I SMoked.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I SMoked.....
15
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 10:48am

I smoked.  I took 3 puffs. 


I had been just going crazy.  It has been a constant obsession this thinking about smoking.  Nothing would get it out of my mind. . . even when I was working out all I wanted was a cig. 


So, this morning, I just decided to try a cigarette in the hopes that it would make me remember WHY I quit.  That is so stupid and Really Risky, , but it worked.  I do NOT recommend anyone ever try this.  It could easily backfire. . . but, it worked for me. 


We have had a dead pack of old Merits in the kitchen drawer since last Nov 8.  There are maybe 5 or 6 in there, I don't even know.  Anyhow, I've NEVER touched them other than once I took one out and just held it.  Well, I took them out to the sun-room and lit one.  I almost died choking....it was so horrible and it made me feel like I was going to be sick to my stomach.  I took 3 puffs total and crushed it out.  This was NOT any fun at ALL.   A big cloud of smoke was hanging ominously in the sunshine...it stunk....it was just downright disgusting. 


I am so happy.  This is what "I" needed to do.  I had been romancing that smoke for 11 months.  I think this worked for me because it was like I never smoked and had the same feeling that one has when they first start smoking - - feeling woozy and really not liking it....and I realized I had to Try to smoke before...this is NOT something that just comes naturally.  Smoking, or getting to LIKE smoking, is a job. 


SO, Not to worry. . . I am NOT a smoker any more.  Again, I think this ONLY worked because it has been almost 11 months Since I smoked.  Had I tried this say a month into a quit - - no way. . . and I do NOT advocate doing this as it was very risky. . . but I think it has really worked for me.  I can FINALLY throw away that old pack. 


ODAT~~tracy


 



 


 




Edited 10/4/2003 10:52:33 AM ET by stracy1

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 11:05am

Wow Tracy ..
At first I thought you were jnot serious .. As I read on, I saw you were ..
I think that is good you found out that smoking is something you *choose* not to do ..
Like you say, this worked for *you* ..
Good for you on finding out now ..
As I know you are one very strong lady with lots of class
Thanks for letting us know hon .. glad you are back on track ..
Sometimes we do need to *test* those waters and find out it isn't what we wanted anyway!
How exciting that you are headed towards your one year smokefree anniversary .. very soon :)

          Click & Join the fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 1:03pm

Oh Gosh Tracy,
I had to think a little on this and while I was thinking, windows decided to update me.
Like Hugs, I sort of thought you were joking and opened your post

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 2:28pm
YAY for you you did it you are NOT a smoker!!!you even said so yourself. Throw them away and celebrate your free from nasty ol'nic. Hope the door hit him in the butt on the way out:P ~Mary~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2002
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 3:30pm
NOT FUNNY Tracy. I actually didn't breathe waiting for this to open. Wow, am glad you hated it. That was one hec of a risk you took but I can see where you were coming from. Be careful though, seriously. The desire to smoke is an insidious habit. Relieved. Hilary
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 3:51pm

Guys I just want to thank you for understanding.


It had just gotten to the point where I needed to know that I Really did Not want to smoke anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 5:49pm

>>Have to let her know I'm no angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 7:06pm

Stel's gonna die that she missed my fall off the wagon!(lol)

          Click & Join the fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 9:47pm
WOW!! I cant believe it! I thought you were kidding!!But It is important that you know that you HATE smoking..I guess you needed a little test."Romancing the Smoke",,cool--i ca relate-ALL TOO WELL!!!!been there done that..TRACY..we are all SO proud of you--You have been a ROCK! And a constant in this journey for so many of us..I was beginning to think you werent HUMAN!!!LO!! HEY--you did good..and I am glad it sucked.I still have you on a pedestal!!! xoxoxoxo ODAT FOREVER---Mel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 12:29pm
>>(lol) - - Stel's gonna die that she missed my fall off the wagon!(lol) Have to let her know I'm no angel after all!(lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I didn't miss it by much, my Dear:)

Tracy, we have talked together soooooo much about this.....I personally think you did

exactly the right thing. NOW YOU KNOW ~~ and the *romancing* is over for you. Like

you said, it wasn't the panacea you thought it would be.

Now you know you don't NEED cigs, nor do you WANT cigs...and it only took 3 puffs

to make your realize this. That is TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!

Its exactly why I can slip, but not fall. A couple of puffs, and YUCK! I, too,

remember that I don't want to go back...despite the 'hell' I put myself thru with

the patches & nic gum.

You are and always will be an angel to me:) You have boosted my self-confidence so

many times by reminding me that I am STRONG, when I feel like a WIMP. And I will

never be able to thank you enough:)

Now that you have 'tested' the waters, and rode out that ~crave wave~, its nothin'

but SMOOTH sailing for you now until November 8. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

xoxo stel

* Stel *

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: stracy1
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 12:41pm
          Click & Join the fun!

Pages