Bittersweet victory

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Bittersweet victory
13
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 2:09am
First I want to thank you all for helping me get through this. I seriously considered a mental institution for my own protection and I know for a fact if I didn't have you guys I would have done it.

I experienced every possible emotion over these past few days and it's finally settled. I won't bore you with all the details but here is the final outcome: I am moving back to Pennsylvania (where I am originally from) to be near my family - and my daughter is coming with me! I didn't even have to fight, I just said "I'm moving and so are you" she was sooo happy, and has been dancing around the house all night. My stbx agreed that this is best for us all. Our divorce is almost settled, just waiting on the final draft but everything is agreed upon so there will be no more bickering about that. He has my "payoff" so I am free to go, my sister and brother in law are looking for somewhere for me to live because I don't want to move in with anyone. I even contacted my daughters new school in PA and am faxing her transcripts in the morning. We are so happy and excited.

Now the bad part.....my poor little Jen. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to tell her I was leaving. Her big beautiful brown eyes just welled up with tears and she begged me not to go, or to take her with us, I don't know where the strength came from to tell her no. I explained to my daughter that I would be spending time with Jen before I left, and she was more than understanding. I also told her that I was going to keep in touch after I leave and warned of the possibility that Jen would be moving back in with us someday when the timing was better. She said ok. Jen is afraid I will lose interest in her or find someone else, I am afraid she will. If we were meant to be we can make it through. Many survive long distance relationships and I hope we can. I will miss her so much, I want her to be with me, but I am going to give my daughter the time she needs and deserves. Jen seems to understand but that doesn't make it any easier. I am hoping that she can join us in under a year, but I am not going to set a date. When my daughter can handle it, that's when it will happen.

OK, well, thank you again. If any of you ever think your posts aren't life changing for some people, think again. I mean it when I say you all participated in saving my life. Because of you my daughter has a mother, and Jen has a girlfriend. If they only knew....I will just say thanks agin on their behalf.

Many, many hugs and smooches! Sandra

Sandr

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Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:07am

Im so very happy for you Sandra.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:17am
I just haven't known what to say, you're incredibly strong for making your way through this. I'm so glad for you that you seem to be turning the situation around.

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:39am

(((((( Sandra ))))))


I am so happy that things have calmed down for you and DD. As for Jen, like Caly said, " If it is ment to be ... it will be " . I know that is easier said then done, but she gave me the same advice when I was going thru a break up ... and our wize Caly was right :o) !


Many tight squeezy huggles & smooches,


Robin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:12am
Good outcome for all sandra. I hope you are at piece with your decision.

It is also nice to hear DD being a bit more reasonable. Jen too. If this relationship is meant to be it will last, and you and DD will have your relationship as well. Time will tell and that must be what DD needs right now.

I think you made a good decision.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 10:04am

{{{{{{{{{{Sandra}}}}}}}}}}

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 11:18am
(((((((((Sandra)))))))))))) Good luck to you!
Ting

Ting 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 11:37am

Sandra, you have taken such a courageous step in insisting on what you KNOW to be the right thing for you right now. I pray to the angels that this marks the bginning of a much happier phase of your life hon.


As for your Jen - you hang in there with each other. Love CAN indeed survive distance...Nony and I were 5000 miles apart for over 2 years before we got to be together. If it's right for you both, everything will find its own way of falling into the right place, Sandy. You tell Jen to take heart...have faith in what you both now share.


Sending you big hugs, hon ~


Loubie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 11:51am

It sounds to me like you have reached a solution that everyone can live with, with the possible except of Jen.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 12:06pm


Well, Sandra, that's the best decision you've made. I'm here in De. Even though you've made the best decision to be made. All things will fall into place.

{{{{{{{{{Sandra}}}}}}}

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 12:12pm
Hi,



Good luck to you and your daughter in Pennsylvania.

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