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| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 11:39am |
First I want to thank all of you ladies who've supported us through this latest difficult time. I wish I could say that from here on end, there will BE no more rough times, that break up will never be in our vocabulary again. And if it were up to me, I would--because in my eyes, life is too short and when you've found someone to love that loves you, ALL obstacles should be something that can be overcome. But then, despite life teaching me some hard lessons along the way, I've always had that part of me that can be idealistic at times. In a perfect world life sure would be easier and love would take no effort!!
As you know, this time I initiated the breakup because I was hurting beyond hurt and felt I'd exhausted all my options. I mean, there is only so much you can do anyway living 800 miles away from the person you love but Sandy was limiting me even further in her own pain and so I gave her what I felt she wanted and didn't have the courage to ask for. I also thought I was giving myself a break from the pain of loving someone who had nothing to give right now. What I didn't realize is that I'd have regrets almost immediately. I thought of the few people in my life who've stuck by me through the years as I dealt with the sexual abuse and how I'd have felt if they left me suddenly in the midst of my "acting out" to deal with the pain. And so I ended up writing to Sandy and reassuring her of my love and the fact that I did NOT want to do this but felt up against a wall. She didn't answer right away and so the following day I wrote an email saying basically "I love you, I always will but I'll leave you alone if that's what you want..." She called me later that afternoon and said she does love me and always will. We began to talk and talked for about an hour that first night. I hung up feeling better about things, like we had love and the rest would work itself out as she began feeling better about her own life.

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Thank you for that sweet Bob the cat story.
Sometimes I swear I am still here because of my pets. They depend on us so much. And love us so unconditionaly.
Hope all is well as can be,
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
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