I am sooooooooooooo upset.....
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| Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:26pm |
He did his usual Sunday afternoon thing w/the dog & his buddies....offroad riding...even tho it was his birthday...which is fine..he SHOULD do what he wants on his bday.
I'm UPSET because it appears BOTH his sons forgot his bday. I am hoping those of you with guys who are 30ish can explain to me such a thoughtless, thoughtless act. IF I had not already been pissed at the youngest and his wife, who failed to inform us of the dedication/christening of Baby Anna LAST Sunday...I would have tried for a cookout last nite, gathering both guys & wives & the 2 little ones. BUT on Wednesday we received in the mail from Jimmy's church 2 pictures taken by the church photographer of the youngest, his wife, the 6 yr old and the baby...all dressed in her hand-me-down family christening gown w/cap. THAT was the nite I went and chipped hickory nuts down the street.
And now....BOTH forgot his bday. I've been stewin' all day. Finally left at 5:30 to go take Mom for a ride around her lovely neighborhood in the wheelchair. THAT was tons of fun...and we will start doing it more as it was good exercise for me, and she had a ball as I was pushing her fast!!!!
Anyhoo...I know the boys love their Dad, and he's not NEAR as upset as I am. But you understand...both incidents in one week have REALLY hurt me. Is this NORMAL for *kids* that age to forget?? I swear, I am getting both wives these lovely perpetual bday calendars from the Museum of Art that I have given my nieces & nephew once upon a time. At least my nephew e-mailed Jimmy!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! Thanks for any advice. I must put on a cheery face now as I hear the truck comin'.
* stel *

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Yes forgetfullness does seem to be the order of the day anymore
My kids not only forgot my honey's birthday but mine too this year--and they missed mother's day and father's day as usual. I guess their lives are so busy (especially those with families of their own). Actually I keep THEIR birthdays on track thru FTD reminders or I would forget too!!!
I know it is irritating but it seems to be a fact of life--I don't let it bother me anymore--isn't worth it....that said
Commiserations I know how you feel
Barb
Awww {{Stel}}
Well my guys are 30ish. The oldest has always been so good about remembering. The youngest not so good. He was in his early 20s before he learned it and I really laid it on him including the fact that if he felt that way, I just might forget HIS!
Haven't had a problem in about 8 years. ;)
I'm so sorry. When you get a chance to cool down, do talk with each of them privately (together if you want/can or separately (without dh around) and tell them how disappointed you were that they forgot and that while Dad may say he wasn't upset about it he couldn't help but be hurt. Also tell them that you EXPECT them to remember (that they can put it on their computer calender)!
You go ahead and let it all go right now and enjoy Jimmy.
~Golly
I think the guys really just plain old forget. . . I don't think it's a personal statement or anything like that.
Do give the guys a chance tho - - one time we got kind of upset, and turns out next day got a wonderful card and letter and phone call. This IS Sunday, maybe a card is coming tomorrow...?
You are such a good daughter - - I bet your Mom loved that trip around the neighborhood. And, it's getting SO Nice out in the evenings...
Try not to let what happened with the boys bother you.....sometimes I know that "I" am more sensitive to the guy's lack of attention than Mike is....but, I think mostly we just don't want our guys to have their feelings hurt cause we love 'em bunches.
xoxo,
tracy
So sorry to hear this hon .. I do agree with you though ..
They should have remembered .. especially at their age No excuses!
Guess you'll have to tell them about it next time you talk with them ..
Let them know how hurt he was even if he said he wasn't really
Wonder how they would feel if you or Jimmy forgot theirs .. not happy would be my guess.
Hope you feel better now that you've let it out here ..
BTW .. good for you on getting out with your Mom ..
Sounds like a great thing for you both ..
~Hugs~
>>but, I think mostly we just don't want our guys to have their feelings hurt cause we love 'em bunches.
**you got it there. :) But also reminded me, dh was known to call youngest and remind him about mine.
~Golly
You are a good daughter. Bet your Mum loved her walk like you said and I can just picture the two of you zipping around the block at great speed. See ya buddy. Hil
I just KNEW there were those of you who could advise me on this *son* thing.
It's REALLY hard bein' a *step-mom*, even after 15 yrs of being married to their Dad.
I can't 'spout off' to them, like I can to my nieces & nephew, who are in the same age range. I still have to 'tippy-toe' arond things...ya know.
Oldest DID call about 9:00, saying he knew Jimmy would be in the woods so was waiting to call. The youngest, who ALSO forgot to tell us about the christening....well, I don't know what to do. DH DID speak with both him AND his wife to let them know how hurt he was to have found out about the christening via pictures from the church!!! He did NOT do this in an angry tone at all, just wanted them to understand that if we were to be *active* grandparents, we needed to be advised of what was happening in the girls' lives. They both said they had no idea the 'dedication' at the church (a Baptist thing) was a big deal.....I STILL find that hard to believe(:
Yet it amazes me how they both can call when oldest needs help with doggie sitting, or youngest needs handyman advice, or just recently coaching advice. Geez!
But I know you gals would understand, and....I guess it IS just a guy thing.
I feel tons better after reading your posts.
Oh, and as far as my Mom goes, she CAN walk...just fine most of the time, with a cane...albeit very slowly. So the wheelchair was just for fun ~ so I could get exercise, and she could just enjoy:) Just makes it easier, too. My big sis took her 2 yr old grandson and met Mom's sitter & Mom at the zoo Saturday morning. Its for things like that that the wheelchair is most handy:)
Again, thanks to all of you for your input. It helps tremendously. Have a great week!
* stel *
* Stel *
It is true and sad that when they *want* something, they call with certain expectations ..
Funny how that works .. although not really ..
Good to hear oldest did call .. Something about that youngest :::sigh:::
We call it *birth order* here making for two very different kids, LOL
Have a great day hon :)
~Hugs~
But you know, I also think it's an age/stage transition thing. They have been very used to being taken care of all their lives and it's like it takes a dash of cold water to wake them up that that is changing. And for us too.
Oh my I need some more coffee and tissues-boy is it allergy time here! Byeee. ;)
Have a good one Stel. :)
~Golly
Edited 9/15/2003 8:13:02 AM ET by cl-ibgollyg
"Mel on Wheels"
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