Roooooooaaaaaaaaaad TRIP!
Find a Conversation
Roooooooaaaaaaaaaad TRIP!
| Mon, 09-06-2004 - 11:40pm |
I gots my plane tickets to Houston, I gots my reservations in Chicago, I gots my itinerary all wrapped up.
Sadie and I are goin' on a ROAD TRIP!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee HAW!
And now I'm going to bed and see what evil plans I can dream up for October ;^)

Pages
To all those making Road Trips, flights, train/bus rides
~ ML ~![]()
>That city will never be the same;) LOL!
HA!
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
Sunday, I sat in the sauna. As I perspired, I daydreamed about you mentioning how you would talk to me. Just a simple couple of words to you, but something for me to hang on to, so I wouldn’t drown in the loneliness. And, in all that heat, my car keys became too hot to touch. I wanted to just die that way--in the heat—thinking of you--because I knew I would die happy. I knew the minute I left the sauna; I would have to face reality again.
And, reality came with the Road Trip thread. Nobody's fault. Just a simple thread. However, I could no longer daydream. Not at least while I sank deeply in a dark feeling of complete loss. But, again, it's nobody's fault.
I mean, I'm just a small town girl. I thought earlier this week that perhaps a small town girl is all I can be. Perhaps that's all I can handle. There are good things about small towns-- less traffic, less crime, a family atmosphere. But, what kind of family do I belong? I'm certainly not traditional. I mostly feel like an outsider even here on this board. Looking in at everyone-some notice me and others just ignore my presence.
That's one good thing about being in a technology major. For Tuesday and Thursday nights, I was busy looking at motherboards and taking apart PCs-nothing emotional about that. You can get lost in that. The circuitry of electronics can be a safe getaway from the reality of what you're in. Of course, those you speak with in your class haven't an understanding of a technology major student who daydreams of being a journalist. As one student said to me on Thursday night, "You are in the wrong class. The wrong school. The wrong city." How prophetic is that? I mean, she had no idea I was gay. Wrong city. Wrong school. You know, perhaps one should at some time in their life learn that some things aren’t negotiable. Some things are set in stone. Destined. Predetermined. Being in the wrong place doesn’t necessarily mean you deserve to be in the right place.
Who's to say that I'm not meant to stay small town? Maybe there are some battles that aren't worth fighting. And, maybe those who settle aren't giving up as much as some might want us to think. Perhaps settling is only giving up some of the pie and only getting enough to satisfy parts of you.
Before I found this board, I was a lonely sap who pined over a married woman. I can remember last Christmas; I wandered shops upon shops daydreaming about what I would buy her if I were her husband. It really isn’t much different now. Only, now she’s not married. And, I play turn back time with the clock and what she must be doing while I’m in midday. So, what will I do this coming Christmas? I’ve tired to resurrect Lucy, but she’s gone. I have trouble truly remembering her. I’ll be entertaining a fathom of my imagination that crosses all time zones when I ring in the New Year.
But, it isn’t anyone’s fault. It is life. Somewhere in all the mess, you can survive with some kind of thought that gets you through the day or night. Whether it is some woman half way across the country typing a message to you stating that she would talk to you or some silly daydream of the girl next door. If it gets you to the next day, then what did it hurt? It is sometimes the what ifs that can be the biggest players in our little worlds. Because, without them, we would be hopeless to daydream. And, our spirits would be sick from the famine called negativity.
Have a pleasant and safe road trip!
rj
rj
Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197
Well, ya know, rj, I feel the same way too, but I have to realize that even though I'm a native of my home state, that I know that inside of me there lies a woman that belongs to a large, beautiful family. No, were not related by blood, but we are related in some way or shape.
When I used to got to bars, I used to get lonely just watching all of the couples both lesbians and gay men, and I would be a little upset. But, I would close my eyes and dance to the music, whether it be slow or fast. Sometimes I would open my eyes and someone would be dancing with me, and I'd smile and dance with them, but when the song ended, I would offer to buy them a drink, and they would accept and that would be it.
I can understand the lonliness that you feel, but I simply won't allow myself to not meet the sensational women in this community. I know that you have responsibilities job-wise and you're a bit shy about how your voice sounds, but understand, there's nothing wrong with being who you are. You think you have a problem with guys coming on to you, Please.
I get that everyday, even if I'm dressed in a shirt and tie (I know I looked bizarre, but that's how much confidence I have in my ability to attract just about anyone). I have a small beard growing on my chin, and nothing seems to deter these guys. But all in all, I feel like my life can go anywhere I want it to go. And maybe your classmate was right, maybe you are in the wrong town, in the wrong place and maybe you should be someplace that you feel that you can grow and blossom.
When I go around in public, I know I look funny, but I know that the looks I receive are sometimes rude, sometimes curious, sometimes admiring, and all the time, I simply love the attention. (And not because, I'm physically handicapped either). But I know I look good. (smile). But, I'm never really lonely because I have my family right here, you included.
I kinda hope that makes you feel a little better.
Hugs.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Well, I had better give my bird some attention.
Take care,
rj
rj
Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197
Very deep thoughts and very well expressed rj.
Here's what I'm thinking your classmate may have meant:
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
Big Warm ((((Hugs))))and comments will be in the e-mails **Smiles**"CAT"
C >^. A .
Hugs,
rj
rj
Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197
I am sooooo excited! I cannot wait for Chicago. Its gonna be a blast. That poor town will never be the same!
~C
Pages