My parents ~ rant/vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
My parents ~ rant/vent
46
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 8:59am

Just needed to get out.


Little sister, M, had her birthday Friday. So I sent her a big package with her presents in it. I sent to her in care of my grandparents, cause I had this feeling that if it was sent to my parent's house she would never get it. Anyways, it arrived on Thursday and my grandparents took it over to her. I talked to her Friday morning and she had opened a couple of the presents, was saving the rest for later, and loved them. Fast forward to Saturday night, I called again just to say hi. Little brother answered the phone and I talked to him awhile and then asked to speak to M. Well she can't come to the phone cause she is grounded. Part of her grounding was from phone privleges which makes me mad all by itself because it primarily affects me, she only very rarely talks to anyone else on the phone, but ok fine, no big deal. So then I ask him what else she is grounded from, he starts listing things and guess what? She is only grounded from things that relate to ME. She can't talk on the phone, she's not allowed to read her letters that she got from me on Saturday, and the presents that I got her have been put away ~ for 6 weeks! She's still allowed to play with friends, go outside, and play with any toys/things that are from anyone else but me. So I asked to speak to my mother just to make sure I was getting it right, and sure enough. The whole box of things I sent her, plus the letters have been put away till she's not grounded anymore.


Ugh!


My parents hate the fact that I have, and always have had,

~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 7:15pm

Gambling and alcoholism?


Well, you really needn't say any more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 4:08am

The how and why of my parents. That's something I've spent my whole life trying to figure out. Well it sounds nuts, cause its so petty, but I think the reason they started out not liking me is because I wasn't the child they wanted. They wanted a son. Males in my family are highly prized. Females are just the ones that marry and make babies. But a boy... The ultrasound tech said that he thought I was a boy. This was very early 80's ultrasounds, far less reliable than they are now, and they still aren't perfect. But the techs

~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 4:17am

I was an only for 4.5 years. I rarely talk about my sister that's closest to my age. We do not get along very well, never have. My parents were always pitting us against one another and making unfavorable comparisons. Its hard to form a relationship with someone whom you're competing with for love and attention. I thought we had begun making inroads to change that somewhat and then I found out she was screwing me over quite badly and that brought any attempts at relationship rehabilitation to a screeching halt on my part and there it will stay.


The kids to whom I refer so often are 11, 8, and 5. I was almost 12, 15, and 18, respectively when they were born. Too old for such competition and comparisons. I fell in love with each of them instantly and because I started homeschooling shortly before the 11 year old was born and then did night classes at university in order to care for them during the day, I was home with all of them from day one until I moved here. Even the brief time when I lived away from home, with roommates, I still cared for them each day while my parents worked and then would often go over after class to put them to bed at night before going back to my roommates place. The bond that I have formed with each of them is absolutely unshakable, which, I think, is why my parents try so hard to shake it.


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 4:21am

Thanks so much (((((((((((((((my friend)))))))))))))). I know your ex has really put you through the wringer when it comes to trying to show your boys how much you love them. Trying to hurt us by punishing them is only going to backfire in the end, I really believe that. ((((((((((((Big hugs to you)))))))))))


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 4:30am

Thanks Pam. I did look into and found one in Roanoke, which is exactly midway between here and school. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll have to look into it. Hugs!


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 6:35am

((((((((((Courtney)))))))))))) I'm glad that you found a group.

~ ML ~  

Avatar for tookie12
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:16am
I don't think there is anyway of replying to this post without violating the TOS

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my blog....where i scoop the poop

htt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:20am

Just a wee bit of advice, knowing how self sufficient and no nonsense you are in certain areas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:41am

What is ACA?


Kim
Check out my

Avatar for tookie12
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:44am
Adult Children of Alcoholics

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my blog....where i scoop the poop

htt