:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
:(
14
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 6:45pm
I've been disowned by my daughters. My eldest emailed me last night saying she was disappointed in me for not yet working. I've literally sent out hundreds of applications, and keep right on doing so. She also chastised me for looking for "great jobs," though she knows nothing of what I've applied for, which have included several receptionist positions. I'm not being fussy at all, there is no way I can earn what I used to, and likely will make at best 1/5th of before. What hurts is that this is sent to me even though she never bothers to call... I call her, but haven't much lately because she is always busy.

I responded out of frustration, and mentioned being hurt about never hearing from her, and that I will repay the money she lent me (when my business was shut down, my earnings stopped and funds frozen) to pay for my attorney. Believe me, all of this stuff is on my mind and will be taken care of as soon as I am working, would never let it go.

She works for her mom, and that compounds the problem... my ex is so very bitter, she has wished me dead (told my sister that) and has now succeeded in getting my kids to hate me. I received that note a half hour before heading out for an interview, and hope like heck I was composed during it. Anyway, she must be very happy to have them doing this. All I can do is continue looking for work, and take care of things. As of right now, I've no family accept my mom and sister.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:00pm

Oh nelle, I am so sorry. This has to really hurt!


I have to say though, it looks like you've absolutely nailed the real driving force behind their words, in their mother. As much as it won't improve the way you feel right now... I think you know how fluid kids emotions are. It may take some time, but eventually most people come to make up their own minds... kids included.


I'm not going to even try to offer you any advice hon. You're a great person and a loving parent, they WILL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:02pm
I'm very sorry! (((((((HUGS))))))))) Anyway, I know this doesn't help alot, but lots of ladies here really like you. And, for what it is worth, I don't think you should have been treated this way.

It is tough for a lot of unemployed Americans right now. I think your family should be giving you support instead of trying to tear you down.

(((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

rj

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:08pm

(((((((((((((((Raye))))))))))))))) I wish I had something that I could offer aside from the hugs, but I've not been the most graceful with my words lately and don't want to say the wrong thing.

~ ML ~  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:57pm



Raye, even though we're not your biological family, you have family here in this community. {{{{{{{{{{Raye}}}}}}}}}}

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:04pm
Awwww nelle,

I don't know the whole story, but Bitterness can make a person very mean.

I am sorry about your daughter saying such a hurtful thing to you.

I really do not know what to say. I do hope that you find a good job soon.

To bad dd and ex let money come before family and love.

Hugs and kisses,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:21pm

So true.


I got my termination notice nine months before my contract was to expire.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 9:06pm
((((((Nelle Hon))))))))I am so sorry this has happened to you..
You know as well as anyone you have tried and are doing your best.. ~S~ has had a time of it also finding work.. Either they don't call her or they do and get her hopes up then don't call again or they treat her oddly because I am sure of her way of looking (which is herself) but people.. a lot of them... discriminate..
I was poisoned for years by my Mom against my Dad from a young age.. It's sad it goes on.. But when I became older.. of age.. I went and sought him out and ya know? He had downfalls... things that I didn't care for.. but we all do...He also had many wonderful things about him.. A lot I have like him.... the good and not so good...

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:21pm
Nelle, I am very sorry about your daughter. I asked my daughter what would fix this if her and I were in your situation and she said I few things I wanted to pass along...maybe it will help. First of all, the fact that your daughter has a job probably makes her think they are easy to get, what she doesn't probably consider is that her mom gave her a job. (at least thats what I took from your post) Second, I am not sure of your daughters age but money seems more valuable to them than it does with older people who have already learned that relationships are priceless. When she gets older, she will realize the pain she is causing you right now. I would do anything, with the exception of breaking the law, to return her money, with interest, as soon as possible. Take out a loan, sell things, borrow from someone else. Your effort to repay her, or partially repay her will help. When she looks back on this time later in life, she will see you for the wonderful parent you are and not respect her mother for talking bad about you. She will come around, you are not replacable. Again, I am sorry, and I hope you got that job you interviewed for! You guys are scaring me, I have to job hunt as soon as I get to PA in a few weeks and I wasn't really worried about it - I am now! Love and hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:30pm

((((((((((((rayeellen))))))))))))


I am so sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
In reply to: rayeellen
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:53pm
i don't know what i can say to make you feel any better, rayeellen, this must feel like being kicked in the stomach, to say the least. i don't know, i don't have kids, but i've a brother i've looked out for, for a long time and when he just does things that feel like betrayal, it does take the breathe out of me... well, it's different from any kind of pain i know, and i've only been able to be a partial caregiver...

well, i don't really know your situation but being without a job must certainly be tough-i mean, here we are trying to make the best out of the situation, as far as we're concerned things might be manageable but other ppl have to go make things hard(er) for us... lol, it SUCKS but it happens, too often... i don't know why, there isn't a quick fix to this, but people want a quick fix... so our unemployed state, our reduced resources... don't give them... problems? Maybe because of all the expectations they have of us as to the role we ought to be playing in their lives, maybe because they think we're not falling in with the beat of their drummer, etc, etc and etc... or it's a status quo thing... how will we make them look?... unless they're in a position/have the means to help us get back to our feet (whether in the form of emotional support, knowing how things can work better, or money) often it's more about them than us...

would it help to know that you're not alone in taking career risks (as in any business venture) and/or losses, and that as long as you have your health, your intelligence, your heart, your spirit even if you may earn just 1/5 of what you used to earn before, it doesn't matter you can slowly climb back up... this is soemthing that happens to sooo many people who take chances, and nothing that anyone ought to be ashamed about. Even if you don't recoup your full salary range, it shouldn't matter as long as you're clear about what you want at this point in time, are working towards it? it shouldn't matter. you're doing your best. (((hugs))) for your hurt.

Pages