Need major answers if u know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Need major answers if u know what to do
7
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 11:52pm
Sorry, long post all. My seventeen year old son wants to move back up here with mom. For the past three years he has been living with dad in FL. and has gotten into so much trouble. (Costing his father numerous dollars for attorneys.) Father when they left promised him the world so he went. The world has come crashing down numerous times and dad has baled him out. They live in Ocala and the nearest people are in the trailer park next to them. Son now wants to come up to live. Dad is saying, he lies to get what he wants and then does not give a crap about anything. I know this is true when he was up for the month of August. I don't want to abandon him since he is my son but I refuse to have him run my life and live off from me. He is my son but refuse to have to support him. Just don't have the money. So reaching out to u all. Any suggestions on how to make this work. I hate to have to throw him out on the streets but if he can't work and such I don't want him here. I just can't afford it. I luv him dearly but will not go into more debt than I am already. Please, suggestions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 1:01am

(((((((Buterfli)))))))


I cannot tell you what to do.

Avatar for tookie12
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 7:58am
Been there, done that....still doing that! I could write a novel on this....more like an autobiography....but i wont. If you send me your e-mail through my profile we can talk via IM or something.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my blog....where i scoop the poop

htt

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 9:10am
Butterfli, Don't assume the worst. He may do better with you. Talk to him and explain the rules, and if he doesn't follow them then it's back to Dad he goes....give it a try, you may be pleasantly suprised!Also, you should have some extra income since you won't have to pay child support, make the boy get a job after school! Keep us posted, hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 4:02pm

No real advice here Butterfli, I think Pam and Sandra gave you some good starting points, and if you talk to Tookie she can give you some been there done that advice. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


Hugs!


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 10:39pm
Thank you all for your replies. I have put in a request to Tookie hoping she has some insight on this. It's like riding a roller coaster with my son. I luv him dearly but I will not allow him to waste his time here. As of tonight, his father brought him for testing for his GED. I don't know if what I hesitated about him coming up, (told him I need to think about it for a few days about him wanting to move up here). Anyway, he went for the testing. He passed with flying colors on the math and reading. His comprehension on reading was 10 grade level which is where he stopped going to school. He seems positive about what he is doing now but for how long? My daughter also gave him insight on the Job Corp. They do automotive Repair which is what he is interested in. Give room and board and an allowance for a month. At the moment daughter said he sounded excited. God help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 11:46pm
My 18 yr old nephew looked at the job corps program, it sounds like a good program. My nephew didn't go because he said there are too many rules, I guess they are strict. I think thats a good thing but my nephew would rather screw around than put an effort into anything. I think job corps would be a great idea. hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-02-2004 - 10:56pm
It does sound like a lot of rules for a kid but if you are a kid screwing up, and want to get straight, it sounds great. Fortunately, son called and talked with his older sister and said to forget what he said about moving back with mom. He went for test for GED. He passed math and comprehension with flying colors. He scored reading in the 10th grade which is good because that is what he was in. Just hoping he will continue this road to adulthood.