Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Question
15
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:07am
Okay, I have pretty much established through therapy, reading, reflection, and ah . . . personal experience that I am indeed a lesbian, (even though no one else believes it.)

Here is one thing that I wonder about . . .

When gf and I go out to a place where there are a lot of lesbians (like a bar or club); I never check anyone out. I know how to check out guys, and I kind of do that without thinking about it, I'm just used to it. But I don't look around and think about other women. Is that a bad sign? I'm kind of just fixated on what I have in front of me, (my beautiful gf.)

My therapist says that it is part of the coming out process and I will notice other women in time. What do you all think? GF and I are planning on going out tonight for awhile, maybe I should conduct a science experiment? How would I go about that?

You are all my panel of experts, so fire away . . .

Love,

Scarlett

Scarlett
my blog

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:25am

ROFL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:57am


Scarletter, hey! Gigi here.

I can agree with Pam about looking at other women, if I were with someone, and we were out, I would not only look at her, I would look at other babes too, hoping that my potential girlfriend isn't the jealous type and I don't have to worry about being nagged half to death about, why I was looking at other women and blah, blah, blah! So, go ahead, look, and enjoy the sights!

Hugs.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 12:30pm
Pam speaketh wise words! Changing a lifetime of conditioning with the self revelation of being a dyke takes time. It is natural to worry, to look for signs we have it wrong, or don't do this or that right... if there is one thing I know, and there ain't much... is that we are all unique beings, with our own ways and thoughts, likes, dislikes, approaches to things, etc. There is no how to be a dyke and how to act like one manual. Be you and have fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 5:41pm
When my g/f and I go out I make sure she has a reason not to be checking out the other women.

And if you do, don't let her know about it! lol.

I think it is a good thing that what you have in front of you is enough to keep your mind on her. That is a good thing.

Has that ever happened when out with a b/f?

Maybe you are finally satisfied with who you have.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 9:10pm

>I make sure she has a reason not to be checking out the other women.


Haaaaaaaaa!


So that was you with her head under the table last Saturday night!


My, my, my!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 9:27pm
Yeah that was me! Did you see my feet kicking up?
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 9:30pm

ROFLMAO!


Yeppers!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:14pm
Hey scarletter..
Nothing wrong with being happy with who your with.. and paying all your attention there, but just relax and don't worry about how one is (supppose to act) be yourself and enjoy yourself..
I like Pam's idea.. When I go out with my ~S~ we talk like that ..Well maybe not that cause ~S~ never thinks beyond me ~~So Sweet..~~ She talks about us and whatever makes me **Smile**.. I do like to people watch.. I look at the clothes styles.. The hair styles and color jobs and the shoes and The way they dance and move.. The way they move together and geez a whole lot more..
Have a great time.. Stealing one of Laurie's lines here..(

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: scarletter
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:16pm
Everyone has given u very wise comments. Take everyone's suggestions. They are all right. Hoping for a good ending for u.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: scarletter
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 10:13am
OK, before I read what everyone else said about this I am going to put my two cents in. Why is it necessary to check out anyone else if you are in love with someone already? I know a woman that came out in her late 30's and she said she isn't a lesbian, she just likes this one particular woman. I say she was in denial, but she said she wasn't. I think she thought if she was attracted to anyone else it would validate her "lesbianism". In your case, you admit you are gay and are wondering why you aren't noticing anyone other than your girlfriend, I think you aren't noticing others because you love the one your with. Jen and I say "Do you think she's pretty" all the time, to see eachothers type, but neither of us look in an interested way. Jen is my type, so far, she's the only one. I cannot envision myself making love to anyone else. Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

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