Help... Please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2001
Help... Please!
21
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 8:31pm

Well, I knew it would happen sooner or later... Yesterday my 10½ year old niece found

~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 8:45pm
{{{{{{{{Ginny}}}}}}}}

I'm about to get struck by lightning, the forces of darkness are gathering outside my window!

Have you talked with her mom? It might be nice to chat with her about it, she might be able to help you frame it in a way your niece can relate to. Kids are usually pretty accepting, my daughter was very accepting of another board member at that point.

You want to answer questions honestly, usually simply leaving it as loving someone is good enough, kids relate well to love, no matter who is loving.

As for books, check pflag's website for recommendations... I'm certain they have something on it. Can't help you with the rainbow explanation, being completely and totally ignorant...

this is a nice lesson for her, and your taking time to get it right is a good indication the two of you have a good relationship. Having an aunt that is also a kewl friend is priceless to a kid (gets them away from their mean old parents occasionally. ;-)

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 10:27pm

(((((Ginny)))))


I typed in keywords: questions kids ask about being gay and these are a few of the links I found:


Parenting for Tolerance:


http://www.tolerance.org/parents/kidsarticle.jsp?p=0&ar=5


National Mental Health Association:
What Does Gay Mean?


http://www.nmha.org/whatdoesgaymean/index.cfm


Talking to School Age Children:


http://www.nmha.org/whatdoesgaymean/talkToSchoolAge.cfm


Kids of GLBT parents talk about it.


http://www.baywindows.com/news/2004/03/04/Columns/Kids-Of.Gay.And.Lesbian.Parents.Share.Their.Wisdom-625612.shtml


I agree with

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2001
In reply to: ginny868
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:41pm

Thanks.


I'm not on good speaking terms with my sister... and I prefer to keep it that way. Long story.


My niece

~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:45pm
I'm assuming you want books for her level of reading and comprehension, right? If it is parenting books, I've one here that can be recommended.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060527579/103-2005067-6200626?v=glance


Edited 7/8/2004 11:48 pm ET ET by rayeellen

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2001
In reply to: ginny868
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 12:02am

Thanks... I saved them to read more thoroughly later.


I will not be speaking to my sister... She and I are not on good speaking terms, and haven't been for over 5 years... since she moved in here. Long story.


R is begging me to play a game on Pogo.com... Kid taught herself how to play several games and loves to tease me when I lose a game. LOL


Thanks again.


~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2001
In reply to: ginny868
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 12:53am

Thanks!


I'm also looking at "Heather Has Two Mommies" by Leslea Newman: "When Heather goes to playgroup, at first she feels bad because she has two mothers and no father, but then she learns that there are lots of different kinds of families and the most important thing is that all the people love each other." I forgot that she also wrote children's books... It might be a little young for my niece, but the message is good.


~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 12:57am
Like I said before. U are good at what u do. nicely done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 5:51am

Ginny, when you said that you're not on good speaking terms with your sister, does that also mean she doesn't know you're gay? Because I'm thinking this could cause more problems between the two of you if you haven't actually come out to her.


As cool as your niece is, she's someone else's child. If she thought lesbianism is a disease, it's obvious she is still very much an innocent when it comes to knowledge of sexuality. I'm not saying it's wrong that you're filling in this knowledge for her... but with questions like that, a parent prefers to be involved in the discussion.


Unless your sister is uber-cool on this, when your niece says something about it (and she will, she's a kid and can't help herself) , sparks

 

Avatar for mschiffven
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 6:10am
ahh Nony, isnt it difficult when you can see both sides of the fence and you're not sure which to stand on?!

I also see this... Ginny, if your niece tells her mother what she knows, which she is very likely to do no matter how much you bribe her because like Nony says, she is a kid afterall- then is Mother likely to feel threatened in that you told her this and if the relationship between you two is already strained, then is it a possibility she will come between you and your niece? Is it a possibility she will full your neice with her ideals? Its just IMHO but I think you should talk to them both together.


visit my web site

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: ginny868
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 6:14am

That MUST be my problem, Ven!! Seeing both sides, straddling the fence...


typical gemini, can't make my mind up

 

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