When Push Comes to Shove

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
When Push Comes to Shove
20
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 9:40pm
I just want to type that right now I feel very low. So, please no "I told you so's," Or "You didn't handle that situation properly." I'm not ready right now for constructive critism.

Thanks.

I've had a terrible day.

I don't a lot of time to go into tremendous detail here. But, to make a LONG story short. I have this one class where the instructor is a complete smartie. He assigns only group assignments. Well, I have this group that seems to want me to do all the work. At first, I thought, "Okay, I'll do the work, because I need a good grade, and usually there aren't very many group assignments." WRONG. This guy, I think is trying to get out of work. So, he assigns only group assignments and has the students to grade one another.

I had a couple of words with him before July 4th break. He gave me this, "In the real world, this is the way it works." I told him I wanted some sort of rules to follow and know what to do if the group didn't work well together, so I could assure myself that I do what is necessary to get a decent grade. You know what his answer is, "What would you do if this were a business and your job?"

I personally think this is insane.

I sent an email to him describing that if this were a job I wouldn't be doing everyone's work while they did very little. I also commented on a few other things. I CC this email to my academic advisor, the dean, and the department head.

I'VE HAD IT!

All I want to do is get a degree and move out of nowhere, NC. I'm willing to work hard. But, I'm not willing to kill myself trying to do everyone's work! I've already gotten the next group assignment done. Yeah, already. Did you know that no one in my group has even lifted a finger. I'm getting it ready tomorrow after work and turning it in. Guess what? On Sunday, I'm relaxing, instead of spending half the day rewriting little paragraphs and finishing a layout for group members who aren't doing their part!!!

You know, I didn't know what else to do here. I'm so frustrated. I just want my life to change so badly. You don't know how badly. If this guy messes it up for me, I'm going to be very sad for a very long time.

I just feel like there's not much to wake up for. But, I know I have to get out of bed tommorow.

Thanks for listening.

Bug

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 9:47pm
BTW...I forgot to add... I was called "Sir" tonight at school. LOL It caught me off guard and I replied, "Huh?" The older lady said, "Sir, I could not understand you."

OMG

Welcome to the Foothills of the Carolinas

Bug

p.s.- Why did I email? Because I wanted to nip this thing in the bud quickly. I had a night class tonight. And, I planned on doing my own work and handing it in before Friday.


Edited 7/7/2004 9:47 pm ET ET by obi_wan_kenobi_jedi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 10:07pm
((((((((Bug)))))))))..
I understand..I know that feeling about getting up and out of the bed and going onward with what has to be done..
E-mail me any time ..
Hang in there.. You are Worth it!.."CAT"

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 10:40pm
Nope you wont get any 'I told you so' out of me, BUT I do have to say this.

College is HARD. Its hard as hell. You will run into many people who make you wonder 'How the HELL did you become a professor' - you will run into Professors that make you want to beat them to a pulp due to them being cocky, obnoxious, due to them favoring some girl with bigger boobs than you - due to WHATEVER. Its not easy.

Sometimes you just have to chuck it up and deal. Sometimes life isnt fair but we still have to do what we have to do. Keep in mind you have a goal here. Make it happen because noone else is going to make it happen for you. Yes, you still have to get out of bed tomorrow morning, we All do. Life aint easy, whoever says it is is a big fat liar.

Be greatful for what you have - LIFE - You have the opportunity to breathe, to experience life and love all the good things with the bad - There are people in WAY worse situations than you are that dont have their health and pray for just another day to love and be loved and just be with the people that matter to them.

Not everything has to wreck your world. Sometimes you just have to deal.

Sorry if it seems harsh to you, but its the truth.

Keep your chin up and keep on truckin Bug.

Alisha

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 12:27am
Oh, my gosh, Bug, group projects are so-ooo my pet peeve. God forbid a teacher who assigns one to my child and won't allow him to do the project on his own.

You tell that teacher of yours that group projects in school have absolutley NO relationship to the "real world," UNLESS they are done entirely in the class. First of all, there's always someone "in charge" of overseeing any project in a business environment and secondly there are consequences if you don't perform... you're fired. In a school situation the person who does nothing gets the same grade as the highest achiever. I've had 3 kids that have gone through group projects and I have so many nightmares that it makes me nuts. Including one mom who dropped her kid off to work on a group project with a younger sibling for ME to babysit. I didn't even know her...

Once when I complained to the district they told me it came about based on the "team" philosophy of the Japanese. Bull... I've worked for a Japanese company before and there's no way someone ends up doing 90% of the work while the others in the group slide. The motivation level, intelligence, achievement level, creativity, etc. varies so greatly among the participants in a school group; whereas, participants are more evenly matched in a work environment.

I sympathize, and good for you for writing the email. In the future, I'd ask if you can do a project on your own.

Okay... off my soap box.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 1:14am
((((((((((((( Bug )))))))))))))

I am proud of you for sending the e-mail !

You hang in there hunny, school is tuff but you are tougher !

Many hugs and a big bag of chocolate,


"Kitty Cat Rules"
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:51am
You did exactly what I was asking everyone not to do. That really hurts me right now. You have no idea what is going on. I wasn't able explain everything.

Your post was what I really didn't need. It really hurts.

:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:52am
Thanks CAT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:56am
Yes, group projects are hard. What is harder are group projects in online classes. I have a group in my campus class, but it isn't hard, because the instructor has made a point that he is watching who is doing the work. So, you aren't left "holding the bag," so to speak.

In this online class, I was left holding the bag. And, I had to wait on everyone to do their little bit of work, so I could arrange the paper to turn it in. This would push me working late on Sunday. By Monday, I would be so tired, it was hard to do my own real paying job. If I do the group project myself, I have it done quicker. That's why I'm turning in my own work this afternoon. I don't feel like working all day Sunday.

Better go.




Edited 7/8/2004 6:58 am ET ET by obi_wan_kenobi_jedi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:56am
Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 7:07am
You know, perhaps you are right. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to do college. After all, I wasn't the college type to begin with. Growing up, I wasn't the smart kid. Perhaps college is too tough for me.

Maybe I should just accept smalltown NC. Maybe I shouldn't want for more. Be happy with what I have. Accept what I have.

As the old saying goes, "This is as good as it gets."

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