Weddings, Commitment Ceremonies, & more
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Weddings, Commitment Ceremonies, & more
| Wed, 09-01-2004 - 7:54am |
I've got a few questions that anyone who wants to can offer their thoughts on. That is, you don't have to currently be in a relationship, you don't even have to have had a relationship ever, I am just interested in everyone's opinions. Some of the questions will obviously be for those in or have been in a relationship, but some are just opinion questions.
1.) Are you currently in a committed relationship? If not, have you ever been?
2.) What are your thoughts on weddings (with some sort of religious person officiating, for example ~

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2.) What are your thoughts on weddings (with some sort of religious person officiating, for example ~ a Unitarian minister) with or versus commitment ceremonies (no religious overtones of any sort, just a friends and family type thing)?
I believe in God, and I believe He loves everyone, myself included. I know for certain that wherever and however Jen and I make our public profession of our love and committment, He will be there. I know he wants us all to love eachother.
3.) Since, in general, we *can't* legally marry, what does being married mean to you?
Being married is not that important to me, I have been married, and going through a divorce kinda changed my thoughts on the permanence of it all. Jen wants to get married, and I imagine we will do that, but I don't think its a guarantee of a lifelong committment anymore.
4.) If your state made *traditional* marriage legal or even offered civil unions as an option, would that be something that you would want to do? Why or why not?
Of course! If Jen is lying in a hospital bed on a ventilator (God forbid) I want to be able to go in the room, I want her to keep my belongings if I die, I want her to be recognized as a significant person in my life by society, the law, and everyone else!
5.) What about jewelry? Do you believe in exchanging (have you exchanged, if partnered)jewelry as a sign of your commitment to one another? What do you use? (Rings, necklaces, ring on a chain, something else?)
I gave Jen a ring, she lost it. She gave me a ring, I forget to wear it. Hopefully we will take it a little more seriously when rings are exchanged at our wedding.
6.) If yes to the above question, how did it come about that you decided to do that? Did one partner say something like I want a ring and you just decided to exchange rings? Was it something you always knew you would do? How did you decide to do it?
We both just did it on our own.
7.) If yes to #5, how did you actually do the exchange? Laying in bed one night? At a party or dinner in front of friends and family? How, when, where did you exchange your jewelry?
It was very unromantic. I handed her to her, she handed me one a month later, not very meaningful at all. I want to choose rings together for our ceremony and then exchange them in front of family and friends. (if we can find a friend or family member that will actually attend the ceremony!)
8.) Do you celebrate an anniversary? How did you choose the date?
We celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss.
Sandr
1. Are you currently in a committed relationship? If not, have you ever been?
Ans. Yes, I am in a committed relationship. Gracemae and I talk on the phone, or we e-mail each other, we've sent each other letters, IMed each other. We talk a lot to each other. It really feels good being in a relationship.
2.What are your thoughts on weddings(with some sort of religious person officiating, for example ~ a Unitarian minister) with or versus committment ceremonies(no religious overtones of any sort, just a friends and family type thing)?
Ans. Well, after couple's counseling, Gracemae and I will have a religious ceremony. I know that my minister would love to perform the ceremony. Irregardless, of what people say about the Presbyterian church, my church is working towards inclusion of gay and lesbian people.
3.Since, in general, we can't legally marry, what does being married mean to you?
Ans. Well, soul and spiritwise, we can marry. Being married to me means being lovingly bound to the person that I have fallen in love with, and no law can stop that. I know that in Delaware, me and my partner would be treated as Domestic partners, but I don't know what it is in Virginia. (She wants to move to Roanoke). But being married means that I am a part of her life, financially, spiritually, emotionally, and in other ways also.
4.If your state made "traditional" marriage legal or even offered civil unions as an option, would that be something that you would want to do? Why or why not?
Ans. Well, Delaware does offer civil unions. I would except that most gratefully.
5. What about jewelry? Do you believe in exchanging(have exchanged, if partnered)jewelry as a sign of your commitment to one another? What do you use? Rings, necklaces, ring on a chain, something else?
Ans. Well that subject did come up in one of our conversations. And Gracemae has suggested that she would like to have silver rings(matching, of course)with onyx in the ring.
6. If yes to the above question, how did it come about that you decided to do that? Did your partner say something like I want a ring and you decided to exchange rings? Was it something you knew that you would always do? How did you decide to do it?
Ans. Well, like I said, the conversation came to the subject of wedding rings.
7. If you said yes to #5, how did you actually do the exchange? Laying in bed one night? At a party in front of friends and family? How, when, where did you exchange jewelry?
Ans. Well, I would do it the traditional way of having a "best man" to do the honors of holding the rings while the ceremony took place. (Since I already have one chosen).
8. Do you celebrate an anniversary? How do you choose the date?
Ans. Well, I have written down on my calendar when we officially became a couple, and when the time comes, I will record when we have married.
Anything else you want to share re: being partnered, would be appreciated.
