Updates and Lowdowns

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Updates and Lowdowns
23
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 8:35pm

Hi Ladies,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 9:31pm

Hey Lori!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 11:11pm

Thanks once again, Pam...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 11:36pm
(((((((Hugs Lori Hon))))))) It has to be harder.. I imagine for Sandy to pull herself together and become what she needs... wants to be for herself as well as you when it's so (open) out here.. What I mean is people in relationships have it hard enough allowing themselves to act a certain way and go through what they need

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 11:38pm
I agree with NursePam. A mother and her children are entwined very closely but u need to step back one space. Give her her distance but at the same time let her know how u are feeling. When it comes to my children I will do anything for them that is correct and yes, will need a little space to do this but would luv to hear a luving word now and again from my partner. IMO, just let her know how you feel and how you feel with the situation. If she is honest, she will usually break down. Hold her and comfort her, IMO she is stressing and needs release. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}} to you. You will need it. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:03am
Hi Lori,

I will speak from my own greif and loss experiences.

I tend to feel the greif and loss to such an overwhelming extent and it is not

that I stop loving someone i.e. my partner but, I feel guilty if I feel good feelings when I should be greiving for a loved one. I know it might be pretty excessive and strange but I am working through it in therapy because it drives me in to such a deep dark depression. Sometimes way to deep.

I am not saying that Sandy is feeling like that but some of us do not handle grieving very well. I also know that if a person pushes me for more attention it makes me feel even more guilty and I tend to stuff my loving feelings out of guilt. They do not go away though and I would be devestated if my partner left me when I was grieving.

I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, ptsd, and bi-polar disorders. So that explains my problems lol.

Just maybe Sandy feels sort of guilty if she feels or shows affection to someone when she is grieving for someone else or maybe she is not sure how to feel both grief and positive feelings toward others. Almost like if she does she will be punished somehow for not grieving enough. I know it sounds crazy, it sounds crazy to me as I write it and talk about it in therapy. It is the way I feel though. I don't know if I have made any sense or not just trying to explain another perspective of how a person can seem not to care when they really still do.

Best wishes, Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 6:11am

Hey ((((Lori))))


I'm really sorry you both are in such a hard place right now. Some of this I've felt, some of it I've seen. Early-mama separation might pull at Sandy for a long time, off and on, so be warned. 'Losing' your kids isn't something you just feel once and then get over.


My kids did the same thing a year ago last Feb/March. I put my foot down concerning a few matters, their Dad told them I was trying to keep them babies, made me look like an ogre. He promised them the moon and they were off like a shot. He gave them things I wouldn't, including the illusion of 'regular' parents.. with their new step-mom. (Not that they personally ever

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 8:08am

Lori, sounds like you're in need of some hugs hon

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 8:20am

I do want it...I belong with you, angel.


And as tough as some of those times are, I think that, some how, some way, we are

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 9:31am

I think Lori, that one mistake many people often make in relationships, is to believe that trust happens overnight when in fact, it takes years of nurturing to grow and blossom fully and completely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 9:46am

(((((((Nony)))))))

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