HELP!! I need some real good advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
HELP!! I need some real good advice
7
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 12:13pm
Hey ladies,

Some of you are familiar with my story but for those of you who aren't here is a quick rundown.

Maried for 16 years and currently separated for the last 8 months I have three kids 16, 13 and 6. I have a good relationship with my stbx. I am currently living with my gf.

Here is my dilema. My gf has an interview with a company in Atlanta (we live in St, Louis. She has already has three phone interviews with them and now they want to fly her in to meet her. There is a real good chance she will get an offer from them. That is the good news. The bad part is she wants to know weather she should take the job and move all of us to Atlanta??

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing most of them being financial but also about my kids. If it were just me and her I would go in a second but I have 3 kids to worry about.

Is it going to be too much too soon or would a new start do us all a world of good. Neither of us are even divorced yet. That creates a whole additional set of legal issues.

There are so many factors that play into this I just don't know which way to go.

I am so confused......what to do???????????


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 1:31pm
Well, I am not going to give you much advice, because I am not in a good position to do that...but I am going to pass on something someone here said to me a day or two ago. Until you know where to go, stay where you are. I'll add you to my prayer list! Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 1:55pm
I will gladly take your prayers because right now, I think that will be better than any advice I can get.

Thanks!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:27pm

Where are you in the divorce process?

Kim
Check out my

Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 3:04pm

Kim gave you the legal advice, I can only give you my experience.


Before I chose to make this move upcoming move to Tennessee, I had to sit down with myself and really think about what was important to me.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 10:20pm
IMO, I think you should serisouslly think about moving. If the kids are hyped about the relationship then it should be done. If they are in the dark then you need to rethink this move.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 10:43pm

(((((((Babystr)))))))


If you are confused, then you are not yet ready to make a decision.

Avatar for stopthehate
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 11:05pm
That's a tough one. My partner has three kids, ages 15, and twins that are 10. We really want to move from this area but decided it would be best to wait until the oldest one graduates high school. It would be too much to move for the teenager and we felt it was fair to wait for her to finish school and then we could move. And by that time, we could have our finances at a better place to better enable us to move.

I think the legal advice you have gotten was very good. Where's the divorce procedures?

What do the kids think about moving? Have you mentioned that to them?

We are already prepping the younger kids that we plan to move, so that it won't be such a shock.

If you doubt whether you should go, you probably should listen to that. You could always let her move and get settled and see how things go. She may not like it there, and then what would you do? moving is expensive and you are talking about uprooting your family. it's alot to consider.

Good luck!