* HUMP DAY HUMOR FOR YA *

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
* HUMP DAY HUMOR FOR YA *
6
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 6:55am

Turkey Poem

When I was a young turkey,
new  to the coop,
My big brother Tom
took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat  me down,
and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was
something  that I just had to know.

His look and his tone
I will always  remember,
When he told me of the horrors
of, well...... Black  November!
Come about August,
now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six  meals
instead of your three.
And soon you'll be thick,
where once you  were thin,
and you'll grow a big rubbery
thing under your chin;

And  then one morning,
when you're warm in your bed,
In comes the farmer's  wife,
to hack off your head;
Then she'll pluck out all your
feathers  until you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out your insides
and leave you in the  sink;
And then comes the worst part
he said not bluffing,
She'll spread  your hind quarters
and pack your bottom with stuffing!

Well, the rest  of his words
were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a
winged  piece of meat,
And decided on the spot
that to avoid being cooked,
I'd  have to lay low to
remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of
nuts and  granola,
High-roughage salads,
juice and diet cola;
And as they ate  pastries,
chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room
doing Jane Fonda  tapes.

I maintained my weight
of two pounds and a half,
And tried  not to notice when
the bigger birds laughed;
But it was I who  was
laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they
chewed, ever  closer to death.
And sure enough when
Black November rolled around,
I  was the last turkey left in
the Turkey compound;

So now I'm a pet in  the
farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry,
so I eat and I nap.
She  held me today,
while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and  said
"Christmas is  coming"

 Peace, Stel      Eat fish - Click image to download.  
            


 

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Avatar for kiggidyk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 8:14am
that was a cute one!

kim :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 8:58am
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 10:17am
That was cute Stel ..
Love to see this kind of stuff ..
Thanks for the chuckle :)

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Avatar for capwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 10:37am

Love it Stel! I borrowed it to share with friends.


~Cappy~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 10:51am

Love it STel!!


I'm going to steal this too!(lol)


Thanks for our Hump Humor!


~t


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2002
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 12:21pm
Thanks Stel, who said turkeys were stupid! HA! Hil