My heart is broken, literally...
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My heart is broken, literally...
| Fri, 10-08-2004 - 10:53pm |
This must not be my year. I have not been feeling very good. I have been diagnosed with diabetes and needing surgery and a knee replacement.
This week I found out that I am in congestive heart failure. I have been at the V.A. Hospital and am now waiting to see if there is any other damage to my heart and what will happen when the echo pics of my heart come back.
They asked if I ever had a heart attack before. I said there were a couple of times when I said I thought I was having one but figured it was something/anything else but that because I am to young. They say it is possible to have had a heart attack in my passed.
I am only 44 years old and thinking what the heck???
Diabetes and heart problems are a problem on my mom's side of the family, but I am the only one in my immediate family with these problems. I thought I would be spared these health problems at least until I was way older.
I have to continue on water pills, execise, strict diet and wearing those lovely white hose up to my knees when just sitting around. (I'll bet victoria secret does not make any of those.) lol
I have to quit smoking and let me tell you this has been the toughest thing of all.
They said at least cut back to half for now while losing weight. So I am really trying hard.
I have been afraid to just sit around but to tired not too.
I feel like a ticking time bomb and lastnight I just finally broke down and cried.
G/f was strong for me and got me to stop and calm down.
I keep feeling like eventually she will leave me for a healthier more active person like I used to be.
She swears not.
I have been able to talk to some people living with "CHF" that is the lingo for congestive heart failure. SO in a way I feel like I have a chance to get my self together for some good quality years ahead.
I do not know what they will do about my surgeries now though.
Wow! I hope there will be no more bad health news for me. I am hoping to work through this and turn in to a more physically fit person so that I can live at least a while longer the 5-10 years. Alot of people with "CHF" do. I have heard.
G/F has been off work to be with me. She has to go back tomorrow then off on Sunday.
I am pretty scared right now. I feel like I am in some big trouble health wise.
Well that is the low down on me for now. I need to catch up with the board.
Hugs,
Laurie
This week I found out that I am in congestive heart failure. I have been at the V.A. Hospital and am now waiting to see if there is any other damage to my heart and what will happen when the echo pics of my heart come back.
They asked if I ever had a heart attack before. I said there were a couple of times when I said I thought I was having one but figured it was something/anything else but that because I am to young. They say it is possible to have had a heart attack in my passed.
I am only 44 years old and thinking what the heck???
Diabetes and heart problems are a problem on my mom's side of the family, but I am the only one in my immediate family with these problems. I thought I would be spared these health problems at least until I was way older.
I have to continue on water pills, execise, strict diet and wearing those lovely white hose up to my knees when just sitting around. (I'll bet victoria secret does not make any of those.) lol
I have to quit smoking and let me tell you this has been the toughest thing of all.
They said at least cut back to half for now while losing weight. So I am really trying hard.
I have been afraid to just sit around but to tired not too.
I feel like a ticking time bomb and lastnight I just finally broke down and cried.
G/f was strong for me and got me to stop and calm down.
I keep feeling like eventually she will leave me for a healthier more active person like I used to be.
She swears not.
I have been able to talk to some people living with "CHF" that is the lingo for congestive heart failure. SO in a way I feel like I have a chance to get my self together for some good quality years ahead.
I do not know what they will do about my surgeries now though.
Wow! I hope there will be no more bad health news for me. I am hoping to work through this and turn in to a more physically fit person so that I can live at least a while longer the 5-10 years. Alot of people with "CHF" do. I have heard.
G/F has been off work to be with me. She has to go back tomorrow then off on Sunday.
I am pretty scared right now. I feel like I am in some big trouble health wise.
Well that is the low down on me for now. I need to catch up with the board.
Hugs,
Laurie

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HI Laurie hun!
Im sooo sorry about your continuing medical woes, but as the good nurse Pam says, with the right medication and out look things will be fine! Sounds too like you have a wonderful support system with your family and g/f there and that alone will make things better I bet.
I totally understand the depression the thing and Pam is right, you cant let that demon get hold of you.
*hugs ~ Caly
Yeah it sucks! But it is good to have all this support from the LL Board and my family and friends and sweetie.
I have some phone numbers of people that I can call. These are people who heard from friends and family what I am going through. The numbers are for people living with CHF who told me to call if I would like to talk about it.
