A Year Ago Today........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
A Year Ago Today........
27
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 7:09am
.....my best friend of 30+ years died from a rare form of lung cancer. She was my inspiration to seriously try my darndest to quit smoking. She only lived 8 months

after her dx.

The last 6 days of her life were spent in the hospital with a complete breathing mask.

I visited with her twice during that time, not counting the last time when she had

slipped into a coma.

I tell myself to NEVER forget how she looked lying in that bed, having to use

the mask to breathe, even tho she hated it so. She was my touchstone, and is now

my inspiration to wake up each morning and be happy I am alive...and NOT coughing.

I may slip with the cigs, from time to time, but I no longer have that terrible cough

that we BOTH had. She was a smoker, too.

A year ago today, I will also consider my anniversary for *meeting* Hugs & Golly.

You see, Mel was staying with me, and she's the one that taught me about all this

board *stuff*. I am grateful and feel truly blessed to have met so many wonderful

folks over the course of this year, and hope to maintain some of the friendships

for a long, long time.

Much love and enjoy your day:)

* stel *


Edited 10/10/2003 7:18:10 AM ET by stel2002

* Stel *

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 4:33pm
Guess this is MY day to try to 'crystalize' (is that what Golly said to Judie?) some thoughts. It's been a good day, despite some tears, so far. I got up early, and made a small picture album from the thousands of pics some of you know was my task to put together in albums after her death.

Her Mom had asked that Jimmy meet her at Sal's house this morning for a couple of handy-man jobs. I took the album (just 36 pics, but good ones), and went to visit the Mom while dh worked. We were there about 3 hrs. And I think it was the very best thing I could have done today ~~ keeping her Mom company while dh did his thing. (Sal's dh is NOT good mechanically )

It was a very rainy morning from 5:00 on...but as we left around 2:00, the rain had stopped, and when we walked out the door, the sun peeked through the clouds.

Golly, I'm like you in that I believe Sally is looking down on her family (2 teens & dh) & those closest she left behind. And so, I believe the sun coming out was her *sign* that she was happy we had helped out around her home and kept her Mom company. It made me feel good ~ just like Mr. Bill's poem:)

So...right now I am smiling, and will shortly go out on the deck and 'throw back' a few, in her memory. She would like that:)

Thanks again for being here for me. Stel

* Stel *

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 5:51pm
AWW,Stel,I know how you feel.I was there,too.I will never forget when you got "the call"..you just looked at me and Michelle and said" She's Gone".Then we all breathed a sigh of both relief and pain. I cannot believe its been a year,already..But it has been the longest year for John and the kids..God Bless them.I am so glad I got you to the board--but after THAT YOU did ALL the HARD work.It it strange that out of such a tragedy that some good came out of it-and new friends were made...I wish I had our Linda Ronstadt CD.. "good-bye Old friend".Man did that song make us cry that night--but we needed it.On a weird note TODAY Mark (Julie's widower) dropped off the Rolex watch she had requested I have when she died.It STOPPED ticking when she got sick--then started again after she died.Thank God I am NOT supersticious..well MAYBE a little.( Julie was my best friend here in Tampa who died in march this year--Sally was a life-long friend of mine and Stella's best friend who died this day last year--they both had lung cancer).And My Mom moved today..so october 10th is a day to remember in many ways for me.I wish I could give you a BIG HUG Stella.I will light candles to nite..xoxoxox your friend till the end..Groover..

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 6:16pm
Thanks Bill,that was really great..xoxo mel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 6:21pm
Awww {{{Stel}}}
I saw this post this morming but decided not to reply til I had more time
Today I am sure hold many emotions for you.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 6:24pm
What a beautiful and loving way to spend the day .. Gives me chills.
I don't think you could have spent it any better doing anything else :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 8:48pm
YES Hilary-Sally was THE BEST!!I dont thinlk you were around when I was posting last year w/ Hugs& Golly about "my dying friend"at THAT time Stel wasnt a "poster"..I turned her on to our old board.Anyhow,Sally,she was both a good friend to me but a GREAT friend to Stella and my sister.Sally could just light up a room.I was at the funeral w/ Stella--actually I spent 5 days w/ Stel and Jimmy.LOTS of laughter and tears.It was so sad but a relief to see her "let go".Sally is the reason Stell stopped smoking--She is her ANGEL!!I have been blue all day--I wish I could give Stella a BIG HUG!!!!! xoxoMel

"Mel on Wheels"    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 8:59pm
>>> wish I could give you a BIG HUG Stella.I will light candles to nite..xoxoxox your friend till the end..Groover..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awwwwww, Groover, I'm just soooooo glad you & Michelle were here with me:) We gave her the bestest 3 nite wake any gal could ask for!!!

Jimmy just came in & saw MY candles lit, as I had my own private concert of "our" songs, and just shook his head:) Heck, I NEVER get to listen to *my* music. And besides, for the sake of the board, it was good exercise.....dancin' around. And God knows, I can't sing worth a flip. But whoever is still here with us on this, Mel is THE BEST singer!!

Anyhoo, if I do this right, I had to look up GOODBYE MY FRIEND on google, to get all the words. I can't believe it was written by Karla Bonoff!!! She is great, too...I have one of her CDs....actually, probably her ONLY CD:)

Here it is, and am glad you saw this. xoxoxoxoxoxo stel

Can't do the link....here are the words....GREAT SONG for tonite, too:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodbye My Friend

written by Karla Bonoff

recorded by Linda Rondstadt

on the album "Cry Like a Rainstorm, Howl Like the Wind"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh we never know where life will take us

I know it's just a ride on the wheel.

And we never know when death will shake us

And we wonder how it will feel.

So goodbye my friend

I know I'll never see you again

But the time together through all the years

Will take away these tears

It's okay now...

Goodbye my friend.

I see a lot of things that make me crazy

And I guess I held on to you

I could've run away and left

Well, maybe...

But it wasn't time, we both knew

So goodbye, my friend

I know I'll never see you again

But the love you gave me through all the years

Will take away these tears

It's okay now...

Goodbye my friend

Life's so fragile and love's so pure

We can't hold on but we try

We watch how quickly it disappears

And we never know why

But I'm okay now

Goodbye my friend.

I can go now

Goodbye my friend.


















* Stel *

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 9:14pm
>>love you bunches :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DITTO, my friend. Even tho I haven't been TOTALLY successful w/my quit, I could

NEVER, EVER have made it this far without you. I HOPE Sally is proud.

I really and truly BELIEVE that sunshine when we left her house was a *sign.*

It went away fairly quickly, and never shone again.

As a postcript to anyone who is still following this thread , Sal's dh called me

late this afternoon to tell me their daughter had made the basketball team at her

middle school. She's played league ball for years, but as you've learned from Mel,

playing for the school is totally different. So......I KNOW Sal is sooo proud, and

for her ds, I am so thankful she had something to be HAPPY about today:)

Thanks for being you, Hugs........xoxoxoxo Stel

* stel *

* Stel *

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 10:02pm

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Fri, 10-10-2003 - 10:08pm

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