No one believes I'm a lesbian . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
No one believes I'm a lesbian . . .
27
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:45pm
Hi all. I've had a little trouble with my network connection lately and have been unable to stay on the internet, but I've been catching up reading here and there. Sending hellos to all of you!

Newest dilemma:

It's doesn't seem that anyone believes that I'm really a lesbian. I'm hearing a lot of things from a lot of people including my stbx husband, and my oldest friend. My stbx says that I'm just going through a phase, my oldest friend says that she's known me my whole life and has always seem me attracted to guys, and to make it all worse, gf's friends and sisters all have something to say about my "sudden transformation," and think that I'll probably change my mind and go back to men.

Should this bother me? Is there a checklist that I need to fill out and send in somewhere? These are the conclusions that I've come up with on my own:

1. I'm in love with a woman.

2. I would rather have dental work done that to sleep with another man.

3. I regret all of the time that I wasted having sex with men when I could have been having sex with women.

4. If I were single, I wouldn't want to date guys. (Well maybe I would let them buy me dinner, but that's all.)

I could go on, but you all get the picture I'm sure. Is this a common response from people? Have any of you experienced this? It's all confusing enough, then to have people doubt that I even know what I want makes me feel like I'm crazy.

Thanks in advance for all of your wisdom and support!

Scarlett

Scarlett
my blog

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:56pm
Scarlett my friend, welcome back -I missed you.

Well, I get the same thing here. I have only been with one other woman and that was in high school and I never told anyone. So, it appears to the world that I am going through a phase. Cat said something to me yesterday that I decided to use if confronted on my "fake lesbianism" I am going to reply that I am a lesbian by choice. That will take care of that. I choose to sleep with women and people can call me whatever they want. As far as I know there is no membership application, but I believe we have to pay dues to be in this club. I am prepared to do that. Your checklist and mine are very similar. I can't even imagine myself sleeping with a man ever again. Truth be told, I am more worried about acceptance in the gay community than with straight people. I worry they won't accept my past (so I probably won't mention it)or maybe they will think I am just experimenting. I may be, but the result of the experiment is in and I am a lesbian. No one can tell you what you are or how to feel. Try and accept their comments as ignorance due to lack of understanding. Hang in there!

How are things going? My divorce was finalized and I am moving to Penn. My family is there. My husband never found out about my girlfriend, I hoped he wouldn't because I didn't want to hurt his ego/feelings. We are all getting along great. Well, fill us in on your progress, are you still with your girlfriend? Did she leave her partner?

Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:08pm
((((Sandra))))) Thanks so much for asking how things are going, you are so sweet. I read that you are moving back to PA (I also grew up there,) and I wish you the very, very best.

Things with me are actually quite good. My stbx is being quite accomodating in regards to the spousal support thing. It looks like we're going to put our house on the market and things are moving right along. I'm not going to move out until the paperwork is filed. My kids are handling things pretty well too.

Gf and I are still together and still very much in love. She is seperated from her partner and things are moving along there as well. We have decided not to make any "plans" for our relationship for at least six months and that has relieved a lot of pressure from both of us to hurry through our individual issues. We want to have a healthy relationship, not one that is filled with all kinds of heavy stuff to sort through. We are planning on dating and trying to support each other without losing ourselves in the other persons drama.

That's about it I guess. I have good days and bad days and I'm just trying to get through.

Hugs to you again Sandra,

Scarlett

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:27pm

Oh good grief.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:32pm
Scarletter and sandra,

Did you remember to take your lesbian exams? If so, did you pass and get your valid Lesbian Identity cards.

We do not really have recruiters because our insentives suck.

That is why we just give the "test".

You need to go to the lesbian testing center in your area, or log onto www.lesbiantestingcenter.com and download the test. You will have to deliver the test to your local testing center so they can watch you complete a tire rotation on your car to complete and recieve all of your credentials.

You will then be tested on your knowledge of cats and dogs and be given your own lesbian pool/cue stick to carry with you to bars.

Then everyone will believe.
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:45pm

Laurie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:57pm
Pam,

I think those dykes on bikes need to get some cell phones!

They are so busy on their bikes they are never there to answer the phones.

Geeze they could at least leave a message-

"We are dykes on bikes so we can't come to the phone, duh." Something... you know?

As far as your book goes, yes, I think somewhere there is a "Mail Dyke" studying for the old test. She is probably getting a mullett cut and rolling her cigs in her t-shirt sleeves as we speak.

Haaaaa,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:04am
Oh good Lord, I have to do a tire rotation? I don't think I could even change a tire to save my life, (that's what AAA is for.) I think I should be okay on the cats and dogs test, but then I have to learn to shoot pool? I might need some help studying up for this exam, is there a study group forming anywhere in my area, (I live in the Pacific NW?)

Any help is appreciated!

Scarlett

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:07am
Laurie, Have I ever mentioned I love you! You crack me up....always. I'm going to take my test now....and will be looking for my membership card. WHEN I pass the test and become an official member, instead of a pool stick do you think I could get a tee shirt or something? Or one of those rainbow bumper stickers? Is there prize choices? Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:09am
MAYBE you caught it (your gayness)from the same person who originated this cold/flu epidemic. I promise you Pam, I will find out who did this and they will pay...RRRRRR RUFF!Spike

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:11am
Is she carrying a poolstick, does she have cat hair on her uniform? That would be a dead giveaway!

Sandr

Pages