Well, Courtney, I simply am happy that Gracemae has consented to be my girlfriend to begin with and even though we have a long distance relationship, I feel as though she is with me in spirit. We have already begun the "getting to know you" phase, and it's going great. We are telling each other the details of our day, and it really is like she's right there. I can't wait to cuddle with her and hold her irl. Well, before I start getting sentimental, I'll think I'll stop here.
Hugs.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Ans- Yes.
2.) What are your thoughts on weddings (with some sort of religious person officiating, for example ~ a Unitarian minister) with or versus commitment ceremonies (no religious overtones of any sort, just a friends and family type thing)?
My g/f and I both would love to get married. We believe in God, and believe that we are loved by God. We have discussed the issue of marriage and would want to be married if/when it becomes legal, so that we do not feel like we are just playing wedding.
3.) Since, in general, we *can't* legally marry, what does being married mean to you?
We both feel like we are married in our hearts. That our souls have connected. Niether of us has ever felt sure of spending the rest of our lives with anyone until we met each other. We never feel like something only belongs to one of us. Everything we have and do and experience belongs to "us" no matter who paid for it, made it, lost it, needs help for it, etc. Everthing feels equal. No feelings of comparing such as I bought that so it is mine, or I have to pay for most of these bills so I am being used. Everything just feels like a joint partnership. House, cars, dogs, money, credit, debt, sickness, health, the good and the bad times. We just feel like whatever comes our way, we will go through it together for the rest of our lives. It just seems so natural to us.
4.) If your state made *traditional* marriage legal or even offered civil unions as an option, would that be something that you would want to do? Why or why not?
Yes we would want to do it. We want our relationship to be just as respected as anyone elses. Our families treat us like any of the other married couples in the family so we are very blessed in that way.
5.) What about jewelry? Do you believe in exchanging (have you exchanged, if partnered)jewelry as a sign of your commitment to one another? What do you use? (Rings, necklaces, ring on a chain, something else?)
My g/f said that she would like us to have matching rings made. We are just waiting until we have our debts cleared. We will use rings to wear on our left ring fingers to signify our partnership.
6.) If yes to the above question, how did it come about that you decided to do that? Did one partner say something like I want a ring and you just decided to exchange rings? Was it something you always knew you would do? How did you decide to do it?
One day when she kissed me she said, I wish we could be married. I said me too. She said I want us to have matching rings. I said, I would like that very much. She showed me a ring in a jewlery store that she liked and how she would slightly modify it for us. My heart just melted and I would love nothing more than to wear her designed ring. It would mean even more to me that way. Besides she has incredible taste. lol.
7.) If yes to #5, how did you actually do the exchange? Laying in bed one night? At a party or dinner in front of friends and family? How, when, where did you exchange your jewelry?
I told her that I want her to suprise me one day with the rings, just the two of us in a very romantic setting.
8.) Do you celebrate an anniversary? How did you choose the date?
We celebrate the date that we consumated our relationship. We also celebrate the day we met because for both of us it was a love at first sight thing. Our eyes met across a room and we just walked over towards each other. We spent the rest of the evening talking and dancing and she kissed me good night. 6 months later we were officially together.
So, we always do something special on both dates, even if it is just a romantic dinner at home. We talk about the night we met, the feelings we felt and everthing leading up to our being together officially.
We have been together for 7 happy and loving years. No name calling, no screaming at each other, respecting each others differences which are usually the things that are endearing. Never feeling like one is better than the other. We both seem to compliment each other. Where one is weak the other is strong, and when we are both strong look out. When we are both weak we hhave each other to love and get through it with together.
We encourage and support each other.
Very nice questions Courtney. I cannot wait for my honey to get home from work!
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I know that in Delaware, me and my partner
would be treated as Domestic partners, but
I don't know what it is in Virginia. (She wants
to move to Roanoke).
Sadly Gigi, Virginia enacted legislation that went into effect July 1, that denies same-sex couples many of the same legal rights that married couples take for granted.
Kim
Check out my
1.) Are you currently in a committed relationship? If not, have you ever been?
I have always been committed to all my relationships.. I take my friendships as seriously as my partnerships.
*hugs ~ Caly
Ok, thanks Kim, I really appreciate that. Well, Gracemae and I will just have to get married in Delaware. And of course, everyone from the board, that can come, is welcome to our wedding. We'll be sending out wedding invitations though.
Hugs.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
1.) Are you currently in a committed relationship? If not, have you ever been?
Yes.
Kim
Check out my
Thank you all who responded. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on this. I'll post my own answers a little bit later today. And if anyone else wants to answer, I would really, really appreciate it!!!!
Hugs!
~C
Great questions b.t.w.
1.) Are you currently in a committed relationship? If not, have you ever been?
Normally I would smart a** you with some kind of hospitalize or straight jacketed committed comments but today, I will just answer yes I am. *g*
2.) What are your thoughts on weddings (with some sort of religious person officiating, for example ~ a Unitarian minister) with or versus commitment ceremonies (no religious overtones of any sort, just a friends and family type thing)?
I have been both married and committed, neither having much meaning for either person I took on. Now that I am with K, I feel that while I would like something legal just in case something happens, it means more to me that we are committed to each other in our hearts and souls.
