Got FURIOUS last nite....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Got FURIOUS last nite....
10
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 8:27am
After waiting almost 1 hour late for my sons football practice to let out..with food in the car -now stoned cold.I got mad.Finally my son comes out--he says they were waiting for a play-book.So we get in the car--then 1/2 way home he tells me he didnt get his game jersey.SOO..we go back I wait 20 MORE minutes.he comes out STILL w/ no jersey.He said the line was too longand he didnt care-he was hungry and he was just gonna quit the team. I went ballistic..I screamed that he go "back in there ang get his jersey'. He said "NO!"He doesnt play anyway-he is like 3rd string.He is tired of all the practice--he wants to be 1st string over-nite.My lord -its his first high school year!Then when we get home he tells me he needs a copy of his Birth certificate by the morning.Ugh.I had had it. so I have to go out and make a copy. I was exhausted from the nite prior,and pissed..anyway I smoked 2 cigs I got from my neighbor.I find I mostly slip when I am mad and over-tired. I dont feel good about it at all. But It was a slip--THATS ALL!!It did calm me down-temporarily..but thats NOT the way to do it.Gotta kick myself in the butt and just keep trying.Ok-I feel better..I needed to vent and confess!!My sins are forgiven??? xoxomel

"Mel on Wheels"    

Avatar for kiggidyk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 8:54am
of course forgiven. here's to learning and becoming stronger the next time you're extra-tired..

HUGS

kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 8:58am
Hey, Mo....OF COURSE it was just a slip...and OF COURSE you are forgiven:)

What you said brought to mind something I remember from way back..maybe you should write this up in Magic Marker somewhere (hey, not being critical..applies to me as well!!!)

TRIGGERS....H.A.L.T. = don't let yourself *be* any of these 4 or Nic will BITE you!!!!

H = Hungry

A = Angry

L = Lonely

T = Tired

* stel *

* Stel *

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 9:40am


Hi Mel,

Aww hon, wish you'd gotten that nap in. Your description of all that so brought back some of the fun stuff of those teen years. ;)

Now don't kick yourself (we're too fond of you ;))and hope your vent made you feel better. The main thing is to learn from it and prepare (think: deep breathing, slogans like "this too shall pass," having water and a straw/gum around) so next time you'll find a better route to ease the tension and anger.

Hope today is a much better day and onward to counting those nic free hours. :)

~Golly

Avatar for capwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 10:23am
Of course we forgive you but more important you must forgive yourself. No beating yourself up over this, ok? Move on and try again. A similar thing happened to me with my yougest ds while I was trying to quit smoking in the late 80s. I can remember how badly I felt I needed that ciggy after dealing with him and so I fell off that wagon and had one. But eventually I did quit. You will, too.

Hugs, Cappy

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Avatar for iwantpeace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 10:26am
Why of course you're forgiven...and the best part is you're right back on the wagon!!

~~~ Mae~~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 11:15am
Mel - that was my hardest thing to deal with: anger.

At that moment, I just felt like So what! I remember a time I actually had one in my hand and just pretended to smoke it - - I never lit it.

For ME - - when I did get really mad about something, I jumped on the treadmill and walked a mile a minute OR went outside and pruned bushes!! IN DECEMBER!!!

I can handle it pretty much now, but I still want one when I am really mad or upset about something. And that's when I do my "pretend" smoke - - sitting and doing the smoke-inhale thing-y WITHOUT a cig tho!

You'll get it - - I think you are incredible!! You have so much going on and you are in control MOST of the time!! I think you are great Mel!! You'll find what works for you.

ODAT,

tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 4:11pm
I was definatly angry and tired! The lonely would never apply to me--I crave being alone!And the hunger one doesnt apply--I DO eat!!There should be one more--a D for drinking!!xoxoxomo

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 4:14pm
"this too shall pass"..I need to remember THAT!!! xoxomel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 4:17pm
it doesnt matter WHAT decade it is.Teenagers can be a pain!! mel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 4:21pm
I do the "fake smoking"too!!My kids laff at me--BRATS!Ty for your kind words..but I have slipped so much- unlike you--MAN,when you QUIT YOU QUIT!!!!xoxomel

"Mel on Wheels"