I don't like this 'scary stage '
Find a Conversation
I don't like this 'scary stage '
| Tue, 10-12-2004 - 2:24pm |
I know from the posts I have gotten I have to go through this stage to move on from my divorce, what I didn't know is just how scary it is.
In about 3 weeks I will be living on my own for the first time in my life. I will have my own bills, my own appt., and no relationship. This is scaring the TOS out of me. It does get better, right ?
STBX is giving me all our marraige furniture, the appt is heat and hot water included, my car is there,

Pages
You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay.
It's so important to try to stay focused and moving forward; day by day and minute by minute. We never know what the journey is going to be like. If we knew then it sure would make life boring, wouldn't it?
You are in the process of creating and evolution in yourself; let it happen and keep it moving, don't stop, don't look back, don't regret.
You are going to be okay!
Love,
Scarlett
Scarlett
my blog
{{{{{{{{{{Wobin}}}}}}}}}}. Wobin, I agree with Scarletter. There are many advantages in living alone. I usually use the aloneness to get to know me better. I don't think your being a baby at all, really. You'll be ok, really.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
I have lived alone at times while in the navy and just getting settled in a new place at first. I don't like it personally. Some people love it.
I usually managed to find a friend to share the house or apt. with.
Maybe you will find someone you can live with. You have to be carefull though.
I mean look at Pams situation.
Make sure it is someone you know well, and always make a signed contract between the two of you even if you are at the time best friends. MAYBE FRIENDS OR FAMILY WILL STAY OVER WITH YOU SOMETIMES TOO. Sorry I did not mean to use caps.
Will you be close to family and friends?
I now always have a burgalar alarm and I feel safe because we accidently set it off one night and the police were here in no time, lol.
Or just get a nice big dog to bark.
I also sleep with the tv on when I am alone. somehow it feels like company.
Oh, and the dog does not have to be big. The police at are K-9 training center said that they rarely have break in when people have dogs of any size because the bad guy does not want to attract attention to himself. Plus neighbors will hear if anything is happening.
You might like to live alone because you won't have to worry about someone else not paying their share of the bill or getting in your way with company that you might not want in your place etc. Yeah, get a little or medium sized dog if the apt complex allows it.
I will even suggest which breeds for you in your apt. Dogs that bark but not to much. ETC.
Can I ask what state you are moving to?
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Hey hun~
Personally I couldnt wait to live alone again after being married for 13 years LOL.
*hugs ~ Caly
I've not yet read the subsequent posts, so please forgive if I am repetitive. An awful lot of change is scary. I crossed a gender line that held me back for over 40 years... because of fear. Fear of being found out, fear of being portrayed as abnormal, fear of being made fun of, fear of... fear. Damn, FDR was right.
And the walls came down when I began to learn it was all bunk. With each new lesson, the wall got weaker. Change is scary. I went across that gender line, and lost a partner of 27 years and a family, my favouritest pooch and kitty in the whole world, a home, and a business. Scary and scared out of my wits. Yet we continue on, because somewhere inside, we know we will wither and have the essence of our soul, that which we have finally connected with, be lost to us forever.
Studies show women handle being alone better than do men... they love the freedom that comes with it, not having to wait hand and foot on another, not having to put everyone else ahead of ourselves. I love my youngest with all my heart, and so wish she was in my life, at all, never mind daily, which is what my heart would truly desire. Sigh. Anyway, aside from that, I value my freedom, To hell with a six figure salary, being me and make a sh*tload less is worth every dollar given up. From here I can grow... strive to be better, to show that I am a worthy being. Would never have happened had I not crossed that line... because the essence of me would have died, and not a whole lot else would have mattered, a truly scary thought.
It is natural to be scared, but you are brave. We know it, even if you are unsure. Others knew it about me, even if I were unsure. They were right. You will find your way. Fear not errors and mistakes, we learn and we grow. You will think much, you might write much, to yourself, to us, and we welcome you doing so. We are here to chat with, and to provide that cyber shoulder. You will adjust, and you will move on... stronger than ever.
Yes... scarey some of course... most times the new, the unknown is scarey to us.. I loved my venture into my world of my own apt, my own bills and my own car and job..
I had the quiet and loved it.. I played music when I wanted.. I went out when I wanted....I talked to whoever I wanted and made friends and learned of me....I ate when I wanted and stayed up til whatever hour I wanted..... Haa...... Believe me in my
C >^. A .
(((((( Scarlette ))))))
Thank-you for everything you wrote. I have to start seeing this as a new adventure, them I like. Just every once and awhile it hits me that I will be alone in a place of my own. Sometimes I feel like I'm loosing it, LOL. One minute I'm excited ... the next I am scared TOS-less.
One day at a time ... one minute at a time ... I can do this !!!
Thanks for being so understanding and a great friend :o)
Hugs,
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
(((((( Gigi ))))))
Thanks, you are such a sweetheart. I am starting to think that this will get me to know Robin a lot better. She is starting to pop out a bit here and there, and I kind of like her :o)
Thanks for being a great friend to me through all these changes :o)
Hugs,
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
(((((( Laurie ))))))
Thank -you Waurie :o)
Maybe you will find someone you can live with.
My sister e-mailed me today and asked to share a place with me to save us both money ... I just might not be alone !!!
I also sleep with the tv on when I am alone. somehow it feels like company.
That's me too, it makes me not so alone.
Can I ask what state you are moving to?
Of course ! I am moving to Bristol Ct. or Meriden Ct. I would rather live in Bristol ( it's the main headquarters for ESPN and they are always looking for jobs. I would be living about 100 yards away from them.
I am so glad I have you all here, even a cyber hug and shoulder feel really good ! Don't worry about the caps, they don't bother me :0)
Hugs & Love,
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
Being alone is different then being Lonely and I dont see you ever being lonely for long hun, the world is full of interesting people and you will meet lots of them Im sure.
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
Pages