alright, am questioning my approach...
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alright, am questioning my approach...
| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 3:21am |
i don't know if it's just me but i've been lately wondering about how i tend to fall for someone... the older i get, the faster i seem to know when someone is right for me. i don't think this is wrong, i see the good side of it but what's wrong with this picture, is that i *seem* to leave so many things out that gets in the way for a real relationship to develop. i don't know if i'm being open-minded or a real DOOFUS - the second last time i fell for someone was a guy who was everything i wanted in a partner, nothing more, nothing less--but he was GAY. i actually entertained the idea that i could persuade him to be bi, but ok, i dropped that because in the end, I knew he could never be satisfied with just a woman. (And i'm still carrying a torch for him, btw!!!) the last time i fell for a girl who is perfect except for the fact that she is considerably younger, and despite the fact she is very mature for her age-i just don't see us LASTING together-if it does happen, maybe in 6-8 years, at the least-and i know i can't/won't wait. i just tune in to certain aspects of the personality, that i like very much and tune out the rest. i think i'm tuning in and tuning out the wrong things... and yeah, i am very fussy, lol.
how does it happen for you?
do you have in your mind a shopping list (ok, in the broadest generous terms) and when you meet that someone, everything just clicks and you just know, kind of fast? How was it with that special someone you have right now?
Or does it generally take time for you to get to know someone, then you give yourself permission to fall?
And have you fallen hard for innappropriate persons? if you have how did you extricate yourself?
i don't know what's with me, lol!!!

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Hey not str8, Gigi here, those are some great questions.
I guess I can add my two cents.....
do you have in your mind a shopping list(ok in the broadest generous terms)and when you meet that someone, everything just clicks and you just know, kind of fast? How was it with that special someone you have right now?
Ans. Well, I know for myself, that I do have my criteria and expectations. I talk with whoever it is that I'm in a relationship with and I find out where they're coming from. When I first meet someone and everything just clicks, then I have a pretty good idea that things will work out, but then I have to slow down and look at the deeper things that are there. Like, for example, devotion, patience, understanding, etc.
Or does it generally take time for you to get to know someone, then give yourself permission to fall?
Ans. well, for me, it's a combination of the two. It's like finding a special flower and I have to know everything about it, yet when I discover everything, I start to fall in love with it, and it becomes a part of me.
And have you fallen hard for inappropriate persons? if you have, how did you extricate yourself.
Ans. Well, usually like the flower that I have fallen for? If I think I'm allergic to it, then I try to leave it alone, but I find that I've become so wrapped around it, that it's hard to let go, so I leave it alone gradually, until I don't think about it anymore.
Well, I can understand how you feel. I fall quick and hard. I have to watch it sometimes, because I can loose myself, which isn't a healthy thing. But then I realize that I can think about that special someone and go on with my daily activities and know at some point that I will be talking with them again. Take it easy.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
i think the reason i'm this way is i've been insulated in a relationship for sooo long, nearly a decade, that to rediscover these feelings is kind of exciting-in the sense i'm allowing myself to really feel for people i know can be soulmates. before that, i think i've been afraid to really love.
alright, i will remember to take it slowww.
Well I will toss in my 2 cents here and say on My shopping list there is only ever one thing
"friendship"
I never Looked for anyone in my life personally.
*hugs ~ Caly
Hey not_str8!
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
OK, you all knew I was going to comment on this quote....
not str8, I am in love with a much younger woman, she is 17 years younger and at a very very different place in her life than I am. It does make things a little more complicated at times. BUT, we are friends above all else, because like the others said, that is most important. Sex is a great thing, don't get me wrong, but it shouldn't be the basis of a good relationship. I wasn't sure if your term "inappropriate" was directed at the possibility of having a relationship with a younger woman, but unless she is a minor I don't see it as inappropriate at all. If she is "perfect" then begin a friendship with her and see where it goes from there, you may be missing out on the love of your life.
Good luck and keep us posted! Hugs, Sandra
Sandr
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