Advice and Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Advice and Support
8
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:29pm
I have always been a lurker and never posted, so here I am today posting. I need advice and support and I have no where else to turn. I don't even know where to begin, my parnter and I have been together almost 3 years and we are in the midst of planning our commitment ceremony with it being only weeks away (Nov. 6) she has left, we has just a minor disagreement last night and she packed her overnight bag and left without so much as a hug or kiss goodbye and didn't come home last night either, I briefly spoke with her today and she says she needs space, and is not sure if she wants to be with me anymore.

I'm writting because I feel so lost... so alone but most of all so afraid that I have lost the one person who I love more then anyone else in this workd. She says she wants space I'm not sure she even loves me anymore. Here we are weeks away and she's gone. I want to wrap my arms around her and never let her go and tell her she can't leave because I don't want to face the world alone... last night was the first night I had to sleep without her, I didn't sleep I tossed and turned and cried, I wanted it to be like everynight when I go to sleep she is right there I wake up to her every morning and this time she wasnt' there.

I'm struggling with the fact that she just told me and our friends that she couldn't wait to call me her wife and now this. To make matters even worse I have a six year old son who adores her, he calls her mom as well and I don't know what to tell him he wanted to know why she wasn't there this morning..... and I don't have the answers. I hurt so bad and wish this was all just an awful dream...

-M

Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:02pm

Hi there and welcome


My gut reaction of course says its perhaps a case of "pre committment" jitters and that all will be fine in a few days.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:22pm
thxs... it's funny you say not to be too over dramatic because that is generally her... I don't know what to do and it just hurts so bad
Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 7:12pm

well if you say she can be overly dramatic then this may just be part of that.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 7:56pm
Welcome (((((((M)))))))~ I am so sorry you are going through this.. It seems you and your g/f have been doing okay up to now so perhaps it may just be a bit of pre commitment jitters ....I read in another post you posted here in this thread that she is more of the dramtic one so that also seems like it's leaning towards jitters.. But.. you really do need to try Hon and get her to talk(which I am sure you have or are working on).. You did say there was a disagreement and she left.. Is this behavior normal for her during

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 8:42pm


Hello M, welcome to Lesbian Life. I can't give any more suggetions that have already been given, so all I can do is say hold on.


{{{{{{{{{{mbabym}}}}}}}}}}.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:37pm
((((babym))))

I am not sure what your girlfriend is going through.

I sure don't have the answers, but I just want you to know we are here for you.

Your story just broke my heart.

I hope you won't rush into your commitment ceramony if/when she comes back.

Her words, "I don't know if I want to be with you anymore" make me see red flags.

I would certainly not commit myself to anyone who just said that. Who knows how long she will feel like she does want you again when or if she comes back.

It's okay for someone to not be sure if they want to be with someone, but I don't think this could have just come up in such a flash for her. I am guessing she has been thinking about it and this argument was her excuse for an out.

If she flip flops again take her back with caution.

Hugs and I do hope it gets worked out for you.

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:57pm
Thats why I like reading out here.. Ya get different views and at times see things in a different light then what one you were seeing in.. Your thoughts actually do make a lot of sense.. I didn't think about the fact of those words M's g/f said about not knowing if she

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: mbabym
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:12pm
Well thank you Lee,

I enjoy reading all the different views also. That is one of the things I like about this board.

I am not saying that I am right and someone else is wrong just that this is the way I see it. I could be way off. You and Caly also made a lot of sense. It could just be that you 2 are right.

I think I am just cautious about trusting someone who plays me like a yo-yo. My EX did that to me one time and I never trusted her again. It just did not feel the same after that.

I eventually left and now I am glad that I did.

Hugs Lee,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html