Losing it all
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Losing it all
| Tue, 09-14-2004 - 9:04am |
Well I think I have finally hit rock bottom. Jen moved out the other day because my daughter and her could not get along. I take that back, my daughter would not get along. Then yesterday my daughter springs it on me that she is going to live with her father. After 15 years of devotion and unconditional love, this is the love I get in return. Words cannot express the pain in my heart. I had my daughter when I was 19, raised her alone until she was 4, met my husband and he adopted her when she was 5. She is going to stay with him. He is never even home, she will not be ok. I don't know where I am going to go or what I am going to do. I don't even remember who I was before I had her, she is my whole identity. I gave up Jen, my only happiness, and lost everything and everyone else too. I don't know what I expect you all to say I just needed to tell someone. I better go figure out where to go from here. I figure I have 2 choices, I can live or die. I created my destiny, so I guess I had this coming. Sandra

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Sandra, What I would like to humbly know is what were the lines of communication like between you, Jen and your daughter? Did y'all sit down and talk about how each one of you felt about the whole situation about the things that go on in your life, I don't mean sharing the too personal ones, but in your life in general?
Have you had the chance to talk with Jen about how she's feeling? More important, do you know what Jen is thinking and feeling? (Gosh, I guess I have Courtney questionitis). But, anyway,(chuckle, chuckle), I wouldn't let things just go. Considering the fact that you can look at the situation and try to ask those questions, I would hope that you would want some answers as to how those two are feeling, as well as, letting your feelings be known between the two of them. Well, there's another two cents.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
As I now have a teenager in the house, I can certainly agree with what the others have said.
*hugs ~ Caly
Hi Sandra,
You have your health, and YOURSELF. Thats important.
ABSOLUTELY it is a devastating blow that your child wants to move in with her father after you have put blood, sweat and tears into raising her alone. There is NOTHING you can say or do that will change her opinion on it, and I dont think you should try - You know why? She needs to LEARN what it is like to have a parent that is there, a parent that cares and is active in a child's life, and she needs to learn what its like to think the grass is greener on the other side, and find that its not, and be let down and not have things be 'better'. Allow her to be let down, allow her to get hurt..its the only way she'll absolutely respect and appreciate you. And guess what? Youre her mom, but you are worthy of respect, and love and consideration - she is old enough to know what she's doing - old enough to purposely spite you, to hurt you - to make things more difficult than need be - be angry because she OWES you more for everything youve given her - for giving her life. She OWES you. Remember, you are a mother, but you are your own person first. You deserve happiness.
As for your partner, Im so sorry she has gone. Give her a little bit of space and then try to talk to her and let her know how you feel, let her know whats going on. Im not sure if that will make any difference, but Im sure she cares for you and at the very least will be there for you as a friend.
As for not knowing where to go from here..honey, the best advice I could give you to that is NOWHERE. When you dont know where you should go, Stay where you are.
Youre going to be okay..You created your destiny, I agree..its not your destiny to suffer, you deserve happiness and all good things, And you'll have that.
Hugs,
Alisha
Sandr
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Sandr
Sandr
Alisha,
I needed to hear that, and I am taking that advice. Any decision I make now is going to be the wrong one. I am too mad and sad to think clearly. My girlfriend is being wonderful, she is calling to check on me and wants to move in our own place. I just don't know what to do, so I will take your advice and do nothing until I KNOW what to do. Pam told me once that I should take baby steps and when I need a nap, take a nap. Thats what I am going to do right now. Thanks and appreciation! sandra
Sandr
*hugs* again...
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