I SMoked.....
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| Sat, 10-04-2003 - 10:48am |
I smoked. I took 3 puffs.
I had been just going crazy. It has been a constant obsession this thinking about smoking. Nothing would get it out of my mind. . . even when I was working out all I wanted was a cig.
So, this morning, I just decided to try a cigarette in the hopes that it would make me remember WHY I quit. That is so stupid and Really Risky, , but it worked. I do NOT recommend anyone ever try this. It could easily backfire. . . but, it worked for me.
We have had a dead pack of old Merits in the kitchen drawer since last Nov 8. There are maybe 5 or 6 in there, I don't even know. Anyhow, I've NEVER touched them other than once I took one out and just held it. Well, I took them out to the sun-room and lit one. I almost died choking....it was so horrible and it made me feel like I was going to be sick to my stomach. I took 3 puffs total and crushed it out. This was NOT any fun at ALL. A big cloud of smoke was hanging ominously in the sunshine...it stunk....it was just downright disgusting.
I am so happy. This is what "I" needed to do. I had been romancing that smoke for 11 months. I think this worked for me because it was like I never smoked and had the same feeling that one has when they first start smoking - - feeling woozy and really not liking it....and I realized I had to Try to smoke before...this is NOT something that just comes naturally. Smoking, or getting to LIKE smoking, is a job.
SO, Not to worry. . . I am NOT a smoker any more. Again, I think this ONLY worked because it has been almost 11 months Since I smoked. Had I tried this say a month into a quit - - no way. . . and I do NOT advocate doing this as it was very risky. . . but I think it has really worked for me. I can FINALLY throw away that old pack.
ODAT~~tracy
Edited 10/4/2003 10:52:33 AM ET by stracy1

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GET ME OFF THAT PEDESTAL!!!!!!!
Wow Tracy~
I quit smoking like 4 years ago & I had that urge to start up again about a year ago. I bought a whole pack of cigs & tried to smoke one & I had the same reaction. It was *awful*!!!!
Way to go sister!! I'm glad that dose of reality worked for you...
Much love,

~DJ~
Aw Stel - - - at first I really felt like I let YOU down.
Aw Thanks DJ.
Thanks Tracy~
I was into the cool-college-kid-smoking & was never really *hooked*.......
I could make a pack of cigs last for about 2-3 weeks (and that was ultra lights)......
But I did get to a point when I was smoking regularly, but it never felt right & I was glad that I met DH when I did because he hated smoking & it made it that much easier for me to quit! ;o)
You go girl!!!
Much love,

~DJ~
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