I'm in..so now how do I come out??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
I'm in..so now how do I come out??
4
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 3:05pm
This is such a two sided story....I'm happier then I've ever been before...and I'm scared to death...

My GF and I decided to commit last night....prior to this revelation we were basically just casually dating on the DL...but last night we had the "talk" and decided that a commited relationship is what both of us want from each other....

NOW the question is how do I tell my friends and family????? I've been straight for 29 yrs, this is my first lesbian relationship and only 4 ppl in my "friend cirle" know, all of her friends know about us (she's been out since High School)...They have been very supportive mainly because they are all gay...but the 2 friends of mine that are straight have also been very supportive but the others, well, I'm scared to death on how they will react and how my family will react....

GF has put no pressure on me to come "out", she says only tell those that I know will be supportive but in only telling certain ppl I feel like it would be looked at as if I'm ashamed of us, and I'm not...not at all...I adore her and want to scream from the highest mountain I'm so happy...but the thought of loosing some of my closest/longest friends breaks my heart....and my family...There are many many of them that won't get it and will probably send the Preacher to my door...W

hat's the best way to break this kind of news to ppl that have known you forever and never had a clue you would be attracted to another woman much less fall in love???

Any input is appreciated....(-;

Tori

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:09pm
Tori, Welcome! I am so happy for you, that you have found love. I am in a similar situation and not many people know it. I decided that eventually people will figure it out. I am not going to offer the information, but will never deny it. The ones that really love me will accept my choice. You need to do what is most comfortable for you since all of our lives are pretty unique. Keep us posted! Sandra

OH, I LOVE your discussion title!

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 7:43pm
Congratulations! I agree with Sandra... no need to go out of your way to say so, tell those that are important to you, otherwise just relish in your relationship. I'd not make any effort to hide it from anyone... if they can't deal with it, that is their issue, not yours.

*hugs* and best wishes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 10:50pm

That's a hard one Tori.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:45am

Hi Tori. I agree with the others. There is no need to go out of your way to come out. But at the same time, I can completely understand your desire to do so. When you are in love, it is SO hard not to tell people. But it can be such a hard thing to do. As you can probably tell from this round about post, I struggle with this too. I think you just have to judge each situation as it comes up and decide the best course of action for that moment. One thing I've noticed, the more out you are, the easier it gets to come out.


BTW ~ I got your email and responded. Let me know if it didn't come through :)


Hugs!


~C