Loss of Hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Loss of Hope
11
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:01pm
I went to Gay Pride this weekend with my friend and I think that I loss all hope of ever finding someone. I am a femme lesbian and I am looking to find another Femme like me. Anyhoo, we went to Gay Pride and boy was I dissapointed. All I saw were butch women (no offense to women who are butch). I have been single for 8 months now, and after going to Gay Pride I have a feeling that I will be single for a long time probably. Where are the femme girls? How can you tell that they are gay or bi???? Is there hope for me? Im so sad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 1:36pm
Hey, don’t lose hope.

I would suggest stop looking but keep your eyes open.

Did you even enjoy a moment of your time at the pride parade? Did you laughed with your friend and find an interesting float to talk about with your friend? Was your conversation so entertaining and interesting a total stranger join in with a smile even for a second or two? There’s a world of lesbian fem out there. They’re also looking for an interesting fun person. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 2:31pm
Dont get me wrong my friend and I had a blast. Actually the friend I went with is straight and never has been to Gay Pride, everyone thought that we were both straight and we got asked that a few times. The problem I think I have is that I tend to like straight girls (including the friend I went to pride with) I think Im attracted to straight girls because they are FEMME I dont know what to do to be honest with you.
Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 3:25pm

Hi there!


What about not looking for a femme or a butch and just looking for a person to be with?

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 3:55pm
Hmmm... not sure how old you are or how much exposure you have to the "gay world" but, there are a HUGE number of femmes around. In fact, one stat showed there are AT LEAST twice as many femmes as there are butches -- and that doesn't take into consideration all the women who consider themselves neither (or fence sitters - heh).

When at a Pride event, it's OK to assume that most people there are gay. My question to you is why weren't you wearing something that showed that you are? There are tshirts, necklaces, bracelets, pins, caps, earrings, etc etc etc. If you don't want to wear something like that normally... you should be able to get away with it at a Pride event. Just a thought.

OH... And, don't take offense when someone advises you to relax and enjoy yourself. The most important people that come into your life will do it when you are least expecting -- and NOT looking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 6:39pm
I agree with what Eastie, Caly, and jenny have said...

Sometimes we try so hard we miss everything, as in the old "can't see the forest for the trees" line. I've met all manner of dykes, an rainbow doesn't begin to do this spectrum justice. Best advice I can offer is to be you, to be confident someone will love you, and will be a great match, and be patient... we have a habit of stumbling into these things. I did last summer and got myself into a crazy situation, but still the ties for a time were tighter than any ever in my life, and btw... she was very femme with a spirit that was both femme and butch. There is just so much uniqueness out there, and your perfect package exists, you just haven't met yet.

*hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:46pm

Hi meatheadnhawaii.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 10:15pm
Well put Caly. I could not have said it better.
Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 7:42am
Thank you Buterfli!

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 8:10am

(((((((((Hugs meathead))))))))) I think the others gave you some great insight and advice.


Hugs!


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:31am
I say don’t do anything. Be friends with the straights of the world and falling for one is asking for wasted time on your hands. It is a learning experience that might be bittersweet. How wide is your circle of friends within the gay community? Are you transferring this emotion to your straight friends because of limited availability of lesbians around you?

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