3.) Since, in general, we *can't* legally marry, what does being married mean to you?
Personally I am not a huge fan of marriage, I believe two people can be just as committed without the paperwork.
4.) If your state made *traditional* marriage legal or even offered civil unions as an option, would that be something that you would want to do? Why or why not?
Even if it were made legal, I doubt very much K and I would get married or civil unioned. K isn't a huge fan of marriage having watched her dad do it 8 times, and I've had the "wedding" thing. I am not against marriage or our right to marry, I am just saying its not for me.
5.) What about jewelry? Do you believe in exchanging (have you exchanged, if partnered)jewelry as a sign of your commitment to one another? What do you use? (Rings, necklaces, ring on a chain, something else?)
K gave me a very pretty white gold band with a shooting star about 2 months into our relationship. I chose to wear it on my left hand, signifying to her that I was off the market. On her birthday I gave her a tigers eye pinkie ring, as she already wears rings on her ring finger and middle.
6.) If yes to the above question, how did it come about that you decided to do that? Did one partner say something like I want a ring and you just decided to exchange rings? Was it something you always knew you would do? How did you decide to do it?
Actually it wasnt' something I had expected or anticipated, to be truthful when I saw the ring box my mind went into panic mode. I never wanted another ring from anyone, to me it meant ownership not love. K was very sweet and told me I could do with it what I wanted she just saw it thought it suited me and bought it.
7.) If yes to #5, how did you actually do the exchange? Laying in bed one night? At a party or dinner in front of friends and family? How, when, where did you exchange your jewelry?
K was looking very nervous one evening, pacing, keeping her coat on etc. The troll babies got home from school and she took off down the stairs with them. My roommate and her gf had really goofy smiles as we all ate supper together, the trolls were giggle happy, I just decided they were all strange. I was doing the supper dishes when K asked me to come into the living room, on the coffee table was a silver book mark of an Angel underneath was a ring box. I glanced at it,went into panic mode, said thanks very much and went back to the dishes. (Huge Romantic that is me!)K called me back out, handed the box to me, said "open it please" I did, closed it,handed it back said thanks, back to the kitchen I went.
K came into the kitchen said "I'm trying to give you a gift, why are you being so resistant, you didn't fight me on new pots and pans." I said "pots and pans are useful, that is jewelry, not just any jewlry but a ring. I don't do rings. What exactly does this ring mean?" She looked at me and said "It's a ring, it's pretty, I saw it, I thought you would love it because the star and diamonds are you and the girls. That's it. End of story its a nice ring.Wear it on a chain, wear it however you want it. I just love you."
I gave her hers the night before her birthday while lying in bed watching a smooshy girl movie, in the movie they were doing the candle lights wine and roses thing, I was too excited to wait til the next day so I turned down the volume on the torrid (after proposal) love scene and gave her the ring. For our anniversary she would like the band widened and made larger so she can wear it on her left hand. ahhh...nice smooshy stuff!
8.) Do you celebrate an anniversary? How did you choose the date?
Our anniversary date is the date that we first made love. K tells everyone that we have been together 2 yrs 9 months, she says everyone didnt' understand that we were friends who enjoyed each others company and accused us of fooling around long before we even had a clue that we "had a thing" for each other then we should add that to our being together time. So Dec.21 it will be 3 yrs! ;) lol
Sorry C, I didn't mean for it to get this long! Whew..Hugs!
*** Yes I am...as committed as they get!
2.) What are your thoughts on weddings (with some sort of religious person officiating, for example ~ a Unitarian minister) with or versus commitment ceremonies (no religious overtones of any sort, just a friends and family type thing)?
**We would like to someday have a wedding....without the religious part of it tho....
3.) Since, in general, we *can't* legally marry, what does being married mean to you?
**Safety for one....we wouldnt have to carry around powers of attorney for each other....
4.) If your state made *traditional* marriage legal or even offered civil unions as an option, would that be something that you would want to do? Why or why not?
**We would, again it gives us safety legally ...there is something very deep about making the committment in a ceremony
5.) What about jewelry? Do you believe in exchanging (have you exchanged, if partnered)jewelry as a sign of your commitment to one another? What do you use? (Rings, necklaces, ring on a chain, something else?)
**We have matching rings and each have a necklace depicting importing things
6.) If yes to the above question, how did it come about that you decided to do that? Did one partner say something like I want a ring and you just decided to exchange rings? Was it something you always knew you would do? How did you decide to do it?
** We decided a couple of years ago....we had the rings made of white Gold...the outside says "forever and always" in ancient rune writing...inside have our nicks
7.) If yes to #5, how did you actually do the exchange? Laying in bed one night? At a party or dinner in front of friends and family? How, when, where did you exchange your jewelry?
** we had ordered them before she had to return to her home country for a spell...i was going to bring them out when i visited..but somehow they arrived ahead of schedule and were delivered on a Sunday morning no less before I was to take her to the airport.
8.) Do you celebrate an anniversary? How did you choose the date?
yes....groundhog day...first day we met IRL and ...well...if youve ever seen my pic.....
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