it for someone else? As long as it's not the sole reason for doing it

**Hi Ri,

Good to see you here again!

I don't think it's wrong per se to want to lose weight for another person ..

Keeping in mind that you also want it for yourself ..

It makes one feel good to look their best for others ..

However just remember that when you want to do something just for *you*

It is also a great motivator .. JMHO of course

HTH

~Hugs~

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