Looks like I'm moving out . . .
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| Thu, 09-09-2004 - 2:15am |
He told me last night that he was going to have to take another position at work due to his inability to work at the proper level, would probably lose his company car (brand new bmw,) and take a significant pay cut, (-about 40K.) His therapist told him that like it or not, it is his responsibility to financially care for his family and that he couldn't flush his career down the drain (thank God for her . . . )
I'm sorry if I sound insensitive, but I just don't get it. I have supported his career and raised our children for eight years. I haven't built my career because we made a decision together to make the choice for me to be home with our three daughters. I can't go out tomorrow and get a job making what he makes because I sacrificed my career building for what we felt was best for our children.
Also . . . He had ten years to show me how much he loved and valued me and never did. I never felt like I was first in his life and never felt valued. He made me feel like I was just some very lucky girl to have him supporting me.
I am so sick of him and all of our friends feeling sorry for him and his terrible sorrow. Who was there for me all of those years when he treated me like crap? I found something in gf that I didn't know existed. I feel loved, connected, and valued for who I am and what I offer to the world.
Not even mentioning the fact that I now look back at my life and my relationship with women and say, oh . . . I get it now, I understand why I felt the way that I did; I must be a lesbian.
I don't know if I shared before, but I had never felt an attraction to another woman before, never even considered it. The night that I kissed gf for the first time, (now that's a good story . . . ) I felt like I was completely changed for the rest of my life.
I'm rambling. It's late. Just thought I would update.
Best to everyone, (my new understanding friends . . .)
Scarlet

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Sweetie,
My STBX and I worked through our
*hugs ~ Caly
>but I did get a free consultation and then paid just to have her look over the paperwork before we filed
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
Nony makes a very important point here.
Kim
Check out my
I was actually thinking that after Monday's mediation meeting I will call the attorney that I spoke to before, (she was advertised in the local weekly gay and lesbian newspaper,) and see if she could consult with me help me to look after my interests.
I will demand on Monday to have the spousal support and parenting agreement in writing so that it doesn't backfire on me.
I'm trying to stay focused here, I really don't like to think of having a huge battle but I also don't want to get screwed over either.
Thanks so much to all of you for your continued support and advice.
Scarlet
Scarlett
my blog
Scarletter, you need to do what you have to do, but for goodness sakes, understand the trauma your husband is dealing with. You have somebody to go to that loves you and provides you comfort; he doesn't. And honey, whether you think so or not, he DOES think that his life is being screwed up.
C >^. A .
I think Jaydi, that we already covered the part where
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
Such endings are never easy, and rarely is the past seem equitable... yet while finances are important, what *really* counts is being happy, being true to you, living your life on your terms, no one elses. I made good money and found it meaningless in the bigger picture. Now, for the short term, I shall make a sixth of what I used to, yet will be happier.
We are all here to lend support. We can't live your life, but we can offer a shoulder and listen... maybe even an occasional opinion. While the path ahead is scary, I am a firm believer in "in adversity lies opportunity." Opportunity can be anything we feel a need to do and experience. I'm sure you will find the strength within you, and you will thrive.
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