Bittersweet victory

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Bittersweet victory
13
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 2:09am
First I want to thank you all for helping me get through this. I seriously considered a mental institution for my own protection and I know for a fact if I didn't have you guys I would have done it.

I experienced every possible emotion over these past few days and it's finally settled. I won't bore you with all the details but here is the final outcome: I am moving back to Pennsylvania (where I am originally from) to be near my family - and my daughter is coming with me! I didn't even have to fight, I just said "I'm moving and so are you" she was sooo happy, and has been dancing around the house all night. My stbx agreed that this is best for us all. Our divorce is almost settled, just waiting on the final draft but everything is agreed upon so there will be no more bickering about that. He has my "payoff" so I am free to go, my sister and brother in law are looking for somewhere for me to live because I don't want to move in with anyone. I even contacted my daughters new school in PA and am faxing her transcripts in the morning. We are so happy and excited.

Now the bad part.....my poor little Jen. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to tell her I was leaving. Her big beautiful brown eyes just welled up with tears and she begged me not to go, or to take her with us, I don't know where the strength came from to tell her no. I explained to my daughter that I would be spending time with Jen before I left, and she was more than understanding. I also told her that I was going to keep in touch after I leave and warned of the possibility that Jen would be moving back in with us someday when the timing was better. She said ok. Jen is afraid I will lose interest in her or find someone else, I am afraid she will. If we were meant to be we can make it through. Many survive long distance relationships and I hope we can. I will miss her so much, I want her to be with me, but I am going to give my daughter the time she needs and deserves. Jen seems to understand but that doesn't make it any easier. I am hoping that she can join us in under a year, but I am not going to set a date. When my daughter can handle it, that's when it will happen.

OK, well, thank you again. If any of you ever think your posts aren't life changing for some people, think again. I mean it when I say you all participated in saving my life. Because of you my daughter has a mother, and Jen has a girlfriend. If they only knew....I will just say thanks agin on their behalf.

Many, many hugs and smooches! Sandra

Sandr

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 8:46pm
(((((Sandra)))))

Best of luck to you in Pennsylvania (I grew up in PA also . . .)

I'm very impressed with your ability to make decisions and get on with it. I do hope things work out with you and Jen, but if not, you have learned so much about yourself throughout this process and will be better off for it.

Hugs to you and DD,

Scarlett

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 10:45pm
((((((Hugs to You, your daughter, and Jen))))))).
Hope you get to come and post still after your move..."CAT"

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 11:22pm
Your story has sent chills down my spine. I am praying for your get together again. Your daughter sounds like she knows what mom likes so build on that with your daughter. But being alone without a partner is very lonely. I only wish I had half the wits, brains and feelings as this board has. Maybe I would be coupled again. Good luck with your relationship.

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