does your mom chase you out of the..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
does your mom chase you out of the..
22
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 3:17am
toilet when SHE needs to use them? Assuming there was only one available toilet at the time.

LOL, I know, i know - this is a really an ODD question but i notice this happening with a friend of mine with her mum (and mind you, my friend is 28) at this hotel they were staying at. Let me give you an example:

My friend goes into the toilet, and it's barely 5 minutes when the mom comes in from wherever, needing to go and she slams the door

'Oi, honey, HURRY UP, I need to GO!'

My friend says, 'A minute, mom'

and barely ten seconds passes when the mom slams at the door again,

My friend goes all quiet bec obviously she isn't done.

Another ten seconds, bang... bang...'Honey! Get out! I need to GO! NOW!'

Well, my friend was here for a family gathering, and so two of her other aunts were here as well with their kids, ages 8 through 28 also, at the same hotel and throughout the one week they were here, this pattern was repeated throughout this family: the parent always demanded the perogative.

I have never seen anything like this before. I'm not sure if it's because the hotel rooms have only one toilet. To be quite honest, I find this a bit distressing. What do you think?




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2001
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 10:20pm

Nope... He was being obnoxious, so I was being obnoxious right back.


~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:43am
Yeah! that's what I thought too!!! We have to respect another person's toilet rights, LOL, even if it's our kid... I honestly think there's a screw loose somewhere in the family, LOL, no... not just based on this one incident, there were plenty others... this merely confirmed what I thought all along, LOL.

I know, i know... I'm mean!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:05am
I don't know about bladder problems, but this was being practiced by all four sisters on their kids! I doubt they ALL had bladder problems, I think it's an attitude throughout the family, lol. The kids don't seem to have rights as individuals, in the fullest sense of the word, IMO.

I don't know... some of the kids, (ages 8 through 28) some really bright ones too... are really not doing alright, they have major self-esteem issues, to say the least... but my friend seems to have turned out alright. *seems to*

Me, I would have been MAJORLY distressed if I couldn't do my basic toileting in peace, sigh. Thanks, folks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 5:00am
lol, yeah... My dad is ALWAYS doing that on the lemon tree. And my mum is always going, "*Henry*! One day, you're going to give someone an awful fright!' refering to the kids who come for preschool next door, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 5:01am
hey, i actually wrote you something but it never got posted, i thought it did... nv, here goes...

how do you feel about what your mom did, in general? Have you ever made an issue out of it with her? If you did, how did she react?

Ummm...you don't hav to answer anything you're not comfortable with, k? :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 2:20pm
rofl... I can see if someone has medical issues, or if someone playing around, but just normal etiquette, yikes.

I was just searching the net for "bathroom etiquette." Hmmmm.. did ya know there is a "world toilet organisation?" There are lot of joke sites... lots of guy bathroom etiquette sites... and geesh, Emily Post has nothing on bathroom etiquette.

I'm reminded of being in a restroom earlier this year... a woman ventures into a stall, yakking on her cell phone, yakked right on through, was still yakking after and on her way out the door. There is no way on earth I could do that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 2:22pm
Is there a constant line waiting outside the bathroom door, and does one come out and then get at the end of the line?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 11:16pm

(((((( Hugs )))))


No worries about asking me things, I'm a very honest and open person :o) & therapy is helping me deal with my childhood!


"Kitty Cat Rules"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:46am
I've learned there are different kinds of abuse, physical being the most obvious. Then there's those psychological and the emotional wounds that'll take a lot longer to heal, but they must be healed, so that you can realize your full potential. I can imagine how hard it must have been for you, because abuse can really stunt your psyche and to be able to make it in this world, you actually need a healthy, complete psyche so you have to essentially backtrack and work through those issues and try to rebuild/reshape what's fractured, and all this takes time as well, and a lot of struggle on your part to understand things. Yeh, it's pretty unfair. I do hope you never give up on this, because you'll be able to see dimensions a person with a more well-balanced childhood may not, that could be an advantage to you someday.

Thanks, next time i see a parent holler their kid out of the toilet, (If there are no bladder problems present) I know better now to be keeping an eye for other signs of abuse...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:57am
This is so funny to be talking to someone on your cellphone then you hear an odd streaming sound then the toilet flushing, I'd imagine I'd be laughing my head off, and say 'Hey, did you just...?'... that person will hear about this NO END from me, if that happens...LOL! It's quite... rude! I don't want to know that someone is thinking about me and peeing at the same time, lol (it's OK if they are), *But I don't need to be informed about this, even indirectly!!!*

I'm not really into toilet etiquette and stuff, i basically don't care either way it's just that the attitude i saw that day, and the many days after bothered me and i wondered if it was a symptom of a bigger problem.

Yeh, if it's just a prank, it's alright, if there's a long line, that's understandable too but honestly, it's just the way things work in that family!! But her mum isn't abusive, not that I can see... neglectful, maybe... and my friend is quite a coper, too.