I am not shy and so I plan to call these people. I hope I can one day return the favor to someone else. It is so awesome to see how many people offer support in a time like this. It is very positive and uplifting.
Thanks for telling me it is normal to feel grief and loss. I was sort of feeling ashamed of myself. I do not want to climb up on a pity pot and waste away.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
You are such a sweetheart.
I know that you have been going through a tough time as well with health problems. I hope we can keep each other encouraged. I also belive that you have made a good choice in moving back home to be near friends and family. I feel so happy that I am not far away from my friends and family now.
big bear hugs to you,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Glad it is ok. My head was totaly spinning when they told me what was wrong. At first I did like you and thought they were making a mistake. I really did not believe it.
I even made them show me the computer monitor to make sure they were in my record and not someone elses.
I know that V.A. gets a bad rap sometimes, but they have been very good to me.
Hugs'
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Thank you for your kind words. I just might take you up on that offer. You don't even have to read my emails, I will just subject them as venting. lol.
You can still write me anytime. I have not heard from you this week and have been wondering if things are okay with you and with you and Sandy.
How has sandy been since the kids left or have they?
Hugs to you my cyber friend,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I was just thinking it is about time to pop on and give you a huddle break startle. Or did you take me off the buddy list by now. LOL.
I have been hearing so many uplifting and encouraging things that I feel I can make these life changes that need to be made, and live a pretty good quality life now. I do have to get my body back in condition and so I will really be tired for a while untill I build up more strength. But I know now that I can get back to a point where I can do more living, just at a slower pace. I have always had a doner thing on my drivers liscense and I was thinking that at least my kidneys and liver would help someone out. I always thought someone would get my heart and while I would take mine over none at all lol I know that I can no longer give someone a heart. That was always kind of important to me because of the family members lost from bad hearts.
Well, I am going to start working on this as if I am the poster girl for CHF lol. Maybe I can help someone some day who is going through this too. I know that the kind and positive words from people on this board and family, friends, and people I don't even personnaly know yet have done a lot of good. I have had my spirits lifted so much from where I was ealier this past week.
Thank you and hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I will take you up on the depression board offer. I know I need to be positive but sometimes (usually at night) I get a little bit down.
I know in my heart that sheila would never leave me. We have taken care of each other through many things. I have to remind myself how I felt when we found out that she had breast cancer. Nothing could have gotten in the way of my taking care of her and I felt like no one would have taken as good of care of her as I would.
And yes I will listen to Pam. Since she is a nurse saying this is not a death sentence I feel more positive. I really thought I was in the biggest trouble.
And I will take your word on the cute new ballance shoes. I will hunt for a pair of those first.
Thanks and hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I would recommend Saucony shoe. It is generally for running, but I buy them to walk and run in. I guess I should say Saucony is more known for being a running shoe, but they do sell "walking shoes." I've walked in Saucony shoes and have never had sore feet or abrasions on my heels, which is usually where I'll get abrasions from long walks if I'm wearing the wrong shoe.
The shape of your foot is important too. For me, I cannot wear narrow shoes. I need a wide tip on my shoes. This is why I very seldom purchase Nike, because they have a tendency to be narrow at the tip of the shoe. Also, I have a low arch. So, for me, I must purchase shoes with arch support.
It isn't only the shoe that is important. Invest in a good pair of "walking socks." Dick's sells them. I actually invested in several pairs of running socks. I'll warn you, they are expensive. Some can be as high as $10 a pair. But, they'll keep you from having foot problems from walking. They are usually thick, so purchase a pair and take them or wear them when you try on your shoes.
For running, there are two shoes so far that I get the most mileage and bang for my buck, Saucony and New Balance. But, I cannot walk in New Balance shoes. I can only run in them. Don't ask me why. I've never understood that. You may find that shoes are that way with you as well. I still think for the price and quality, one cannot get a better shoe than Saucony.
I hope this helps!
Hugs,
rj :)
rj
Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197
It sure does help! I never have heard of that shoe brand and I never even gave any thought to socks.
I have to be careful with my feet because of the diabetes so that is important to me.
I will get the socks first and then look at the Saucony and New Ballance shoes.
Thanks,
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
(((((((Laurie))))))))
Tee
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