Hi Butterfli and thanks for your support and input. I am trying to not "panic" with the intense grief my sweetie is feeling... Sometimes I admit, it is hard for me to "step back" because I want to comfort and protect her from pain. Logically I know that although I may be able to offer comfort, I can't "fix it" and she must go through the process. I also know sometimes my needs may complicate things and truly, I don't mean to but it is a reflection of my own humanness and my own past I guess. I'm workin on it! Hugs, Lori
Hi Laurie and thank you! Your words sound similar to what Sandy was expressing to me late last night when we spoke on the phone. Her grief is also very deep--it's just the way it is and she is having a difficult time dealing with it all. She mentioned that she feels unloveable and that she didn't love her kids enough to keep them with her so how could she love me enough? It clicked for me then just how wounded she feels and I wish with everything in me I could ease her pain. It's not enough that I tried to reassure her that the kids aren't "lost" to her...that they will still be in her life. To HER, HER REALITY, it is as if they've been taken away and nothing will ever be the same again! I grieved like that before once or twice and it wasn't over children but I DO remember that pain and how I felt absolutely unable to cope some days--ESPECIALLY in the beginning! Thanks for your input. Hugs, Lori
I think you got lots of great advice from everyone, so I'll just send lots of ((((((((((hugs)))))))))), positive vibes, and healing thoughts that way for both of you.
When it comes to our children... sometimes we can go way within... there is this sense of protection, of giving our everything and all of us to them unconditionally. Yes, we can get there with our partners as well, but partners means just that... we are partners, have our strengths and weaknesses that hopefully compliment each other. With our children, we worry. Even as they reach adulthood, we worry. The ties are unique.
I can't presume to offer you advice, except to be as much a part of the loop as you can, having a connection with her child if you can, then you cross into being a family.
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Some days I just want to sit at your feet and soak up all that wisdom :o)
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
Hey Cat,
Dear Nony,
Hi Lou...
I think you got lots of great advice from everyone, so I'll just send lots of ((((((((((hugs)))))))))), positive vibes, and healing thoughts that way for both of you.
Hugs!
~C
Lori, first off I want to send many many *Hugs of caring and support to you and Sandy both.
*hugs ~ Caly
When it comes to our children... sometimes we can go way within... there is this sense of protection, of giving our everything and all of us to them unconditionally. Yes, we can get there with our partners as well, but partners means just that... we are partners, have our strengths and weaknesses that hopefully compliment each other. With our children, we worry. Even as they reach adulthood, we worry. The ties are unique.
I can't presume to offer you advice, except to be as much a part of the loop as you can, having a connection with her child if you can, then you cross into being a family.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{nony}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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