Oh help, please?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Oh help, please?????
31
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 3:12am
~sigh. I'm lost, once again?

Well, the last time I posted about B, I believe I confirmed that we were dating casually. And that's what it's been for the last couple of weeks. I guess the one thing that attracts me to her the most is that she has no baggage. Unlike myself, she is young, vibrant, carefree...she's a breath of fresh air everytime I'm around her. I feel that I am a weight that brings her down - and I don't want to do that. All I really desire is a friendship with her, but I know that's not what she wants. Each time I've tried to bring this up, and my reasons behind my feelings, I end up feeling worse than I did before. Why the hell did I have to run into her at the store that day?!?!? Both of us could be resuming our normal lives today had it not been for that chance encounter. I want her to be happy, but I know it'll never be with me. Question is... How on earth do I convince her of that? *buries her head in the sand* My heart is sinking again...

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Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 8:30am

IMHO you Cant convince her sweetie,


No one can MAKE another person believe something or do something they dont want to do.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 9:48am
I agree with Cali.

If it is casual dating then enjoy your time with her when she is that little breath of fresh air.

It is impossible to tell someone how they will feel about something and have them believe that you know their feelings better than they do. It just never seem to work.

If you enjoy your situation then go with it. People come in to our lives for a reason. sooner or later you will figure out why she is there.

Just have fun and don't worry about something in the future. You really can't predict the future anyway.

If you need it to end then tell her that you just cannot do this because the timing is wrong for you.

Hope things work out which ever you decide.

Keep us posted.

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 10:05am

Sadie, do you like her?

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 10:16am
I agree with what Kim has to say... first you have to know how you feel. Talking to her about it if you are uncertain would be unwise. If you are certain all you desire is friendship, then you should speak up, else it will get worse for both of you.

If you are uncertain, take it slow, but go with the flow and see where it takes you.

*hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 12:04pm

(((((( Sadie ))))))


Nothing justs " happens " , I believe everything has a reason behind it ( even if we

"Kitty Cat Rules"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 12:34pm

>All I really desire is a friendship with her, but I know that's not what she wants.


I think that the input everyone else has given you is excellent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 5:12pm

Hi Sadie,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 7:06pm
Thanks Caly (((((hun))))) >>>No one can MAKE another person believe something or do something they dont want to do. <<< which is obviously the case here. Such great advice, which is why I guess I keep comming back here... My direction is pointing toward the second choice (for now anyway).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 7:12pm
Thanks laurie I completely agree. ((((hugs))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 7:25pm
Ohhh (((Kim))) that is so sweet! Ya know, I never really know how I come across on this board sometimes - I'm sure there are plenty of times where y'all are saying "okay, what is she smoking"...I have a tendancy to put foot-in-mouth or mean one thing but it comes out totally wrong...But that's okay, I'm use to strange looks and having to clarify the meaning behind my words quite often IRL. Thanks for those kind words. And I can't believe you still remeber the Chariots of Fire thing! LOLOL!!!

I do like her, quite more than I would like to admit. I was talking with her on the phone earlier. I was kind of in a *blah* mood before she called, but then I started relaying the events of the past two days (McD's, put put, my confusion this morning - I posted it in the Monday Moan if you want the full story) and she starts laughing. And gawd she knows how to laugh - that genuine, loud laughter that comes from the pit of your belly and resonates through the chest and vibrates off the walls...I'm envious, all I can do is *giggle*. I was lifted out of my funk immediately. ~sigh

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