My parents ~ rant/vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
My parents ~ rant/vent
46
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 8:59am

Just needed to get out.


Little sister, M, had her birthday Friday. So I sent her a big package with her presents in it. I sent to her in care of my grandparents, cause I had this feeling that if it was sent to my parent's house she would never get it. Anyways, it arrived on Thursday and my grandparents took it over to her. I talked to her Friday morning and she had opened a couple of the presents, was saving the rest for later, and loved them. Fast forward to Saturday night, I called again just to say hi. Little brother answered the phone and I talked to him awhile and then asked to speak to M. Well she can't come to the phone cause she is grounded. Part of her grounding was from phone privleges which makes me mad all by itself because it primarily affects me, she only very rarely talks to anyone else on the phone, but ok fine, no big deal. So then I ask him what else she is grounded from, he starts listing things and guess what? She is only grounded from things that relate to ME. She can't talk on the phone, she's not allowed to read her letters that she got from me on Saturday, and the presents that I got her have been put away ~ for 6 weeks! She's still allowed to play with friends, go outside, and play with any toys/things that are from anyone else but me. So I asked to speak to my mother just to make sure I was getting it right, and sure enough. The whole box of things I sent her, plus the letters have been put away till she's not grounded anymore.


Ugh!


My parents hate the fact that I have, and always have had,

~C

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 9:43am

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Courtney))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) There's nothing that I can say (TOS don't ya know), but know that I am very sorry that you and your sibs have to endure this.

~ ML ~  

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 10:21am
Geeeeeezeeee courtney,

what is your parents deal?

That is way wrong!

Why would they be like that?

Sorry it is so bad!

I just didn't know how bad.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 10:52am

(((((( Court ))))))


I am so sorry that you , the sweetest person I have the honor to know, have to put up with '' parents '' that would do that to their own children.


Know that the babies LOVE YOU, know that YOU LOVE THEM, and that your '' parents '' have a huge problem with jealousy ( among other demons ).


That is all I can write without TOS problems, so I will leave it there because this just ( TOS Applied ) me to no end !!!


MANY HUGE TIGHT HUGGLES my little one,


Robin

 **Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**   

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 11:39am
Courtney,

That is just so awful. I don't understand why they wouldn't want you to have a close relationship with your siblings. Apparently, they are afraid of something. But what, I have no idea. I'm sure you probably have your senses as to why they would not promote a close bond with your siblings. I think this is so sad. Growing up, I always wanted a brother or sister (I'm an only child). I cannot imagine what it must be like to feel cut off from those you love. I'm so sorry for that. Hopefully, your parents will come around and change their attitude. It is good to vent. That is one of the great things about this board--you can come and vent.

Take care,

rj

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 1:13pm
Courtney, I can only think of one thing to say....WHY? That's very odd, why are they acting like that? Big Hug, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 1:24pm
dear courtney

its me tink

sorry just got to lazy to sign out and then sign back in

i wanted to tell you that i think this stinks and i am so sorry they are doing this

to you and your siblings, {{{{{{{Courtney}}}}}}}}

i know this hurts so much, i can relate, my mom did the same thing but for different

reasons and its been 20 years since I have seen my sisters and brothers, it is something

that will forever hurt as i loved my sisters and brother so much too.

the difference is i was far away from them always and i never lived with my sisters,but

be encouraged that all they have known is your love and they will not forget all that

you have done together,

hold on to what you have had with them ok, they will not forget you in any way and

just maybe find ways to keep letting them know you love them. Perhaps grandparents can

help you find a way to keep in touch that wont get the siblings grounded or keep your

parents saying ugly things to them about you forgetting them. Let them know that no matter

what you wont forget them that some way you will find a way to keep in touch.

thinking of you Courtney.. will keep you and them in my thoughts ( and prayers if ok

with you)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 1:32pm

Ya know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 1:48pm


Courtney, all I can do is just agree with what has just been said.

Many, Multiples of gentle hugs.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 3:29pm

Thanks ML. I feel a lot better just venting it out.


((((((((((Hugs))))))))))


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 3:46pm

Thanks Laurie. My parents are like that because they want to make me look bad. What they don't realize is, its themselves that look bad. M knows that I had nothing to do with getting her grounded and she knows that I didn't forget her birthday. Those are two important points for me. So the fact that she is grounded only from things having to do with me, just seems like an odd punishment to her, but she won't associate it with something I did or caused. The kids have a sort of quiet respect and obedience (not the right word, but I can't think of the right one just now) for me, that I have earned. They know that if I say no to something, it has basis in a very sound reasoning and that if they ask, I will justify my no. If I can't justify it, then I am completely open to revising it. I do not spank, ever, and I don't arbitrarily make rules and then randomly choose whether or not to enforce them. Because of these things, the kids *almost* always respect and abide by my decisions. And they respect the reasoning behind them, even if they don't like the final outcome. My parents are almost the total opposite of me when it comes to things like this. Therefore the kids don't carry this same amount of quiet respect for them. They challenge my parents at almost every turn. However, I have tried my hardest to instill in the kids that they must respect and obey our parents, even if it doesn't seem fair. The fact that I do that, further makes my parents angry at me, because they know they can't sit back and claim that I am trying to turn the kids against them. All evidence is to the contrary.


Alright, I'll quit now, didn't mean to write a whole 'nother novel. The shorter answer is that my parents are like this because they don't like me, they never have, but despite their best efforts, the kids look up to and adore me to a degree that they most likely never will with my parents.


~C

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