Would appreciate your input.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Would appreciate your input.....
14
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 7:58pm
Please give your opinion if I should legally pursue my share:

Over three years ago my ex and I moved to Redding due to her employment transfer. We purchased a home in her name only since I was not employed as yet. A few months later we refinanced and added me to the loan and property.

We refinanced again last year removing my name so that I could actually process the paperwork myself since that is what I do, mortgage loan processing. We never added me back. During the three years we have owned property it appreciated almost $100,000. Gotta love California.

When I left her last month she informed me that I was not entitled to any of the equity because my name isn't on the property and the house payments have always been made out of her bank account (the only payment made out of her bank account).

I made the payments on the majority of the purchases, including the new Trailblazer, that was in her name only and I did not take with me. My car had been "sold" to her son but no payments were ever received.

I will be fine without getting any of the equity but feel I should get something for the money I put in. She did make about twice as much as me but did not spend as much of her income on our joint responsibilities as I did. I left with one futon couch and a TV I had won. Surely at almost $30,000 a year I would have had more had I been single.

The attorneys I have contacted want large retainers and I am leery of putting out that type of money without some idea if I can recover it since moving and purchasing a car and furniture (thank goodness for good credit) has placed me in debt (granted, not a lot but more than I want).

I am not considering this for some kind of revenge. I have no animosity towards her. Leaving was my choice. I just feel like I paid into the place, I should have something to show for it. Even a portion so that I can be where I would have been had I not put all of my income into our joint efforts.

Thank you for any insights you care to provide.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 8:56pm

Well, Redding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 9:18pm
How much did you put in initially?

I agree with Pam, expensive lesson, though it could be a mess to sort. Laws there are so different than here... we have homesteading laws that might play a role here.

I would think you are entitled to the value of your car, or the car back, and if you have records of having contributed to a down payment on the home, records of your name on a previous mortgage, and records of the car payments you made, you have evidence on your side. You might be able to have a lien placed on the property, and that way if she sells you get some of it.

I would think an attorney would talk with you first and give you some idea before you commit to paying a retainer. If they think it iffy, maybe go for what seems likely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 9:27pm

>I would think an attorney would talk with you first and give you some idea before you commit to paying a retainer. If they think it iffy, maybe go for what seems likely.


Absolutely Raye.

Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 8:53am

Wow that "ToS" big time!


Unfortunately I have to say since you took your name off the house Im not sure how expensive it would be to fight it... I would think that if you did go to court and you brought in records showing that at one time you did co own the house and you did put money into it that you are entitled to something..


However the thing to weigh is whether the cost of Lawyer is going to be more then the money you might recieve out of all of this. I know that what happened to me and my divorce so fortunately we were able to settle out of court.


Im really sorry this happened sweetie and I wish I knew more what to say.


Sending lots of support and Hugs !

*hugs ~ Caly


"They might not need me; but they might.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 9:54am
Thank you for your input.

I am less concerned about my financial loss than I am about how I would look at things in a future relationship. I agreed to things in my last relationship based on trust and believing we had the same values and plans for the future. It will be a long time, if ever, before I will trust that way again, and I am not just talking about finances.

It saddens me when people hurt each other but you are correct there are two sides to every story and I am sure she is unable to understand my leaving her or she would never have behaved as she did in the first place. Course, there is my part in all of it and I am trying to keep that in mind as I weave my way through my future trying not to make the same mistakes, but for the right reasons, not out of hurt.

Thanks again for your input. It really helps to have other's views.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 10:02am
Of course I have records. I am an anal Capricorn. I can prove all of it and have her family members, that if honest (and I believe they would be as we love each other) would testify as to our verbal agreements and intentions.

I have recently become friends with a paralegal and she has agreed to assist me in how to find an attorney I feel will work with me honestly and that I am comfortable with. That should make my decision to pursue or not a lot easier.

Thank you for your input. As I told Pam, it is so nice to have others thoughts when having to make a decision.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 1:09pm
I would very calmly sit down with her and try to get her to understand that it would be financially nuts for BOTH of you to take it to court. Maybe suggest a 70/30 split that would satisfy you and maybe make her feel compensated in some way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 3:10pm

I like Jaydi's idea of having you sit down with her and show her that it would be financially nuts for either of you to have to drag this through court.


It's very sad to know that we can fall deeply in love with someone and end up having that love and trust betrayed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 4:18pm
It is, and wish you well... I'm with you in just wanting to be fair about these things... and likely I'd walk from much, but that is just a bit too much.

*hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 5:35pm
Leaving your name off the house pretty much means you are screwed unless you have receits of checks or payments in your name that you can produce. If everything was in her name then I am afraid you will have little recourse. Some states however have domestic partner laws where established relationships are entitiled to half and half, if you are in one of those states you may have a shot at getting some of what you contributed, if you do not live in one of those states I would think money to an attorney might be wasted.

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