My heart is broken, literally...
Find a Conversation
My heart is broken, literally...
| Fri, 10-08-2004 - 10:53pm |
This must not be my year. I have not been feeling very good. I have been diagnosed with diabetes and needing surgery and a knee replacement.
This week I found out that I am in congestive heart failure. I have been at the V.A. Hospital and am now waiting to see if there is any other damage to my heart and what will happen when the echo pics of my heart come back.
They asked if I ever had a heart attack before. I said there were a couple of times when I said I thought I was having one but figured it was something/anything else but that because I am to young. They say it is possible to have had a heart attack in my passed.
I am only 44 years old and thinking what the heck???
Diabetes and heart problems are a problem on my mom's side of the family, but I am the only one in my immediate family with these problems. I thought I would be spared these health problems at least until I was way older.
I have to continue on water pills, execise, strict diet and wearing those lovely white hose up to my knees when just sitting around. (I'll bet victoria secret does not make any of those.) lol
I have to quit smoking and let me tell you this has been the toughest thing of all.
They said at least cut back to half for now while losing weight. So I am really trying hard.
I have been afraid to just sit around but to tired not too.
I feel like a ticking time bomb and lastnight I just finally broke down and cried.
G/f was strong for me and got me to stop and calm down.
I keep feeling like eventually she will leave me for a healthier more active person like I used to be.
She swears not.
I have been able to talk to some people living with "CHF" that is the lingo for congestive heart failure. SO in a way I feel like I have a chance to get my self together for some good quality years ahead.
I do not know what they will do about my surgeries now though.
Wow! I hope there will be no more bad health news for me. I am hoping to work through this and turn in to a more physically fit person so that I can live at least a while longer the 5-10 years. Alot of people with "CHF" do. I have heard.
G/F has been off work to be with me. She has to go back tomorrow then off on Sunday.
I am pretty scared right now. I feel like I am in some big trouble health wise.
Well that is the low down on me for now. I need to catch up with the board.
Hugs,
Laurie
This week I found out that I am in congestive heart failure. I have been at the V.A. Hospital and am now waiting to see if there is any other damage to my heart and what will happen when the echo pics of my heart come back.
They asked if I ever had a heart attack before. I said there were a couple of times when I said I thought I was having one but figured it was something/anything else but that because I am to young. They say it is possible to have had a heart attack in my passed.
I am only 44 years old and thinking what the heck???
Diabetes and heart problems are a problem on my mom's side of the family, but I am the only one in my immediate family with these problems. I thought I would be spared these health problems at least until I was way older.
I have to continue on water pills, execise, strict diet and wearing those lovely white hose up to my knees when just sitting around. (I'll bet victoria secret does not make any of those.) lol
I have to quit smoking and let me tell you this has been the toughest thing of all.
They said at least cut back to half for now while losing weight. So I am really trying hard.
I have been afraid to just sit around but to tired not too.
I feel like a ticking time bomb and lastnight I just finally broke down and cried.
G/f was strong for me and got me to stop and calm down.
I keep feeling like eventually she will leave me for a healthier more active person like I used to be.
She swears not.
I have been able to talk to some people living with "CHF" that is the lingo for congestive heart failure. SO in a way I feel like I have a chance to get my self together for some good quality years ahead.
I do not know what they will do about my surgeries now though.
Wow! I hope there will be no more bad health news for me. I am hoping to work through this and turn in to a more physically fit person so that I can live at least a while longer the 5-10 years. Alot of people with "CHF" do. I have heard.
G/F has been off work to be with me. She has to go back tomorrow then off on Sunday.
I am pretty scared right now. I feel like I am in some big trouble health wise.
Well that is the low down on me for now. I need to catch up with the board.
Hugs,
Laurie

Pages
Hearing things like that is really good for me! I have known 2 older family members with this and they were bed ridden and on oxygen.
I have already cut way back on the cigs and have been doing my treadmill each day.
Mom say's she will walk with me at the mall and in her neighbor hood so we can walk the dogs. (To many people let their dogs run loose in my neighbor hood.)
As far as the smoking goes, yes I would love to do that with you. I really want to quit as soon as possible. It is so hard.
We promised to take a hotair ballon ride for my b-day this spring. I will not give in to depression I hope, but I know what you mean, I feel like I have been going through a greif and loss thing.
I am actually afraid to go to sleep incase I do not wake up. To think I could have had a heart attack and not known it is very freaky.
I am also afraid of all my meds. What if they are causing me problems, side effects etc.
I am soooo glad that I have therapy tuesday.
It is good to have LL to come too. Especially late at night when I cannot sleep.
Thank you for the positive and kind words.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Thanks!
How is Gmary and you sis's family? I hope things are looking up and moving forward for them. Have they been able to get any repairs done yet? Has b-in-law been able to keep his job?
Hugs and xxxxx back,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I do agree with Pam in that quitting smoking should be your first battle...It WILL be hard (I WAS a 3 pack a dayer) but from what I have read you have fought much tougher battles in your life...
Good Luck!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
my blog....where i scoop the poop
htt
{{{{{{{{{{{Laurie}}}}}}}}}}} Know that my thoughts and prayers are with ya hun!
~ ML ~![]()
>I feel like I have been going through a greif and loss thing.
You would not be normal if you were not feeling grief and loss at a time like this.
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
>but I will say that really SUCKS!
That too!
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
(((((( Laurie ))))))
Many huge hugs and healing vibes coming your way. Please do listen to the doctors and Miss Pam, you & your health are very important to us. I wish I could kiss it and make it better, but as I well know we have to take care of the situations sent our ways.
Many angel hugs to you and ~S~
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
18 years ago, I went to donate platelets for my son of my ex's employer. They check me, tell me I have an arrhythmia and to see a doctor pronto... no can donate. So I leave there totally shook. Three days later, I am working on our back yard, and my chest starts giving me grief. I had just seen the doctor, and worn a monitor for a day... anyway, he tells us to go to the emergency room... we go, they admit me into intensive care, and I'm scared silly. They start running all sorts of tests... the dumb monitor is showing my heart rhythm is irregular, which only makes me more scared. Finally later that night the doctor comes in to say there was no heart attack, but have to stay to do tests. I was there for four days... the second night he tells me he suspects it is something called a mitral valve prolapse, and if so... no big deal. They run these tests, and it is confirmed. Confirmed... but part of my brain had this "what if it isn't?" in the back of it. My diet changed, and was totally careful with it, took me years to get past that. My sister has the same thing, and at times it can be like a tickling feeling, doesn't hurt, but can feel it jump around. I had some chocolate that affected me a week ago.
Fear is the hardest thing to get past... don't be afraid to talk about it. I was, and think it hindered getting past it.
*hugs*
Dear Laurie,
Laurie!
Kim
Check out my
Pages