AAARRRRUUUUUGGGGGGG!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
AAARRRRUUUUUGGGGGGG!!!!
9
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 2:25am
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't smoke another cig, I can't talk to anyone because g/f is sleeping and it is to late to call anyone.

I am not feeling suicidal so they might frown upon me calling the hot line just for company.

I think I will play my key boards with my head phones so I don't wake g/f and I at least have something to do.

What do people with no bad habits do late at night when they don't feel like starting something major.

Sleeping is to scarey until my follow up next week with the doctor. I keep thinking I have to be awake incase something goes wrong.

I know it is a tad foolish, but I am afraid now that I know my heart is failing, until I get it reconditioned and find out just where I stand next week with the doctor.

Nobody has to read this, I just need to write and vent.

Just a little more venting, then play my keyboards, then maybe I will calm down enough to sleep a bit. I keep having night mares that big snakes are trying to bite me whenever I drift off to sleep. Maybe the snakes represent my cigs. Does anyone know about dream interpretations.

Okay I am off to play some music and calm down.

over and out,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 2:28am


Hey, Laurie, if you read this I'm awake!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 7:54am

(((((( Laurie ))))))


I'm so sorry that you are so upset you can't sleep, I can relate oh so very well.


As for the nightmares, quitting smoking can bring them on, as can stress. This is what I found about the snake dreams.


*** Dreams are full of symbols. The snake in Christian imagery emphasises the dark side, casting the serpent, the evil tempter in the Garden of Eden, as a spiritual threat; but many cultures worshipped the snake and some Indian yogis revere the serpent as a spiritual guide. The Greeks attributed healing powers to the snake a belief preserved in the caduceus, the snake-entwined staff symbolising the medical profession. The frightening snakes in your dream represent the onset of your illness but the snakes that shine with light symbolise your return to good health.


***


I don't recall my dreams. Last night I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that I was walking in the woods with my ex-stepmother-in-law and she was trying to convince me to take my ex-husband back. I listen to what she had to say and when she finished. I stated that I could not go back to the past and that it was over. The next thing that happened was she started to walk ahead of me and then all these snakes started jumping out at me, they were all around me and then I woke up. I do not understand this dream. I hope that you can give me some insight to it for it has left me really nervous.

Thank You,

Robin

 **Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**   

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 8:29am
((((((((((((((((Laurie))))))))))))))) Take some deep breaths. You are taking all the positive steps you can at this point. Maybe a little escapism would help get your mind off of things (a movie, good book, etc.). Thinking of you...
Ting

Ting 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:04am

Sleeping is to scarey until my follow up next week with the doctor. I keep thinking I have to be awake incase something goes wrong.
I know it is a tad foolish, but I am afraid now that I know my heart is failing, until I get it reconditioned and find out just where I stand next week with the doctor.

((((((Laurie)))))))) I can understand your fears and your feelings as stated above.. It is not foolish.. just is how you feel and a lot of us process fear in many different ways.. I would probably tend to be as you.. But.. I gotta add Laurie Hon, Losing sleep and tiring yourself can't be good for your system.. You need rest and strength..
Harder to do I know than said....
I wish I could give you an in RL (((Hug)))) Hon but alas Cyber ones are all I can give for those..
Listening to soothing music ..Taking a warm Bath or shower...Ummmm How about natural things like a low dose Valerin or a low dose Melatoin ?Those can help ya relax.. I dunno if you can take that but they do help me at times..
I do hope you get some rest in the day if your not at night..Whispers to angels for you..
(((((((((Hugs))))))))"CAT"


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 12:51am
Gigi, I want to thank you for being there for me lastnight. It really helped me not sink to low and it calmed me down enough to get some sleep.

I hope you know how much you helped me get through what was going to be for me a long night.

You were very sweet to chat with me. Thank you so much. You will make someone very lucky someday.

xoxoxo

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 12:57am
Thank you Robin,

That is so interesting. I have been not doing so good with the quiting smoking.

It is hard to be on such a strict diet and quit smoking, but I know I will do it. I have to so I will.

Gigi IM'd with me lastnight and helped calm me down. She is such a sweetie. I don't think that I had any dreams after that. I don't remember if I did.

Let me know how you are doing.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 1:16am
Ting,

Thank you and you are right about the deep breaths and escapism. Tonight I was reading these to g/f so we watched a payperview movie. A comedy titled, The Johnson Family Vacation.

It felt good to laugh so hard.

It did help to have some escapism.

Thanks,

and many hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 1:26am
Thank you cat,

You are so sweet. I am on med to help calm me down and for sleeping but I am still wired.

My brain is awake but my body is asleep. lol

My doctor increased my doseage by 75mg.

Thank you for being so understanding and supportive.

Yes I know I need to sleep. I wish I could.

It seems like a long time since I have talked to you. I heard you were not feeling well.

What happened? Are you doing better now?

How are your sons?

Take care,

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 1:53am


Awwwww, your welcome, Laurie anytime.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce